LOGIN(From Keegan’s point of view)
Starting my junior year of high school was exciting. I was in my second year of Varsity football with my best friend Baylen and I had college prospects looking at me in the portal already. It was going to be an amazing year. The only issue was that my dad was setting me up with his co-workers daughter and they expected us to date. My interest wasn’t there for her however. My heart truly belonged to someone else for the last year. I hadn’t seen it before because she was my friend. She was my best friend’s little sister too. Her name is Brees. We call her Squirt and we have since I can remember. I just didn’t see her that way any more. She wasn’t a “squirt”. She was stunning. She was a vision. She was intelligent and funny. She was athletic and challenged me. She made my heart beat fast whenever I saw her. Watching her play softball this summer and seeing her in her element was inspiring. She was one of the best pitchers in the state and she knew it. Her confidence was sexy and her skills were unmatched. My plan was to tell Baylen how I felt first, before I told Brees. I hoped she would feel the same about me. I would love to go into junior year with her as my girlfriend. After practice one day, I walked to Baylen’s car with him. My mom was picking me up that day, but I had to ask him. Working up my nerve to tell my best friend I had a major crush on his sister was tough. I wasn’t sure how he would react, but I had to see. “So Bay, you know how I told you there was another girl I was interested in besides Jada?” I said. “Yeah bro, you are keeping this girl a mystery and for what? So your dad doesn’t get pissed?” Baylen said, throwing his shoulder pads and helmet into the back seat. “Something like that,” I said, rubbing the back of my head nervously. “Except it’s not my dad I am afraid of pissing off,” I said, taking a step back. Baylen looked at me puzzled. He took a step toward me. Baylen is a big dude so he was the last person I wanted to upset. “Bro, what’s going on? You are making me nervous,” Baylen said. “The girl I have been hiding my affection for…is well…it’s Brees… she is the person I have been crushing on and I wasn’t sure how to tell you,” I said, watching his hands closely. I don’t think Baylen would hit me, but when it came to Brees, you could never be sure. “What? Dude don’t tell me that. Anyone else but my sister. It would mess everything up, especially if you two didn’t work out you know? I can’t give you my blessing on this,” Baylen said. “You and I will always be friends, man. But I can’t stop thinking about her. She makes me happy when I’m around her. She is one of my best friends and I want to explore this further. You get that right?” I asked. “Oh I’m sure she does. She is our little ray of sunshine. But I gotta ask you to not act on this. Try this thing out with Jada and maybe you will forget all about Brees,” he said walking towards the driver side of his car. I nodded reluctantly and gave him my word. I wasn’t happy about what I had agreed to, but he was my first friend when I came here to Louisiana and he has been my best friend for 10 years. I wasn’t sure how I could resist her, but I would have to for the sake of my friendship.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







