The Girl who forgot the Moon

— Ayla —

The city never slept , but I did probably to much.

But it was the only place where I could tell myself what I was going through was just a dream .

My therapist said the nightmares were trauma resurfacing , I called them what it was a curse something I’ve never been able to get out of my head , not since I was young , wolves with eyes like molten gold , the smell of the earth and pine , voices calling my name from the darkness .

It something I’ve always tried to shake off but failed , I didn’t believe any of it… not until tonight .

The bar was nearly empty when the door opened , the cool night air slipped in behind a tall man in black , he didnt belong here , to poised , to still , like danger wrapped in skin , but there was an overwhelming warmth he gave off .

His eyes found mine instantly , my chest tightened the world around us blurred , soundless like I had fallen into a dream , I blamed it on the drink I only ever had once in a while , maybe it hit me to fast , maybe I just wasn’t used to them , one of the many excuses I give to myself to feel at ease with all that happens in my life .

My pulse pounded in my ears , nauseated from a sickly sweet scent , so overpowering it made me topple as I moved from the bar stool , I needed to feel the cold air on my skin , the voices murmured in my head , I needed to leave , then I heard it , a low growl “ MATE “

I barged out the bar door taking a deep breath in , the cold air hit my skin sending shivers down my spine .

I tugged my jacket tighter and started walking , the thud of my boots echoing off the pavement , the city always felt lonely after midnight , but tonight it felt wrong , something was off , the voices they didn’t leave they seemed to echo louder in my head .

The shadows seemed to alive the air to heavy to thick .

I kept my head down , pretending I didn’t feel it , the prickle along the back of my neck like invisible eyes were following me , my therapist said that was “ hyper-vigilance “ .

Apparently trauma does that.

But trauma wasn’t explaining the low humming feeling in my chest , it felt like a heartbeat that wasn’t mine .

I stopped outside a flickering street light, pressing my hand against my ribs , my pulse thudding beneath my palm , wild , uneven , every sound sharpened , the whisper of the wind the clinking of my keys the soft scrape of shoes behind me . Everything heightened . I spun around .. no one , just the dark .

My reflection in the shops window stared back , pale , wide eyed , hair damp from the rain that’s been pouring , for a second my eyes gleamed gold . I blinked and they were gone.

Your imagining it ayla . I forced myself forward but the voice in my head didn’t sound like mine anymore .

“ Mate ayla “

My apartment was just up through the door and two flights up , past three locks and I’ll be safe .

But even when I shut the door behind me the feeling didn’t fade , the hum louder , a vibration in my bones , like something was under my skin was waking up .

I made my way over to the window and pressed my head against it , “ what is happening to me “ .

The night passed on like time was standing still but moving faster than before

One moment I laid in my bed clutching my blanket to my chest , trying to force my eyes shut , the next the world melted into silver light .

The air thick with mist and the scent of pine a brighter moon than I’ve ever seen hung above , to large , to bright , it painted everything in shades of silver and shadow .

I wasn’t afraid , not at first .

Then I head them .

Voices , soft at first - a murmur carried by the wind .

“ it will all make sense soon little one “

The voice was feminine , tender , oddly comforting .

“ you are more than you what you know and more than they ever realised “

The mist shifted and shadows emerged , two wolves , black and pure white , circling eachother under the moon . Their eyes glowed gold and silver , their movements in perfect rhythm .

I didn’t need anyone to tell me who they were .

I felt it .

The black wolf - power , control , danger , his gaze burned through me . The white wolf , graceful , fierce , wild , her heartbeat echoed in my chest .

They moved closer , their bodies intertwining like flame and smoke , as they touched a pulse of light rolled across the ground , like it had awoken the Forrest .

Then a voice echoed , Awaken Ayla , his coming for you , keep him close .

My breath caught in my chest .

Then everything shattered

I gasped awake , drenched in sweat , my sheets tangled around my legs , the air in my apartment felt to loud the humming of my fridge , the ticking of the clock , my own heartbeat slamming against my chest .

Hands to my face , breathing hard , “ what’s happening to me “

My hearing sharpened until I could pick out every drop of rain hitting the window , my vision to , sharper , clear , brighter to colours that I’ve never noticed before . Even the darkness had depth now .

I stumbled to the bathroom and flicked on the light , my reflection stared back , trembling , terrified and for one fleeting second , my eyes flashed silver , and then gone .