Not his to break

Larissa POV

Warmth.

The first thing I experienced upon waking up was that. My face was lying against something solid but soft. The steady rhythm of a heartbeat against my ear supported me in telling it that I was in Xavier chest. My arm had an exported ownership around me and even in sleep; he held me as an anchor.

His smell, wild pine, fresh earth, something darker, trickled into my skin as it was a part of me.

I did not want to move away. Not now. Not when he was breathing steadily, his lips closed saving a little, an unusual softness on his normally closed face. I indulged a self indulgent moment and cremated him in silence.

Then his hand walked slowly over my naked back. “how long you are going to pretend to be asleep?”, he said in a husky voice.

A blush came into my cheeks. “You must have known?”

“You had a circle drawn on my chest,” he smirked and still kept his eyes closed.

I give a gentle laugh. “You're warm.”

“You are warm also, he turned and drew me beside him. And mine.”

His voice dropped, with the note of something beyond desiring in it-- something secret and dreadful. then he came back sufficiently to stare into my face.

He touched me with a kiss, very briefly, not a command but a confession.

I had my bath and dressed in a hurry, and was slipping my robe and entering the closet, when I suddenly saw Xavier propped against the door, his arms folded, his eyes riveted on me as they made their leisurely survey. “you are beautiful, he said, with a sort of anguish. I can hardly say a word. You drive me out of my mind, with every inch of your body.”

There was something behind his slow steps toward me more than lust. The tips of his fingers were combing my hair and continuing to my neck where he embraced my face. “You need not do anything to prove yourself. You aremore than enough.”

The sunlight shone through the silk curtains which left a faint golden bar on the room. I was standing before the looking-glass and the Luna crest caught momentarily on my dress. It was nothing like I had ever put on- a kingly garment, painted over with silver, and belted about my middle tighter than a challenge.

This was not fabric.

It was power.

It was not the kind of outfit that I simply wore every day, it was what I was wearing to go in and face the whole pack, not as Xavier mate, but as their Luna.

I shook a little as I slipped in the final buckle. With each breath a thunder rolled in my breasts. Since the bonding ceremony this moment kept haunting my dreams. Since I now knew it as a reality, the burden of it came down on me like weights of bone.

Xavier stood behind me watching in silence.

“You're trembling, he said.And you are shivering?”

I looked in the mirror in his direction. I am scared because I am frightened.

Without any hurry, he came walking my way. You went through rejection and humiliation,betrayal… and yet you emerged. Oh, they aren't bowing to your title, Larissa. They kneeling to your strength”

He halted close behind my back, and laid his hands on my shoulders. His hand calm me.

“What will happen in case I fail them? I whispered. What about the situation when I am not what they require?”

He turned me to face him directly in the eyes. “You are. Since you are not acting like what you are not. You are standing there, flawed, brave, and real. That is what real Luna is made of.”

I felt my throat compelling. He nodded slowly and I took strength in him.

And now he put his hand in mine.

He asked, “ready?”

I wasn’t.

I said, however, “Yes.”

The center of the hall was packed with warriors, and elders, and omegas, even children bolstering the walls. When we entered the place there was a silence. every eye was directed to us--at me.

There were the murmurs, the murmurs that cannot be denied.

“That is her…”

“She is not the last Luna.”

“She is not like other people….”

I stalked down beside Xavier, head-up, heart pounding. Every single stroke was a beat of destiny.

We halted in front of the elevated stage. Xavier drew back, nodded once,--it was my turn.

I addressed myself to the audience.

There was an unbearable silence.

I made one unsteady inhalation, and started.

I heard my voice go louder than I intended, and said, “I am Larissa of the Moonfang pack, and I am here not only as the mate of Xavier... but as your Luna.”

The words were uttered with the airy heaviness of anticipations.

“I know that most of you did not think I would be here today”, I said. Some of you perhaps do not yet acknowledge me. That is alright. I did not come here to be loved on the spot-- I came to win your confidence. To fight for this pack. To stay behind thy Alpha, And behind thee all in order.”

There were the upturned heads of some heads. Eyes widened. Murmurs shifted.

“I had not lived up to this post I can tell, I was not raised to it. Perhaps that is why I would be suited to it though. Since I have been in a situation of needing to fight in order to gain a place. To be neglected. To draw blood over the cause.”

One of the women in the front bowed down her head, some of the warriors placed themselves erect.

“I shall not govern in the shadow. I will be at your side -in peace and strive. If you will have me… I will battle just as you battled.”

In the room it lay motionless--breathless

Then broke one voice gruff and rough, and low. “You have struggled more than ever a Luna fought.”

I turned to the origin of the subject matter- Beta Tarek, the eldest warrior of Xavier. Slowly he nodded, then bowed.

After one another they followed.

Elders. Guards. Omegas. Kitchen hands.

To me they bent their heads.

It is not due to the fact that I compelled it.

However, it was my right because I’d earned it.

---

When I came out after the gathering, I’d take up some air. The mountain air nipped my skin but I felt good about it.

In a few moments Xavier joined me.

I whispered, “they bowed.”

He smiled. “It was because they saw you.”

I turned facing him. “I never thought to live this life. and I was not to be seen.”

“You are not that, he said Then, in half a minute, quietly added, You were made for it, Larissa! I suppose you just did not know it.”

I gazed at him. You did not know? Did you see this, even when you rejected me?”

His teeth bit. “I noticed it as soon as I met you. It is why I was scared.”

I did not ask him any more. I had not to. It was actually the moment of healing the scar of the past, although the scar was still there.