The Sin of Loving You

Ainara Pilar Del Carmen was halfway through her overpriced airport latte when she heard the voice she least wanted to hear.

“Late for your own mother’s engagement party?” Smooth. Icy. Familiar.

She turned slowly, already bracing for the smirk. Paano naman nalaman nito ang tungkol sa engagement party? And then it clicked to her, nagfile nga pala s’ya ng bakasyon at ang inilagay niyang reason ay engagement ng kanyang ina. Of course, Andres has the final approval for all their vacations. Napailing na lang s’ya ng wala sa oras.

Andres Jaime Agustin Bernardino stood beside her, suitcase in hand, tailored coat slung over one arm like he’d just stepped out of a luxury ad. His eyes scanned her outfit — black jeans, oversized blazer, messy bun — and settled on her face with amused disdain.

“You look... efficient,” he said.

She should have seen that coming. Walang pinapalampas na sandali si Andres para asarin s’ya lalo na kung may pagkakataon. 

“I’m traveling,” she replied. “Not auditioning for a cologne commercial.” Pinarolyo niya ang mga mata. Dapat ay sanay na s’ya sa mga pasaring ni Andres sa kanya. 

The two of them knew each other since they were kids at kahit noon ay para na silang aso’t pusa. 

He chuckled. “Still bitter about the proposal?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Still smug about rejecting it?”

They’d been sparring for months — over budgets, timelines, and the community housing project Ainara had poured her soul into. Andres, her boss, had dismissed it as “idealistic.” She’d called him “emotionally constipated.” HR had stopped intervening after the third round.

Now, apparently, they were flying to the same destination: Manila.

Same flight. Same gate. Same emotional migraine.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to the Del Carmen engagement,” she said, already dreading the answer. Imposibleng guest ito sa engagement ng kanyang ina. Alam niyang magkakilala ang mga pamilya nila pero hindi naman ito close sa kanyang mama. 

He raised an eyebrow. “I am. My father’s fiancée insisted.”

Ano raw? Hindi niya alam kung bigla s’yang nabingi o nagshort circuit ang utak niya. Sinong fiancée ng ama niya? 

Ainara blinked. “Wait. Your father’s fiancée?” Hindi alam ni Ainara kung bakit ganoon na lang kalakas ang tibok ng puso niya. “Is he getting married too?” bigla niyang tanong sa lalaki. 

He nodded. “To Celia Del Carmen. Elegant. Former beauty queen. Likes orchids.”

Her stomach dropped.

“No,” she whispered. Her mother can’t marry Andres’ father. Jaime is— no way.

“Yes,” he said.

“No.”

Kumunot ang noo ni Andres at hindi alam kung matatawa sa kausap o maiinis. 

“Yes. You didn’t know?”

She stared at him instead of answering his question. 

“Tell me you’re joking.” Hindi pa rin makapaniwala si Ainara sa naririnig. Para s’yang nasa loob ng isang bangungot at hindi magising.

“I don’t joke. Especially if it is about family mergers.”

Her mouth went dry. Her mother — who had refused to name her fiancé for months — was marrying Andres’s father?

Which meant...

“You’re going to be my stepbrother,” she said, horrified. Ainara felt like vomiting. Ilang beses ba niyang napanaginipan si Andres? Maraming beses. 

At sa lahat ng panaginip niya, palagi ‘yong mainit at— For fuck’s sake. If her mother is marrying Jaime, Andres is really going to be her stepbrother for real. Hindi s’ya dapat nag-iisip ng mga karupokan tungkol dito.

He tilted his head. “Technically. Legally. Emotionally? God, I hope not.”

She grabbed her suitcase. “I need a drink.” 

At the back of Ainara’s head, she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have alcohol. But right now, what choice does she have? Everything is spiraling in her life and she can’t do anything about it rather than watch it happen.

He followed. “You already have one.”

Pinaningkitan niya ito ng mga mata, pero bahagya lang s’ya nitong tinaasan ng isang kilay.

“I need a stronger one.”

Ainara felt his presence. Talagang sinundan s’ya nito sa isang wine bar. It is within the terminal so she doesn’t have to go far. 

“A glass of Pinot Grigio, please. Thank you.”

“And you, Sir?” 

“Just Perrier.”

Nang maibigay ang order nila ay nanatiling tahimik si Ainara. She was processing all the news. Ang sabi ng mama niya ay hindi na ito mag-aasawa. Pumanaw ang kanyang papa dahil sa sakit sa puso. She didn’t know at the time that her father has Cardiomyopathy— a disease of the heart muscle. May iniinom naman itong gamot pero dahil laging nakatutok sa trabaho ay sala sa oras kung kumain at madalas na nakaupo. Bihirang mag-exercise. Nagsimula lang sa heart palpitations at panaka-nakang pangangapos ng hininga. Five years later, Joaquin Del Carmen had a fatal heart attack. 

