Keep your foot on the brake but don’t step too hard on it. That’s my second lesson for the day. I nod to Calum’s next instruction. He is not a bad tutor but my dirty mind is playing a driving kink.
“Relax, Cathy,” Calum says with a smile in his voice. I ease my grip on the steering wheel, well aware my stiffness is from my thoughts. “Alright.”
One look around and I nod. I can do this. We start from our driveway. I drive to one end of the street at a snail’s speed. All Calum does is egg me on with a grin, not once complaining of my slowness. Dad would have mentioned it at least twice. I park at the other end of the cul-de-sac and he claps. His expression is a mix of pride, care and admiration.
Something has changed between us. Something that can’t be put into words. I release my seatbelt and sit cross legged on my chair. Calum leans on the door with his elbow jutting out of the window.
“Do y
It’s today.I feel it before I wake up. I feel it as I sluggishly get out of bed and dress up for school. A chill eats at my bones, spreading through my veins. I shiver.The windows are closed but I feel cold. It’s not cold from the weather but a reminder of today’s date. I glare at the zombie with sunken eyes and pink hair in the mirror. She looks like me. It was a struggle to sleep last night. To act fine. I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to curl in bed and cry but I can’t skip school because Dad will know.Our class group is active with birthday wishes to me. I ignore all of them, opening the door at the same time Calum steps out of his room. We bump into each other and he sends me a small smile.“Hi,” is what I say in a voice so cold he takes a step back. He recovers faster than I expected. A finger curls under my jaw, drawing my gaze to his face. He’s worried and I want to
“You missed practice,” Calum states.The ice-cream and chips are on the nightstand. I’m so tempted to reach across and stuff my face in the ice-cream so I never have to talk but I remain frozen. Calum’s figure casts a shadow on my bed. Standing by my side with a stern frown, he almost looks intimidating. I tilt my head to meet his gaze and my lips purse. In the end, I simply nod.“Why?” he asks.Sitting up, I fold my legs under me and smoothen the creases on my bed. “Will you please sit?”“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” he counters.Not yet. Resting my head on my shoulder in an awkward angle, I’m unable to meet his gaze when I whisper, “I want a kiss from you first.”“Cathy.”His emotions are bare for me to see. He wants to kiss me too but I’m too young. Well, Calum is wrong. I’m not y
Kissing a man is different from kissing boys. To be more specific, kissing Calum is different. It is a piece of heaven. A breath of fresh air after being underwater in the bathtub for too long.I’m thinking of our kiss as I get out of bed this morning. I’m thinking of it as I brush my hair in front of the mirror. I’m thinking of it as I reply to all the chats from last night. I’m still thinking of it as I hear the sound of his door opening. He’s ready.My door opens before he knocks. My gaze is on his heavenly lips. I step aside and he walks in. It’s less than a hair’s breadth between us, causing the hairs on my skin to stand. I need another kiss. Once our eyes meet, I know he’s also thinking about the kiss.“Can I kiss you?” I ask because I know he won’t.It’s evident in his eyes that Calum wants this too but he replies, “That was a birthday gift.”
I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I smile throughout all my classes. On my way to the cafeteria, someone crashes into me. She lets out a string of apologies and the only thing I can do is smile, joining her to pick up her textbooks.The girls are already at our table when I enter the cafeteria. We have an addition today. Lucien. I stifle a groan when Taylor kisses him. Sadly, she is officially off the single girls club. I scan the hall for Jackson. If Lucien is eating here, then Jackson should be around the corner, probably waiting for an invitation he wouldn’t be getting anytime soon.On cue, Jackson waves at me from his table. I wave back. He motions for me to join them but I point at our table a few inches away. I quicken my pace when he jumps out of his seat. That boy doesn’t get the hint.“Cathy, wait up!”The cafeteria falls quiet and unwanted eyes turn in my direction. Yeah, Ja
Calum doesn’t come for practice. Mr Prescott is a good choirmaster but I want Calum. I need him. In his absence, we do things differently today. Mr Prescott merges the three of us—me, Regina and Christie with the rest of the choir.I’m half-singing my lungs out. By the end of practice, I’m ready to bolt out of here and find him. But I need a ride. With Rose close on my heels, we start for her car. There’s a text from him waiting on my phone. He better have a good explanation.Rose drives out of the parking lot. I unlock my phone and put on the radio to discourage her from striking up a conversation. Calum’s text is from an hour ago. He knew he wouldn’t be here for practice, so why didn’t he say that earlier?C: Sweetheart, you’re going home with Rose today.A smile fights its way to my lips. Fuck him and his text. He can’t bribe me with sweet names.Me: Why? Where are you
I wake up alone in my bed.The coldness of the pendant against my chest unlocks the memories from last night. Calum sang another song and my heart is convinced he did it because the lyrics are a true reflection of his feelings for me. Mine as well. I need him to warm these lonely nights and more than that, I need him to just be mine. Be the person I can always talk to.What if Calum loves me? I want him to love me, to see me as an adult. Halting in front of the mirror, I open the locket and tears shimmer in my eyes. My knees weaken and I place the necklace beside the snow globe.I couldn’t have asked for better birthday gifts. If I want to keep him happy, I should start getting ready for school instead of gawking at my gifts.A tiny wave of guilt stabs me in the chest when I spot Jackson’s bracelet sitting between my makeup kit. I slide the gift into its box with a mental note to return it to him. In the shower and alone with
I grow the balls to talk to Jackson after my last class. His smile grows bigger as I approach him in the lot. My nerves tangle in a bigger knot and I nearly run back into the school. I can’t do this.Picturing Calum’s face gives me the courage to complete the short distance between us. Once I’m within touching reach, Jackson hugs me tight. I hug him back because it feels right and it’s the least I can do. He steps back with an arm on my shoulder, a wide grin splitting his lips.“So? Have you thought about it?” he asks.Looking around the parking lot to make sure we are alone, I nod. I asked us to meet here so Calum won’t see us. I’ll have to explain to him later why I was late to choir practice but it’s worth it. Even if my dearest stepbrother doesn’t say it or acts unbothered, he’s jealous. I like that he’s jealous. I like to think it’s because he loves me so he can&
CALUMI’m writing a song for my stepsister when the door creaks. Someone knocks and a smile curls my lips. I shove the notepad into my bag before crossing over to the door to open it. I don’t want Cathy to see it until it’s done. If I ever get done with it.The person at the door is not Cathy. It’s my mum. My smile drops. She flashes me a smile and I move back for her to enter inside. Cathy was supposed to be here for rehearsal. I haven’t told her yet but she will be taking the solo. Not only because she has my heart but because she has earned her place as the solo singer. Among all three, she’s the best.My mum walks over to my laptop opened on the desk. She picks up the notepad before I can stop her. Yes, she can be nosy. But her nosiness saved my life once so I can’t complain. I sit on the bed while she reclines on my chair. A glint creeps into her eyes as she scours my notepad.“You’re wr