Chapter 5

I had imagined this moment more times than I cared to admit.

In most versions, I imagined a woman built in her father's image, sharp-eyed and calculating, already searching the throne room for weaknesses before she'd finished her first bow. I had prepared for that woman. I had rehearsed, in the quiet hours before dawn, exactly how little of myself I intended to give her.

The woman walking toward me down the long hall was not searching for anything.

She walked the way someone walks into cold water, steady because stopping would be worse than continuing, her spine straight in a way that looked deliberate rather than natural. The royal cloak sat unfamiliar on her shoulders, the silver too new against skin that had clearly spent more time in sunlight than any noblewoman I'd met at court. Her hands were folded in front of her, and even from this distance I could see how tightly.

She did not look at the throne the way most did, with calculation, gauging distance and posture and exactly how low to bow. She looked at it the way a person looks at a door they know leads somewhere they cannot come back from.

I rose because staying seated felt, suddenly, like something my father would have done.

"Lady Mara Clifton," the steward announced, though we both already knew.

She stopped at the base of the dais and inclined her head, not quite a bow, not quite defiance either. Something careful, measured, the kind of gesture a person makes when they haven't yet decided how much of themselves this room deserves.

"Your Majesty."

Her voice was quieter than I'd expected. Not weak. Controlled, the way mine was controlled, though I doubted she'd recognize the resemblance any more than I wanted to admit it.

I descended the dais steps slowly, and I watched her watch me do it, her eyes tracking the movement with the wary stillness of something that has learned not to run from what it cannot outrun.

"You've had a long journey," I said.

"I have, Your Majesty."

"And a longer day before it."

Something flickered across her face, there and gone before I could name it. Not quite surprise. More like she hadn't expected me to know that, or to say it if I did.

"Word travels quickly from Blackstone," she said.

"Word travels quickly to me. There's a difference."

I hadn't meant it to sound like a warning, but I heard it land as one, watched her absorb it and file it away behind eyes that gave up far less than her father ever had. Cedric Clifton wore his thoughts like a second face, easy to read once you learned the shape of his ambition. His daughter wore nothing at all, and that unsettled me more than I wanted to examine.

"I trust the accommodations prepared for you are adequate," I said, because it was easier than the things I actually wanted to ask.

"I haven't seen them yet, Your Majesty."

"No. You've only seen me."

It wasn't meant as anything, only an observation, but something about the way I said it made her chin lift a fraction, as though she'd decided, in that moment, that she would not be the only one made uncomfortable in this exchange.

"Is that meant to be worse?" she asked.

The steward, somewhere behind me, went very still. I heard the small, sharp intake of breath from one of the attending guards, the kind of sound men make when they expect to watch someone be punished for insolence.

I found, unexpectedly, that I wanted to laugh.

I didn't. But I wanted to, and that alone told me something I would need to think about later, alone, without an audience of nobles and guards recording every flicker of my expression for gossip that would reach the council chamber by morning.

---

"Walk with me," I said instead.

It wasn't a request, though I made an effort to say it like one. She fell into step beside me without being told twice, and we crossed the throne room toward the tall windows at its far end, away from the steward, away from the guards, into the kind of privacy a palace this size rarely offered anyone.

The moon hung full and heavy over the training grounds below, silvering the stone in a way that made the whole courtyard look carved from the same pale material as the palace itself.

"You didn't ask to refuse this," I said, watching the grounds rather than her. "Your father made that clear enough in council. But I imagine you considered it."

"Once."

"And?"

"I was told I don't have the privilege of refusing things." Her voice didn't waver. "So I stopped considering it."

There was no self-pity in the way she said it, none of the performed suffering I'd half expected from a noblewoman raised to believe her value lay entirely in her usefulness to men who outranked her. Only fact, stated plainly, the way she might report a season's grain yield.

"Your father is a difficult man to refuse," I said.

"You'd know that better than most, Your Majesty."

I turned to look at her then, and for the first time since she'd entered the hall, she met my eyes without looking away first.

"What do you know of that?"

