CHAPTER 4

The moment I stepped out of the refectory, I felt like I could finally breathe again.

My chest had been tight the entire time I was inside. I forced myself to eat ngumiti kay Jade and act like nothing was wrong, but the truth was I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. I didn’t need to look back to know that he was watching. Just the thought of Cameron being in the same room as me made my stomach twist in a way I couldn’t explain.

I walked faster across the courtyard, clutching the edge of my veil. The sunlight was already bright, and the church grounds were slowly becoming busy again. Some visitors were entering the chapel to pray and wait for the second mass while others were leaving after the first mass. Everything looked normal. Peaceful. The same quiet place I had always known.

Pero para sa akin, hindi ito normal na araw.

I tried to calm myself as I headed toward the convent building. My steps slowed down when I reached the shaded pathway beside the garden. Dito ako dumadaan kapag wala ako sa mood dumaan sa courtyard.

My thoughts kept returning to the same thing.

Bakit siya nandito?

It couldn’t just be coincidence. The church wasn’t exactly the kind of place someone like Cameron would visit casually. He didn’t look like a man who spent his mornings attending mass. Sa hitsura niyang yan? Hindi ako maniniwalang makadiyos siya. I don't think he'll even pray for forgiveness or say thanks to god.

And yet, he was here.

The memory of the smirk on his face when he looked at me made my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

I shouldn’t think about him anymore.

Kung ano man ang nangyari, tapos na. Alya! pabalik-balik nalang tayo e'. Tama na, okay na. Mag dasal nalang tayo! Ipagdasal natin ang kapalastangan mo!

I had prayed for hours, asking God to erase that moment from my heart, to help me forget the weakness that led me there.

It should end there.

Our paths shouldn’t cross again.

With that thought, I continued walking toward the convent parlour. Madalas andoon ang ibang madre upang makipag-usap sa mga taong bumisita. Gusto ko rin doon kasi may nakakausap akong iba't ibang tao, makipag-kwentuhan at kulitan. Some of them are children.

However, when I reached the entrance, I heard voices coming from inside.

Curious, I stepped in quietly.

Sister Esther was standing near the wooden table, speaking with Father Miguel, ang pari na nag misa kanina. I saw several boxes were placed on the counter, filled with supplies—bags of rice, canned goods, and other items we often used for the feeding program in the nearby community.

Nakita agad ako ni Sister Esther.

“Alya,” Sister Esther called.

I immediately bowed my head slightly. “Good morning, Sister.”

Lumapit ako sa kanila. Ganoon din ang ginawa ko kay Father Miguel.

“Mabuti at nandito ka,” she said warmly. “We need help sorting these donations.”

Tumango ako at lumapit sa lamesa. As I began arranging the items, I noticed that there were far more supplies than usual. The boxes were neatly labeled, and everything looked brand new. Ang mahal talaga nito, halatang hindi galing tiangge.

“Marami pong dumating ngayon,” I said softly.

Father Miguel smiled as he adjusted his glasses. “Oo. Isa sa regular donors ng Simbahan ang nagpadala niyan ngayong araw.”

I didn’t think much of it at first. Donations were common in this church. Many kind people supported the community programs, especially the feeding project we organized every week.

Tumango na lamang ako at nag patuloy sa ginagawa. My eyes glance at the papers placed on top of one of the boxes.

A printed receipt was attached to it.

Villareal Foundation — Donation Record.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Though this name is quite familiar, nabasa ko na ata sa isang newspaper. Siguro ito yung isa sa mga bigating tao dito sa maynila. I shrugged it out and still continue to do my work.

But, I cannot help but to ask.

"Father,” I said slowly, I turned my head to his side "This Villareal Foundation… sila po ba ang madalas magbigay ng donations dito?”

I'm a novice, bago palang ako dito kaya hindi ko rin talaga alam.

Father Miguel nodded without hesitation. “Yes, they’ve been helping the church for many years.”

Namangha ako. Wow, what a generous people! May mga tao pa talagang maganda ang puso.

“Many years?” I repeated.

“Yes,” he said. “Their family has supported many of our projects—repairs, charity events and scholarships for some of the children.”

Tumango-tango ako sa sinabi niya. I was about to compliment that family when Sister Esther butt in.

“The young man who came earlier,” Sister Esther added while arranging the supplies. “He’s the son of the Villareal, the only heir.”

For a moment, the sounds around me faded. My mind was suddenly filled with the image of Cameron standing in the chapel earlier, his arms crossed casually as he watched me pray.

Ano daw? Nabingi ba ako, o?

My hands stopped moving.

I didn’t need to ask who she meant.

There was only one unfamiliar young man who had walked inside the church today.

Cameron.

For a moment, I simply stood there, staring at the donation papers in front of me. My thoughts felt tangled, as if my mind was trying to understand something it didn’t want to accept.

Ngayon naintindihan ko na.

That was why no one questioned his presence.

Hindi siya bisita.

His family supported the church.

Which meant he had every reason to be there.

The realization made my chest feel heavy.

He wasn’t out of place.

I was the one who felt out of place.

“Alya?”

Sister Esther’s voice pulled me back to the present.

I quickly lowered my head and continued arranging the supplies. “Yes, Sister.”

“Pakilagay na lang sa storage room ang mga ito pagkatapos.”

“Yes, Sister.”

Magkasabay silang umalis ni Father Miguel habang may dala-dalanb box. Some other novices even helped us.

I carried one of the boxes toward the storage room behind the Refectory. The long walk gave me a moment to breathe, but the uneasy feeling inside me only grew stronger.

Siguro naman ay umalis na siya. There's no reason for him to stay here longer.

Avoiding him suddenly seemed much harder than I expected.

Paliko na ako sa refectory room nang mahagip ko ang pag labas niya doon. Nanlaki ang aking mata sa pagkabigla. He noticed me immediately kaya nagmadali akong lumagpas sa kanya.

"Need help?" I heard him ask.

Hindi ko siya nilingon. Just keep walking alya, remember hindi mo siya kilala. Hindi ko siya kilala, hindi ko siya kila—

"Let me help you." Inagaw niya ang dala-dala kong box. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko doon.

"Ako na!"

"I'll help."

"Kaya ko nga!"

"Still, I want to help—"

"Edi ayan! Sayo na! I*****k mo sa baga mo!"

That words just came out of my mouth. He stared at me amused. Mabuti nalang at walang katao-tao sa aming kinaroroonan.

Masama ko siyang tinignan at nauna sa pag lakad. I felt his footsteps behind me.

Now what should I do?