4

Julia stood in the shower for forty minutes, water as hot as she could stand it, trying to wash away the feeling of Mikal's hands on her skin. It didn't work. Nothing worked. She'd given herself to a man who'd disappeared without a word. The walk back to campus that Sunday morning had been excruciating. People had stared at her—or maybe she'd just imagined they had. Did they know? Could they tell just by looking at her that she was different now? That she'd crossed a line she could never uncross? Her phone sat on the bathroom counter, silent. He'd gone or why he'd left her sleeping in his bed like she meant nothing.

"Jules?" Kate's soft knock came at the door. "You've been in there for almost an hour. Please come out. Talk to me." Julia turned off the water with shaking hands and wrapped herself in a towel. When she opened the door, Kate was waiting with worried eyes and a cup of tea. "I made you chamomile," Kate offered. "And I ordered pizza. Comfort food helps everything, right?" Julia took the tea but couldn't manage a smile.

"I'm such an idiot." "You're not an idiot. You're human." Kate guided her to sit on the bed. "What happened? Did he... did he hurt you?"

"No. Nothing like that." Julia wrapped her hands around the warm mug, needing something to hold onto. "He was perfect, actually. Gentle. Patient. Everything a first time should be."

"Then what's wrong?"

"When I woke up, he was gone." The words came out barely above a whisper. "No note. No explanation. Just gone." Kate's expression hardened.

"That asshole."

"I thought..." Julia's voice cracked. "I thought it meant something. I thought he liked me. But I was just—what? A conquest? Another girl stupid enough to sleep with him?"

"Hey, no." Kate set down her own tea and took Julia's hands firmly. "You are not stupid. He's the asshole here. You were honest about what you wanted. He's the one who disappeared like a coward."

"My parents were right." Julia laughed bitterly. "They always said the world outside our community was full of people who would use you and throw you away. I just proved them right."

"Your parents are wrong about a lot of things," Kate said fiercely. "One bad experience doesn't validate their entire worldview. Mikal is one guy. One disappointing, cowardly guy. He doesn't represent everyone." Julia wanted to believe her. Wanted to think that her parents' dire warnings about sin and consequences were just religious fear-mongering. But sitting in her dorm room with her body still aching from lost innocence and her phone mockingly silent, it was hard not to feel like she'd made a terrible mistake.

"I'm sorry, Jules." Kate pulled her into a hug. "You deserved better for your first time."

"I knew the risks," Julia said into Kate's shoulder. "You warned me not to move too fast. I just... I wanted to feel something. To make my own choices. To not be the sheltered good girl for once in my life."

"And that's okay! You're allowed to want those things. Mikal's the one who screwed up here, not you." They spent the rest of Sunday in pajamas, eating pizza and watching romantic comedies that promised happy endings Julia no longer believed in. Kate kept up a steady stream of commentary—pointing out plot holes, mocking unrealistic relationship expectations, trying to make Julia laugh. It helped. A little. By Monday morning, Julia had almost convinced herself she was fine. So she'd made a mistake. So she'd trusted someone who hadn't deserved it. She'd learn from it and move on. Except moving on was harder when she kept seeing him everywhere. Not actually seeing Mikal—he seemed to have vanished from existence. But seeing echoes of him. A guy in her psychology class with similar hair. Someone in the cafeteria with the same laugh. The architecture building she now avoided because just looking at it hurt.

"I just want to forget it happened," Julia told Kate on Wednesday night. "Pretend that whole night never existed."

"Okay," Kate agreed. "We can do that. Clean slate. Fresh start. That night at Voltage never happened." Julia nodded, relieved to have permission to bury the memory deep. She didn't know that forgetting was impossible. Didn't know that three weeks later, that night would come roaring back with consequences she couldn't ignore. Didn't know that while she was trying to forget Mikal, someone else was making sure she'd never forget that night at Voltage. Because Don Massimo Valentino had a very different plan for Julia Morrison. And unlike Mikal, when Massimo decided he wanted something, he didn't disappear. He consumed.