"Only that House Clifton doesn't fear kings easily." A pause, careful, testing the ground before she committed her full weight to it. "And you invoked a law three generations dead to take his daughter and his fortress in the same afternoon. That isn't the work of a man settling a border dispute."

I said nothing.

She continued anyway, quieter now, though no less steady. "I don't need to know what happened between you and my father to understand that I'm not standing here because of Blackstone."

The old wound stirred, the one I'd buried in that council chamber days ago, laughter from a court draped in gold, aimed at a boy who hadn't yet learned to make silence a weapon. I felt my jaw tighten before I could stop it, felt the muscle along my throat go rigid the way it always did whenever that particular memory surfaced uninvited.

"You're perceptive," I said, when I trusted my voice again. "That will either serve you well here or get you into considerable trouble. Possibly both."

"I've been told I'm too observant for my own good since I was seven years old." Something almost wry passed over her face, gone as quickly as it came. "It hasn't stopped being true."

---

We stood there a moment longer, the silence between us different from the silences I was used to commanding in council chambers and war rooms. Those silences existed because men feared what I might say next. This one existed because neither of us knew yet what the other intended to become to us.

"You should know," I said finally, "that I have no intention of making this pleasant for you."

"I didn't expect you to."

"And I have no intention of pretending otherwise. Whatever comfort the title of Luna affords you, it was not granted out of any regard for your comfort."

"I understand that, Your Majesty." Her voice remained level, though something tightened briefly around her eyes. "You've made your reasons very public."

"Have I."

"The entire kingdom knows this marriage is punishment. You didn't trouble yourself to disguise it."

It was, I realized, the first thing she'd said that came close to sounding like an accusation, and I found myself studying her more closely for it, this woman who could stand in front of a king who had just dismantled her family's power in a single signature and still find the composure to point out, quietly, precisely, that he hadn't bothered being subtle about it.

"No," I admitted. "I didn't."

"Then I suppose we understand each other."

"I suppose we do."

She held my gaze a moment longer than protocol required, and something passed between us that I didn't have a name for yet, not attraction, not quite, though I registered distantly that she was beautiful in the unstudied way of someone who had never been taught to use it as a weapon. It was something closer to recognition. The particular, uncomfortable sensation of meeting someone who might, given enough time, prove more difficult to read than I was prepared for.

I didn't like it.

I had built my entire reign on being the only person in any room who understood exactly what was happening in it. This woman, exhausted and grieving and freshly stripped of everything she'd known, had somehow managed, within the space of a single conversation, to make me feel as though I were the one being assessed.

"The steward will show you to your chambers," I said, stepping back, putting the necessary distance between us before I examined that feeling any further. "Someone will bring you supper. You've eaten little today, I imagine."

"No, Your Majesty."

"Eat something. Whatever you think of me, I have no interest in you starving under my roof."

Something shifted in her expression at that, some small crack in the composure she'd worn since she entered the hall, though she covered it quickly enough that I might have imagined it.

"Thank you," she said, and it sounded, strangely, like she meant it.

---

I watched her go, escorted down the corridor by the steward, her spine still straight, her steps still measured, carrying herself like a woman who had decided, somewhere on the long ride from Blackstone, that she would not give this palace the satisfaction of watching her break.

Damon appeared at my shoulder once the sound of her footsteps had faded entirely.

"Well?" he asked.

I didn't answer immediately. I stood at the window instead, watching the moon over the empty training grounds, turning over the conversation the way I turned over battle reports, searching for the detail I'd missed, the weakness I should have found and hadn't.

"She isn't what I expected," I said finally.

"Is that good or bad, for the plans you've made?"

I thought of her voice asking if silence was meant to be worse. I thought of the steadiness in her when she admitted she'd stopped considering refusal, not from surrender, but from the particular, hard-won discipline of someone who had learned long ago which battles were worth exhausting herself over.

"I don't know yet," I said. "That's what concerns me."

Damon said nothingfurther, which was, I had long since learned, his particular way of telling me he'd noticed something I hadn't yet admitted to myself.

I remained at the window long after he'd gone, and told myself the unease settling into my chest was simply caution.

I did not entirely believe it.