I’ve Waited For So Long

“Jeff, stop it. Keegan is my family friend. The gift was super sentimental from our childhood and it got me choked up. That is all babe. I promise,” I reassured him, kissing him softly on the lips.

His face softened and he rubbed my shoulders. He whispered “sorry” in my ear as he held me from behind.

Keegan chuckled and brushed his hair forward with his hand. He does this when he is trying not to say something he would regret.

“Jeff, pleasure as always. Brees, I will see you for game time Squirt,” Keegan said, shooting finger guns at us.

We stayed far away from one another for the rest of the night. The games were mostly boys versus girls anyways so that was perfect. As it started to get late, my mom came down to make sure everyone had a ride home. Quinn left first. She had driven herself over. I really enjoyed having her here. She seemed to be getting along with Baylen quite well too. Not sure how my dad or Alison would feel if they dated, but that’s not my problem.

Everyone had pretty much left at this point. I was picking up things in the living room and putting food away. Board games were everywhere. Everyone tried to clean up, but my mom had to drive Casey, Cyman, Jeff, and Jada home. Keegan had called his mom and said his goodbyes. So I was left doing it on my own.

It sounded however, like someone was still here by the front door. I went around the corner to see who it was and I saw Keegan. Keegan wasn’t able to drive yet per the doctor’s orders. He had been going through concussion protocol and was getting much better. But he still had to have Baylen or his parents drive him everywhere. Baylen was laying down upstairs with a headache, so Keegan had called his mom to come and get him instead. He was standing with his head tilted back and his hands in his pocket facing the large window by the front door. I startled him a bit when I approached him. He didn’t have the same smile he normally greeted me with however. Something was different.

“Kee, is everything okay?” I asked, “I’m really sorry about Jeff earlier. I am not sure what that was.”

I stared intently at his blue eyes. They seemed to have tears in them. Was he crying? I tried to look closer, but the lighting was too dim.

He avoided my eyes and kept looking out of the window. “I’m alright, Brees. No worries about Jeff. I get it. I would have reacted the same way if I saw that happening with my girl,” he sniffed, looking me up and down quickly.

I was happy to know he would defend Jada. I wasn’t so sure about them sometimes. It seemed like they put on a show for all of us, but I never really hear much about things they do without the rest of us. No dates, nothing. It was odd.

“I just heard my dad yelling in the background when I called my mom to come and pick me up,” he said, dropping his head a bit. “They have literally argued every day since I got out of the hospital and my dad stays out until midnight almost every night,” he said. “I feel like this is my fault for missing my last two games due to the concussion.”

I looked at his lips, they were quivering. How did I tell him this wasn’t his fault? That his dad had been having an affair. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. Baylen had told me to mind my own business and I was, but it was hard to see him like this.

“Brees, I have wanted to call you and talk to you like we used to. My head has been so crazy lately,” he said looking over at me.

He was definitely crying. I could see the tears on his cheeks. How I wanted to hold him and reassure him it was okay.

“You can always call me Kee,” I said, touching his arm .

He chuckled a little and put his hands on top of his head. “You have been so consumed with Jeff that I thought maybe you forgot about me. I’m not just Bay’s friend Brees. I’m your friend too, and I’ve needed you,” he said, looking at me so intently.

I stepped closer to him. He needed me? How could I have not been there for the one person that has always been there for me? I took another step towards him and reached out my arms. I thought at this point he wouldn’t hug me back. We weren’t the same people any more and I wasn’t his “Squirt” any longer. And after the way Jeff just bit his head off in the kitchen, I am sure he is quite done with being “close” to me. However, he, without hesitation, came to me and hugged me tightly. He held me for a second, really closely and then loosened his hold a bit.

“I’m always here,” I said softly. “We still are friends, Kee.”

As I was speaking I could see Keegan looking up above the door. That is where my mom hung the mistletoe. No one recognizes this archaic tradition of non-consent, but she puts it there every year anyways. I removed his hands from around my waist as I followed his gaze.

“Yeah…mom has always kept that there. It’s kind of stupid,” I said backing away from him, to break up what I felt was an awkward moment. I didn’t want to send him the wrong message and embarrass myself.

I excused myself so that he could have some privacy with his tears and his thoughts. The idea of Keegan being in pain just broke my heart into jagged pieces.

As I turned to walk away, Keegan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into his embrace. He pushed my hair behind my ear and focused his baby blues on my face. My heart started to race. He studied my face for a while, as if he were trying to examine art in the Louvre. He smiled and caressed my cheek. We had been here before. It was painful then, and could be even worse now. My feelings have only gotten stronger for him. I didn’t assume anything and I kept my cool. I tried to unnoticeably back away, but he kept me close. My hands were starting to sweat and my heart was still racing, but I didn’t let it show.

“If you want me to let you go, Brees, just say the word,” he whispered in my ear.