“I wanted to thank you for allowing me to spend time with your mom.” Kane says looking up at me from his stove. “It was fun having you around. My mother can’t stop asking me about you.” I say and smile at me. “Really? I had such a time with her. I didn’t expect to enjoy her company like that.” He says and I nod in understanding. “I get that, you never know what people are like until you spend time with them.” I say and he looks at me thoughtful. He stops staring in the pot, closes it and then he looks at me in thought. “That’s not what I mean.” He says walking to sit down next to me. “Your mom made me feel like I matter. My mother died when I was young so we never got to have a relationship. And the older people I grew up around always had this air of authority and standoffishness about them. But your mom is so open; she didn’t distance herself from me.” He says looking at me closely to see if I get his meaning. “I’ve never had that before.” He says and I look at him with so many q
“Why are you so far from me?” I ask Shalom who is sitting at the edge of the bed looking at me nervously. “Come here.” I say offering my hand to her. She looks at it and then at me but she doesn’t move any closer. I can see in her eyes that she’s not sure and she’s hesitant. I know that she has some misgivings about me and my new single status. But that is not something she has to worry about. She’s who I want to be with, she’s right where she’s supposed to be. I’ve tried to let her know that everything that happened in the past has no effect on the now but she doesn’t seem to hear me. I know that it’s going to take more than words for her to trust me full and I get that I have some work to do, but I can’t lie and say that this is easy. I am holding myself back to give her the space to make her mind up about us, when all I want to do is grab her and make love to her forever. I want her so bad, every time I’m with her I wish we were naked and intertwined. My body is drawn to her,
“I want you.” I say talking through her kisses. She stops kissing me and looks me in my eyes. She starts taking off her top. I help her out of it and she helps me with mine. I help her out of her bra, leaning in to breast and greedily sucking it. “How can you sucking on my nipple feel so intense? I can feel it in my pussy.” She says panting loudly I suck on her breast harder and he gifts me an even louder moan. I turn my attention to her other nipple, giving it all the love. “I need to ride you while you suck on me like this.” She says and my cock almost jumps out of my pants. The image of her riding me flashed in my mind as soon as she said the words. “But first.” She says grabbing my head. “I need you naked. I need to see your beautiful body.” She says and I start to take off my clothes, she doesn’t need to tell me twice. I get rid of all my clothes so fast she giggles at me while she takes off the rest of her clothes. She had clothes to take off but I finished first. I love that
“Shalom.” Kane says softly. I turn my back to him, my body shaking. I can’t believe I was this careless. I had sex with him without protection. There so much wrong here. “ Shalom.” He repeats as I look around me for my clothes. I need to get out of here, I need to go think. I need space from him. I can never think straight when he’s around. “I need to get home. This can’t happen” I say finally. He stands up and reaches out for me. I move away from him but he grabs me by the waist. He gently pulls me to him and he sits on the bed. I try to get away from but he holds on. The more I try to get our of his hold the more I push my butt into his cock. The feel of his hardness is making me wet all over again. I shouldn’t be having these feelings right now. I feel his hand rub my belly slowly and gently. My pussy gets warm at his touch. I close my eyes asking for strength to get loose from him. He’s holding me but he’s not gripping onto me. I can get free if I want to. And I want to but it
A month later “Did you take the test?” Noni asks staring at me. “Will you not talk so loud?” I say making her quiet down. “I don’t want my mother to hear us.” I add and she looks at me in shock. Her mouth opens and her eyes pop out. “So you are pregnant!” She says whispering a little too loud for my liking. “I didn’t say that” I say feeling my heartbeat picking up. I still can’t believe the test came out positive. I sat on my toilet a month and a half ago and stared at the pee stick in shock. How can I be pregnant? It took one oops and that was it for me. “You didn’t have to.” She says sitting next to me on my sofa. She touches my hand and the tears I’ve held in for the past month come rolling down my face “Oh, Shalom. You have to talk to him. You can’t act like he doesn’t exist.” She says pulling me in for a long hug. “I don’t know how. I don’t even know if he wants to see me or talk to me.” I say feeling so guilty for the way I acted that night. I treated him like a random d
I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant I’m pregnant The words keep replaying in my mind. I stare at her not sure what to say or do. I’ve dreamed of this moment for years. I’ve wanted to hear this woman say these words to me from the first moment I saw her. I take a step toward her but change my mind. My heart is in my throat. I don’t know if I can trust her or this moment right now. This feels like a dream I should be waking up from. The past month has been a nightmare. Seeing her in my kitchen is messing with my head. She broke my heart that night. I don’t know if I can let her in again. How can I trust that she won’t kill me this time? But at the same time I can’t tell her to go home. She’s carrying my child I look at her belly and fight the urge to walk to her and place my hand there. I want to touch her so bad. I want to be near her so bad. Every fibre in my body wants her. I was hoping my anger towards her would take away these feelings but they feel like they’re multiplied. “U
“Are you feeling sleepy?” Kane asks looking at me. I open my eyes and smile at him. We’ve been lying on his sofa for the past hour. It’s like we took the time to reconnect. With every second that passed I felt the anxiety I was holding in my body. I didn’t realize how much I needed to feel his energy around me. I can feel my body relax. His scent is the medicine for every symptom I have. I close my eyes and breathe him in. My phone rings suddenly. I get up to go get it but he stops me. “I’ll get it.” He says going to the kitchen. “It’s your mom.” He says handing me the phone. “Hi ma.” I say sitting up. “Are you okay?” She says and I feel guilty for leaving her like that. “Yes. I’m on my way back home.” I say getting up from the sofa. “No!” She says so suddenly it takes me by surprise. “You don’t need to come back. I’m okay. I just needed to check on you. Bye.” She says ending the call. “Is everything okay?” He asks when I stare at my phone in surprise. “Yes.” I say smiling at h
“I’m hungry.” I say out loud as I walk into Kane’s kitchen. I open the fridge and stare at the contents. I see eggs, milk and butter. My brain immediately goes to waffles. My mouth waters at the thought of eating fluffy and tasty clouds of goodness. “But does this man have a waffle maker?” I say looking around the kitchen. It takes a minute but I squeal when I find a waffle maker. I gather all of the ingredients I need and start mixing the dry ones in one bowl and the wet ingredients in the other. I plug in the waffle maker and a thought hits me, what if it doesn’t work? I would have done this prep for nothing. I say a little prayer before I turn it on. It has to work; I have my heart set on having waffles. I get happy when it turns on and it works. I take a moment to mix the wet ingredients into the dry and mix. Then I pour the mixture onto the waffle maker. I close it and wait. “This is going to be so good.” I say watching the waffles cook. I make sure to use the whole mixture b