Chapter 24 – Shadows Inside

The days all blended together into one mess.

We had to bury more of our people who died. We fixed the walls that were broken from the fire. We trained every day until our bodies were sore and tired.. Every night no matter how tired I was I slept in Damons arms trying not to think about the bad thing growing inside my chest.

It started as a cold spot behind my ribs. It would not go away no matter how close Damon held me or how blankets we used. Then it started to spread. It made my wolf inside me feel restless even when everything was quiet. I would catch myself staring at nothing thinking about memories that did not feel like mine. I remembered the sound of fire my mother calling my name and my father using his breath to cast a spell.

I did not tell Damon how bad it was getting, at not right away.

He knew anyway. Our special bond between us always gave me away.

One night after a day of training we were in bed together. The room was dark except for a moonlight coming through the curtains. Damon had his arm around me. His chest was warm against my back. His breath was on my neck. His hand was on my stomach moving in slow circles like he was trying to calm the bad thing inside me.

"You are hurting " he whispered. It was not a question.

I swallowed hard. "It is not that bad."

His hand stopped moving. "Do not lie to me, Isla. Not about this."

I turned to face him. His eyes looked almost black in the dark. He was tired and worried. I could see how much he loved me which made my chest hurt even more.

"It feels like something is growing inside me " I said quietly. "It is cold and slippery. Sometimes I hear whispers like it wants me to be angry and stop caring about our people."

Damons jaw got tight. He pulled me close until our foreheads touched.

"I can feel it too " he said. "Through our bond. It is like a shadow trying to come between us. Every time it gets stronger I feel you pulling away a little even though you do not want to."

I closed my eyes. "I am scared."

"I know," he. His voice cracked. "I am scared too.. You are not fighting this alone. I am here with you. Every step. Every breath. I am not going to let this bad thing win."

He kissed me then slow and deep. His hands moved over me like he was trying to remember every part of me. I kissed him back just as strong putting all my fear and love into it.

We were together that night like it might be our time. We were not in a hurry. We were just honest with each other. Our hearts were beating together and our bond was open so we had no secrets.

When we finally stopped Damon held me tight.

"I love you " he whispered into my hair. "No matter what happens. Even if this bad thing tries to change you. You are still my mate. You are still the woman who survived all the things I did to you and came out stronger. I love every part of you."

I cried again. I was tired of crying but I could not stop.

"I love you too " I whispered back. "Even the parts of me that feel broken now."

We fell asleep like that together and close.

The morning the bad thing inside me did something new.

I was in the training yard with some warriors. I was teaching them how to use a bit of their power when the cold thing inside me got strong. My vision got blurry. For a second I was not in the yard anymore. I saw fire. I heard my mother screaming my name.

I fell to one knee trying to catch my breath.

Rafe was beside me away. "Isla what is wrong?"

"I am fine " I lied. My voice sounded wrong too sharp and too cold.

Damon came over. Took me away from the others.

"It is getting worse " he said. It was not a question.

I nodded. "It showed me my parents again the night they died. It felt so real like I was there."

His jaw got tight. I heard it pop. "We need to do something. Mara said there might be some books in the archives that can help us. Maybe we can find a way to make it weaker."

I looked up at him. "What if we cannot? What if it keeps growing until there is nothing left of me?"

Damon touched my face with both hands. His thumbs were gentle on my cheeks.

"Then I will love whatever is left of you " he said strong. ". I will fight the rest until it is gone. I am not going to lose you, Isla. Not to some bad thing. Not to anything."

I leaned into his touch. For a moment the cold thing inside me went away.

We spent the rest of the day looking at books and scrolls with Mara. She explained what she could. Even she looked worried.

"The bad thing inside you is a piece of something dark " she said. "It wants to be in charge.. You are stronger than it thinks. Your bond with Damon helps. Love is a kind of power too."

That night Damon and I lay in bed again. This time he talked a lot.

He told me stories about when he was younger and how he used to be mean to me because he was scared of his feelings. He said he was sorry for every thing he did. He said being the leader made him harder and colder until our bond changed everything inside him.

"I do not deserve you " he said quiet. ". I am going to spend my life trying to."

I kissed him soft. "You already are."

The bad thing inside me moved again that night. I woke up with my chest burning and shadows whispering in my mind. Damon woke up with me. He did not ask questions. He just held me until the bad thing went away.

We stayed like that until morning together.

The war was still. The bad thing was still growing.

Something else was growing between us, something stronger, than fear.

Something that might just be enough to save us both.