Ainara was only twenty-one at the time. Ni hindi pa s’ya nakakagraduate at nasa New York s’ya nang mamatay ang ama. To say she was devastated was an understatement. 

“You really didn’t know they were engaged?” pagkaraan ay tanong ni Andres sa kanya. 

Tinaliman niya ito ng tingin. “You think me acting surprise was fake?” Napabuga s’ya ng hangin. “My mother promised not to remarry, okay? So this wedding is just— God!” 

Hindi niya itinuloy ang sasabihin at sinaid ang laman ng kopita. Hindi niya ibinaba ‘yon sa counter hanggat hindi ubos ang laman. 

“Can I have another one, please? Thanks!” Muling umorder si Ainara ng wine at naglabas ng pera.

“I don’t think you should have another drink.”

“And I think you should know you’re not the boss of me.” Inismiran niya si Andres.

Wala na sila sa opisina. Nasa airport sila at ngayong nakabakasyon s’ya ay hindi niya ito boss. 

He’s not even her friend. 

‘Yon lang— malapit na niya itong maging stepbrother. Fuck.

Tumaas ang dalawang kamay ni Andres. “It’s hard to travel when you’re tipsy. You don’t want people to take advantage on you. Hindi mo alam kung sinong makakatabi mo.”

Muli niyang pinarolyo ang mga mata bago dinampot ang kopitang puno na uli ng wine. 

“Mas matatakot ako kung ikaw ang katabi ko.” 

Muli niyang inirapan ang lalaki, pero marahang iling na lang ang iginanti nito at may sinusupil na ngiti sa mga labi. 

“What are you smiling about?” masungit niyang tanong kay Andres.

“Wala. Why are you so cranky? Wala ka pa namang jetlag.”

Hindi na niya ito pinatulan. At nang mainip ay wala sa loob na nagtanong. 

“Who’s your plus one?” 

“I don’t have one. Ikaw?” 

“Ayaw kong maging plus one mo.” Sunod-sunod ang pagsusungit niya pero hindi mapigil ang sarili. Naiinis pa rin s’ya sa kanyang ina. She lied to her. Ainara thought she was just marrying some random guy. Pero bakit si Jaime? Kilala ito ng kanyang ama. 

Napatawa si Andres sa isinagot niya. At nang bumuntong hininga ito ay kasabay ang pagtaas ng kamay. Inabot nito ang ilang hibla ng mga buhok niyang nakatabing sa kanyang mukha at ikinipit sa likod ng kanyang tainga. 

Ainara felt something. Daig pa niya ang kinuryente nang maglapat ang kanilang balat.

“I wasn’t asking you to be my plus one— I was asking who’s yours.”

Para s’yang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. 

“I was being sarcastic. Wala akong plus one since I don’t even approve of this engagement.”

“Your mother is a big girl. She deserves to be happy.”

“She promised not to get married again.”

“Kapag ikaw ba nag-asawa at namatay ang asawa mo, hindi ka na mag-aasawa uli?” hamon ni Andres sa kanya.

“Kapag nag-asawa ako, ibig sabihin mahal ko ‘yong lalaking ‘yon. And I will only get married once— that means if he dies, my heart dies with him.”

“That’s… interesting.”

Napakunot noo si Ainara. “You don’t believe in marriage?”

“I think marriage is overrated.”

“Ewan ko sa ‘yo.” 

When their flight was called for boarding, she finished the rest of her wine then got up. Sinalo pa s’ya ni Andres nang ma-out of balance s’ya. Mataas kasi ang bar stool. 

“See what I mean? Hindi ka dapat umiinom. You almost fell—“

Napatigil ito sa sasabihin nang mapatingala s’ya sa lalaki at nagtama ang mga mata nila. With their bodies pressed together, the heat was radiating effortlessly. Napalunok si Andres. Ainara’s eyes were magnetic. Para s’yang hinihigop nito. He found himself leaning towards her and she wasn’t even moving away. 

But then they heard a follow up announcement and that pulled them out from the trance. Kaagad silang naghiwalay at inayos ang sarili.

They reached the boarding gate. The attendant smiled too brightly. “Mr. Bernardino, Ms. Del Carmen — you’re seated together. Business class. 3A and 3B.”

Ainara groaned. 

Andres smirked. “Fate is a cruel, poetic thing.”