If only

"My child" he asked in a demanding tone

"What are you talking about sir? Why would I have your child with me? I think you have the wrong person." I tried explaining. He came even closer, so that I could feel his breath fanning my face. This proximity made me even more intimidated than before. Was it because of his height?

"What are you saying, lady? The child you had three months ago, where is it?" He inquired impatiently.

"What?!?" My brain suddenly went blank. What is this man asking me? If he's talking about my baby, why is he calling my baby his child? He wouldn't be the one in those pictures Ethan showed me right?!? The one I went into the hotel with? Oh no!!

"Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about..." He grabbed my shoulders, though he didn't squeeze them, and asked again in a softer tone this time, "Did your husband take the baby? It's fine, just tell me who the baby is with, I'll go get him..."

"If you were able to find out if I had a baby, shouldn't your informant have told you that the baby died the moment it was born?" I was more angry than sad.

"What do you mean? Why would my child die?" He demanded while tightening his grip on my shoulders a little.

"How would I know? The baby died and that's all there is to it." I stated while trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"You killed my child?!? How dare you? You evil woman!!!" He yelled. He was accusing me of killing my child and I couldn't do anything.

Should I have done something, if I had been strong enough to escape from my evil mother-in-law, the child might still have been alive today; it's all my fault. But I'm not going to let this man talk to me like he had some kind of right, if he knew I was pregnant why didn't he find me? Even if he didn't save me, he could have saved my baby from that evil woman.

"Yes, I killed the child. If you wanted to save the baby, you should have found me sooner and saved the baby from me!!" I yelled, only as a way to hide my cracking voice. I didn't want this strange man to see my weakness, I didn't want him to know just how much my baby's death broke me.

"I thought you'd be different, but all women are disgusting. You don't even deserve to be a mother." He yelled in a cold hateful tone.

Those words were words I've been telling myself ever since that day at the hospital, but hearing them from someone else brought a new, profound pain into the pit of my heart, and I couldn't even form a reply. I let the tears I've been holding back roll down freely, not that I could hold them back anyway.

The next thing I knew he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room into the living room.

"Get out of my house!!!" He roared at the top of his voice "I should kill you right here and now for what you've done but I'm being lenient, so get out of my face before I do something I'll regret"

All the maids came out of wherever they might have been, to see the cause of the commotion.

I stood there at the center of it all, not knowing if I should shamelessly get on my knees and beg not to get kicked out or if I should just raise my shoulders and leave proudly. But do I deserve to feel proud? The child's death is all my fault, so why deny it?

His grip on my arm tightened and I couldn't help but whimper.

After much pushing and pulling I was finally thrown out of the huge mansion. Left standing alone at the front of the huge mansion's gate, I went back to my train of thought...

If only I didn't get caught after escaping...

If only I hadn't gone with Ethan to her house that day...

If only I didn't have a one-night stand with the man who just threw me out of his house...

If only I didn't marry Ethan...

If only...the sound of thunder brought me out of my train of thought, and a few minutes after, it started to rain.

Thanks a lot, Mother Nature, you just know how to mock me, don't you?!? You know that I have nowhere to go and nothing to use as a shade over my head, but you still decided to have a downpour? How magnificent of you!!! I exclaimed sarcastically.

I moved a little away from the gate and crouched down, bending my head, and I finally let the tears I've been holding back roll down freely. At one point, I was grateful for the rain because it cried with me, but I also felt I was being mocked. Nonetheless, I let myself get soaked completely. I do deserve to die, so that's what I'm gonna do. But before that, I need to ask Ethan a final question.

Not caring about my drenched state, I walked to Ethan's house. I didn't have money for a taxi, so I walked. I didn't care how secluded the mansion was from the world, or how long it took but I kept walking until I got to Ethan's house, or what used to be our house.

It was very late in the night when I got there, and the rain had already stopped by now; in fact, I wasn't completely drenched anymore.

I stepped on the doorstep of our one-bedroom building, and was about to ring the doorbell when I realized the door was slightly open.

I helped myself in without bothering to knock, but the scene that met my eyes was worse than a horror movie.

There were pieces of men's and women's clothing all over the living room. I got scared. Would Ethan do this?

The fear within the pit of my stomach wouldn't let me move but I have to know, all of this could just be a big misunderstanding. I tried to convince myself that it was a lie and propelled myself forward.

Each step I took I kept praying and wishing that it was a lie, but you already know how lucky I am with these kinds of things.

I was scared to just barge in, so I opened the door only to create enough space for me to peek in and what I saw shook my entire existence.

My husband is in bed with my best friend?!?!?

How could they do this to me?!?

I was about to go further in when Sophie said

"Babe, I have something to tell you. You know how Samantha had a one-night stand with some other dude, that was all me. I set it up."