Sweet Chocolate

"Lainy, get up its time for school and you better not be late again or imma beat yo lil behind" 

I heard my mom yell from downstairs; I swear I hate getting up this early they needa have school at night this 5 a.m shit dead asf. "Gurl you better be up, if I have to come up ther--" 

"I'm up ma" I yell back "damn" I mumble 

"keep on mumbling imma bust you in yo head" she yells back I roll my eyes forgetting black moms can hear from a mile away

"I'm leaving and my house better be clean when I get home" 

I get up when I hear the front door slam. My mom works as a nurse at the local hospital so getting up early is nothing for her, but its a stroke for me. 

I walk to my bathroom and take a quick shower when i get out i throw on some skinny jeans a white v neck and my air force ones. 

I check myself out in my full length mirror I brush my shoulder length hair into a bun then I rub lotion on my skin; My dark skin. I stare at myself wondering "when did I get so dark" 

I try my best to think positive about myself but sometimes its not easy, especially when i stroll through my Instagram and all I see is light skins winning, dark skins are ugly but only dark skin girls; white and light skins love dark skin boys but no one loves dark skins unless she has a big butt or big boobs, but even then they don't love them for who they are but for their bodies.

As I look at myself and my skin color, my small butt, my below average breast and I realize I'm just an outcast not from my school but the world; I'm broken out of my trance when I hear my bus drive past, ugh my moms gonna kill me I whisper to myself as I grab my book bag and prepare for the long walk I have ahead of me. 

Twenty minutes later I arrive at school sweating like a mad dog. I get my pass from the front office and go the girls bathroom to wipe the sweat from my forehead, armpits and apply more deodorant; when I felt I was human again I walk to my first period happy to only have a couple more minutes left because math in the morning is not my forte. 

As I walk in the class I can already feel everyone's eyes on me like they never seen someone walk in class late before. I mentally groan as I hand Mrs. Jackson my late slip and she tells me she would like to speak with me after class, here we go I think as I take a seat in the middle section not too far from the smarties who sit in the front, but, way too close to the slackers, sleepers and loud talkers in the back. 

Before I can start on the worksheet that Mrs. Jackson handed out I can feel someone tap my shoulder, I ignore it at first already knowing who it was and what they were going to ask so I continue with the worksheet until I feel someone tap again but harder than the first; 

I turn around to see Cameron smiling at me "when you finish this worksheet you gone let me see it" 

he says leaning back in his chair staring at me waiting for a response, we go through this everyday he asks and i give sometimes I even try to show him how to do the problems but that doesn't help he just laughs and copies off my paper; its been like this every class we've ever had together since freshman year and we're juniors now, Cams not dumb or anything he just doesn't like to do work, shaking my head I finally reply 

"not this time Cam you have to at least try" he sucks his teeth and blows out a breath 

"Come on Lainy you been helping a nigga pass all year ain't no need to stop now" 

"well when do you wanna stop senior year or when your in college" I roll my eyes when I see him smile 

"don't even answer that, just try the first three and ill give you the rest if their right" 

"what if their wrong" he says picking up his pencil and I smile 

"then you get a zero" I start laughing when I see him scrunch up his face and attempt to hit me with his pencil,

but then the bell rings and everyone starts rushing out the class like a bat out of hell. I get up and start packing up my things 

"why were you late again nigga" I hear Cam say as I put my bag on then remembering that I have to stay after so I take it back off and look at his 6'2 brown skin frame I always thought Cam was cute from his green eyes to his dimples and many tattoos he was a cutie and has been my friend since seventh grade. 

"I missed the bus again" I grumble 

"you know we live in the same neighborhood I can take you to school" he says as we walk to the front stopping at the door 

"okay ill think about it" I say as I look at my shoes "naw ain't no think Lainy imma be there at 7 so be ready and outside" 

I roll my eyes at his demand 

"yo eyes gone get stuck keep playing, but what you staying after class or some" 

"yeah, she need to talk to me" I nod my head towards Mrs. Jackson 

"itee but ill catch you later ma" he says throwing up the peace sign and walking away. 

I turn around and walk to Mrs. Jackson desk already knowing what this was about 

"I wanted to talk to you about your tardiness Alaina" I mentally roll my eyes "your missing half of the notes and most of it is really important information, is there something going on at home that is making you late you can talk to me or the counselor about it because your education is very important to us; maybe we should have a meeting with your mom" 

that snaps me back to reality after zoning out the first half of her speech 

"no Mrs. Jackson its fine I just keep waking up late and missing the bus so I walk" "you live kinda far don't you" she says looking at some papers I'm guessing my file 

"yeah but I wont be late anymore Cameron is going to be taking me to school" I say hoping she'll just let it go, she looks at me for a couple of seconds 

"are you sure everything is okay at home" 

"yes Mrs. Jackson everything is fine" I give her a reassuring smile "thank you for your concern" 

"you're welcome" she says writing me a pass "now get to your next class" she hands me a pass. 

One class down three to go I think to myself as I walk to my History class. 

Luckily we had a sub today so all we had to do was watch a movie and do the worksheet that went along with the movie; so that class breezed by and before I knew it the bell rung and it was time for lunch. 

I walked to my locker to put my binder away when Samantha walked up "hey Alaina" 

"hey Sam" Sam and I have been friends since freshman year friends not best friends just someone who I can talk to when Cams busy and to past the time, 

"where were you just morning, I was mad bored without you chica" I sighed inwardly as I closed my locker and we started walking to the cafeteria. "I missed the bus" I say as we get in line "again chica idos mios" I laugh. 

No Sam's not Hispanic far from it she's a brown skin with braces and box braids; she took two Spanish classes and passed so she feels that makes her one half Hispanic. 

"Yeah but Cam is going to take me to school from now on" I say lowly already knowing her reaction 

"what you mean fine Cam, yo crush Cam, yo papi Cam, yo--"I groan 

"yes Cam my friend" I say as we grab our lunch and sit down 

"aye get it boo finally y'all stopped playing" she said bouncing making the whole bench shake; shaking my head, I scrunch my face up not only at what she said but also at the barely cooked chicken on my tray, I picked at it some more before pushing it away and pulling out my phone and strolling the Instagram, toning out the rest of the lunch and Sam's ranting about some girl who tried her just morning. 

As I sat in my last class which is chemistry a class I really should be focusing on but I cant because all I'm thinking about is Cameron, I mean I already know for sure he doesn't like me but a girl can dream cant she. 

"Ms Jones I know atom bonding might not be the most exciting subject, but you do have to pay attention this will be on your final exam" Mr. Burne says to me I sit up and my chair and stop drawing hearts

"Sorry" I respond as I start taking notes, he nods his head and goes back to teaching.