Chapter Fifteen

Brielle's POV

I spent the whole day in my room. My guilt became worse each passing second.

"Hey," A voice startled me. I turned back around to see Lucien behind me.

"What the long face?"

"I'm tired,"

"Of the sex?" He shot back with a goofy look.

"You know what I mean. I'm tired of the lies and pretense, I can't lie to him anymore," I stated.

"He has been there for me since I came to Eclipse. He had been by my side for months, as a friend and partner,"

"You want him?" He inquired with nonchalant look.

"I don't want to hurt him,"

"You love him?" He shot another question swiftly.

"I don't want to hurt him,"

"Brielle...."

"No, no more Brielle talk. Just let me be, I have made up my mind,"

He hesitated but left without a word. My head became clearer as I made up my mind.

I stepped out of my room to make things right. I went to his quarters and knocked softly.

"Yeah," He opened with a dull look.

"I thought you wanted to be alone.

"Not anymore, I don't want you to leave me," I leaned in and kissed him before he could utter a word. He grabbed me firmly and shut the door.

******

I focused on my duties and my relationship with Zane. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that stayed in the back of my mind. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what happened between Lucien and I.

One morning, as I was getting dressed, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I rushed to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I started to throw up. Panic set in as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

“No, it can’t be...” I whispered to myself.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I needed to be sure. I needed to get proof. Later that day, I made an excuse to go into town and bought a pregnancy test.

The wait for the results felt like an eternity to me. When the second line appeared, confirming my worst fear, my heart sank.

“I’m pregnant? I’m pregnant.” I muttered, my hands shaking.

The timing put me in troubling thoughts. The child had to be Zane but my encounter with Lucien began at that same period. I had no idea whose baby it was.

I couldn’t tell Zane the truth. It would destroy him, destroy us.

That night, as Zane and I sat together in the living room, I tried to muster the courage to tell him. But every time I looked at him, the words caught in my throat. I couldn’t do it.

“Are you good, kitten?” Zane asked, his brow furrowed with concern. “I know you don’t want me to disturb you with this, but I need to be sure.

I forced a smile.

“I’m fine.”

I decided that I would keep the truth hidden. I couldn’t bear the thought of the problems that would arise if the truth were to be revealed. I had to protect everyone involved, even if it meant living a lie.

Over the next few days, I cooked up a story to align with the pregnancy timeline in my head, just in case. But when I told Zane that I was pregnant, and that the baby was his, his reaction was one of pure joy, and it broke my heart to deceive him.

“We’re going to have a baby!” He exclaimed, pulling me into a tight hug.

“Yes, we are.” I replied, my voice shaking.

I started living the lie, convincing myself that it was the best solution. As the weeks passed, I threw myself into preparing for the arrival of the baby, doing my best to focus on the future. Lucien heard the news but said nothing about the topic. I could sense him glancing at me from afar, silently stalking my move.

Everynight I dream of him, I dream of our encounters and wild imaginations of the encounter that could happen. I wake up feeling hollow but I grabbed on to the future of having a child with Zane.

We even had a nursery in preparation, and Zane would randomly burst in with a big smile on his face.

“I can’t wait to be a father.” He said, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

I leaned into his arms, feeling guilty.

“I know. You’re going to be a wonderful father.”

I learned to push my guilt and fear to the back of my mind, focusing on the happiness that Zane felt. He was so excited about the baby, and I couldn’t bear to take that joy away from him.

But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that this was the right thing to do, there was always a part of me that knew the truth. My deception was always hanging over me, and I wondered if what I was doing was right.

“Brielle, are you okay?” Zane’s voice broke through my thoughts about the baby.

I turned to him, forcing a smile.

“Just thinking about the baby.”

He reached over and placed a hand on my belly.

“I can’t wait to meet our little one.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I placed my hand over his.

“Me too.”

As my pregnancy progressed, I told myself that avoiding Lucien was the best thing I could do.

I was going to the clinic when I saw Lucien standing in the doorway, watching me for a moment before he spoke.

“Avoiding me like a plague now?” He uttered.

I looked up, my heart pounding.

“Its what best, Lucien. You knew it from the beginning when you rejected me,"

“How long should I suffer for that?"

He walked over and sat down across from me, his eyes searching mine.

“You’ve been acting really strange lately. I know something is bothering you. What is it?”

I swallowed hard, trying to come up with an excuse.

“I’m just overwhelmed with everything. The baby, the pack... it’s a lot to handle.”

Lucien shook his head.

“It’s more than that. I can feel it. Please, just talk to me.”

“I can’t, Lucien. It’s complicated.”

He reached out and took my hand, his touch sending a shiver down my spine.

“Brielle, whatever it is, I am interested in knowing. If it’s stopping you from talking to me, I need to know!”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I pulled my hand away, leaving him standing there.

“I need to get some air and other things.” I said, rushing out before he could stop me.

As I walked outside, the cool air hit my face, and I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I knew I couldn’t keep this up much longer. The guilt was eating me alive, and the constant fear of being found out was more than I could bear. To my surprise, Lucien followed me, and I was afraid of us being seen together like this in public, so I pulled him aside.

“Can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Look here. You can’t keep avoiding me. Just tell me what’s going on.” His voice was almost commanding:

I looked around nervously, making sure no one else was around.

“Lucien, you have to let this go. There is nothing to tell.”

“Yes, there is. What is it that you are hiding from me? Does this have something to do with Zane?”

I shook my head, panic rising in my chest.

“No, it’s nothing like that. Just drop it, please.”

He took a step closer, his voice low and urgent.

“I can’t drop it, Brielle. I think about you too much to just let this go.”

Tears streamed down my face as I shook my head.

“You don’t understand. This isn’t something that can be fixed. Just leave it alone. When I wanted this life with you, where were you?” Tears welled in my eyes.

Before he could respond, I turned and walked away, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew it was only a matter of time before the truth came out, and I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up the pretense.