FAZER LOGIN(Keegan’s point of view)
The beach dinner was so good. Seeing all of my football friends and my family all enjoying one another’s company was special. It was definitely something I needed. After we helped the moms clean up the tables and the beach, we went to the blue house for some male bonding. I sat out in the kitchen with Baylen and Sterling while the other guys played beer pong. Mr. Hamlin would not allow real beer so they used apple juice. I had no interest in playing however. After a while I decided to go into the basement to observe the games. Jeff was down there so I had kind of avoided the area if I am being honest. He and Brees were getting closer and even celebrated a six month anniversary last week. I couldn’t be mad at the guy, he had great taste in women. As I entered the basement I could hear someone say my name and then Brees’ name immediately after. “Dude, Keegan is always trying to be up on your girl Brees. You need to get that under control,” one voice said. “Man, yeah, she is about to swerve you and get her a junior All American,” another said. I came down to the foot of the stairs and could see it was Quincy and Hale, two of Jeff’s friends. Jeff was faced away from me and didn’t see me enter the basement. “Come on fellas. She is completely in love. I gave my girl her first trip to O-town last week,” he bragged, making a trigger motion with his hand. They all cheered and reveled as he bragged to the room about something so private. Brees would be so embarrassed. I couldn’t control what I did next. Without hesitation I walked over and shoved Jeff. He spun around quickly and his gaze met mine. “What the fuck Patts?” he asked angrily. “I could ask you the same thing Jeff. Your relationship should be private and not put on display for your buddies,” I said poking his chest. “Bruh, touch me again and I’m gonna knock you the fuck out,” Jeff said fixing his shirt. “Brees is my piece, not yours and you can’t handle that. She can’t help it if she wants to ride the J-train all the way to D-town,” he said smugly. I didn’t even hesitate, I socked him right in his nose. Blood immediately started coming from his nostrils. He lunged at me and pushed me into the pool table. We each threw a few punches before Mr. Hamlin came and grabbed me. Jeff was still talking shit as Baylen pushed him backwards towards the couch. “Boys, what are we doing? It’s our first night in Punta Cana and we are doing this?” Mr. Hamlin screamed. His voice bellowed and scared a few of us. I looked over at Jeff and Bay. How could no one else be upset that he was dragging Brees’ name through the mud like she was some tramp. Didn’t he “love” her? How could he speak about her like this? I saw her beautiful face appear around the corner. She must have come into the back door that leads to the basement. My heart leapt for a moment and then was crushed when she ran to his aid and walked off with him. Baylen and I went to the back deck and sat on the steps. He shook his head and looked out to the ocean. I could see his disappointment and I knew I was in for a lecture. “I don’t want to ask, but was this over Brees?” he inquired, still not looking at me. “Yeah,” I said shortly. He put his face into his hands and threw his head back. “Kee, she chose Jeff. You gotta let it go and move on,” Bay said exasperatedly. Is he serious? He thinks I’m taking swings at this kid because of a crush? I looked at him and stood up. He looked up at me with a surprised look on his face. “Bay, this kid was talking about private things he and Brees have done and he was gloating to the entire football team and lacrosse team about it. I wouldn’t have hit him for any other reason than to protect your sister. I swear!” I said with frustration. Baylen jumped up with his fists balled. He didn’t even speak, he ran down the steps so quickly that I couldn’t even stop him. I knew it was too late and that Jeff had better hide before he got his ass whipped yet again. I tried to run after Baylen, but he spotted Jeff with Brees on the beach and he took off running. “Baylen, no dude, just wait!” I pleaded. I could see Jeff sit upright as he saw one of the biggest guys in our school headed his way. Brees yelled something, but I could not make out what it was. Baylen took his left shoulder deep as if he were tackling a wide-receiver and landed right into Jeff’s side. Jeff flew off of his feet and onto his back. His eyes were huge and fear took over his once smirked face. Brees got in front of him, as if to protect him. “Move Squirt!” Baylen yelled, dodging left and right to get at Jeff. “Bay, what is happening? Why are you and Keegan so angry with Jeff?” Brees pleaded. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what I had overheard, but I was hoping Jeff would make it right. I stared at him with squinted eyes and he looked up at Brees from the ground and he began to apologize. For me this apology wasn’t enough. I needed him out of here. “Boys, I have got it from here. Let me talk to Jeff. Please!” Brees cried. We walked away and let her have her privacy with Jeff. I had to calm Baylen down. “Dude I’m so sorry I didn’t have your back on this. I should have known you were protecting her,” Baylen apologized. I nodded my head in a reassuring way. We walked back into the house to Hale doing a magic trick of some sort. I couldn’t take my mind off of Brees. I wanted to take her away from Jeff, away from these people. We were in such a beautiful place and we couldn’t even enjoy it together. “Do I even wanna know?” Dante asked, sipping his beer. “No dad. Let’s let this one play out via Brees. She has got this one,” Baylen said. I hope she didn’t let him convince her to stay with him. Even if she isn’t with me, she can’t possibly stay with him.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







