It can't be

Chapter 16

Jacob’s POV

"It can't be!" Gab growled, massaging a balled-up fist with fingers that shook to the wave of his fury. "I would have been fine with any woman, but her?! What is the Moon Goddess thinking?! Why her?!"

He had that look—like he wanted to punch something, or someone. Instead, he turned to the aged moonlight wine and poured himself a long swig before throwing his shoulders back and staring at the fireplace like it owed him answers to his dilemma.

Lucien, as usual, took a more calm approach, even when the ground beneath our feet was being slid right off. But you could tell that he was troubled in his own way. His brows were heavily knitted with thought, his legs crossed to cosplay relaxation while he swirled a glass of wine without drinking any of it. It was funny, since he was the one always badgering Gabriel and me out of stronger drinks laced with the right amount to make a nice kick instead of plunging us into a permanent slumber.

I wasn't drinking, according to the Royal Lycan doctor's orders to aid my recovery.

To think that, in some amount, I owed the Viper my life made my skin crawl. But then my wolf wouldn't stop bombarding me with memories of how she had driven like a madwoman to get me help, her fingers traveling through my hair and the feel of her breath tickling my cheek.

Thinking of that filled me with a rush of shame and something else I wouldn't dare name.

"What are we going to do with her?" I asked, hating how helpless I sounded. This was my fault. I brought her here.

I must have been unable to tell before because her scent was still blocked by cloakers. But now that it had been freed, the moment I was in that dungeon with all of my brothers, I could feel it like something electric traveling from my toes up to my fingertips, grappling through my body. Her scent hit me in waves until it became floods, she smelled of lavender, vanilla, and a desire that threatened to cripple me, even if I chose not to succumb to it.

"First and foremost, we cancel the Moon Council," Lucien stated firmly. "They cannot find out about this. And I mean that under no circumstances should they find out about this weakness."

My eyes fell downwards, guilt eating me up. I finally vocalized what had been bouncing back and forth in my head. "I should have stayed put, just like both of you said."

"By the Moon Goddess, you should have, but…" Gabriel stopped halfway through his sentence and just dug his fingers through his hair. "Ugh! This is so frustrating!"

"Gab, go easy on him," Lucien said, staring at his glass now without taking a single drop. "As long as all of us are still alive, we were bound to meet her eventually. Because of the bond, our paths would eventually have to intertwine whether we wanted them to or not. We can't be so harsh to our brother. Unfortunately, this was just our fate."

Gab shot up to his feet, pacing from one side of the study to the other and growling under his breath, his complaints pouring out like water. "Neither of you are bothered by this, and I guess I should not be surprised. It's not like either one of you were looking forward to having a mate. So I'm sure this means nothing to you both, but for me..."

He stopped in front of the heavy cushioned chair that he had been sitting on earlier, gripping it as if he was ready to smash it right under his hold. Then, the guilt hit me again in hard, unforgiving, violent waves.

It was surprising to most people, but my hot-blooded brother was the one who yearned for a mate the most. He was open about wanting someone to protect, to care for. Other than with us, his brothers, those were the only moments where you could find some softness in all the rough edges that made Gab “Gabriel”. Now I could see the cracks on those edges, exposing the rage, which was just sadness that didn't know where to go.

We couldn't kill her anymore. Not unless we wanted our wolves to rebel and drive us insane within days.

And rejection didn't work for us the way it did for werewolves. It was odd to me how they could just utter a verbal proclamation and a bond that was supposed to mean forever would crumble apart like wet tissue. For Lycans, it was different. There were no second-chance mates for us, just our first and one-and-only. Then, nothing else. Once we were able to reject her, we would never have another fated mate. That connection that seemed to tilt the world would be gone for us forever.

Lucien stood up, motioning forward to hug Gab. Gab gave into the hug, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I rarely ever saw that. The brother I knew could march into any battlefield without caring about being outnumbered, moving through the fray like a sharpened blade.

Now, he seemed to crumble at an unjust fate, one that brought us back to a moment of deep disadvantage even after we had rightfully won the war. I couldn't imagine how he felt as commander, watching his men die again with victory being uncertain.

We were at a standstill, unsure of what we were really going to do, because she was a variable that we never considered possible for us. A werewolf mate for Lycan royalty? It was rare for normal wolves and practically unheard of for us.

And now it was tearing mine and my brothers' bonds right at the seams. Even though Lucien did not say it outright, even though he tried to play the peacemaker as he always did, I knew deep down he blamed me, too, for stepping out of line.

So, it's only right that I fix this.

After Lucien broke his hug with Gab, the conversation continued going nowhere. I excused myself, stating that I was going to bed.

But really, I had something else in mind.