Chapter 1

Timothy Ruiz

(One month ago.)

“Utos galing sa taas, pinadala na raw sa address mo lahat ng files,” ani ni Gio. People in the organization knows him as Leonas but we prefer to call each other by our name whenever it's just the two of us.

Lumaki kami nang magkasama, sabay kaming namulat sa mundo na inilaan para saamin. We learned how to shoot a gun at an early age, we learned the cruelty of the world from our very own family. We learned that there's no softness and tenderness for people like us, for people who hurt others for survival.

His whole family died in an attack, leaving him alone. My father, Jarrel, took him in. But we know it's not because of kindness. Jarrel simply needs another pawn to use in his sick games.

Tinapon ko ang sigarilyo sa ashtray sa harapan ko. Small bits of ash went to the documents scattered on my table.

“Tungkol saan ang misyon?” I asked him.

He shifted on his seat and lit up another cigarette before answering me.

“A girl,” aniya na siyang ipinagtaka ko.

“A girl?” halata sa aking boses ang labis na pagtataka. I've never been in a mission involving a girl. The organization knows too well that I'm too good to be assigned for missions like these.

“Kidnapping, Gilliard wants her,” he expounded.

What did I expect? Malamang ay kagagawan ito ng Gilliard na iyon. He thinks that he's far above us just because he is Zeus' son.

Ngayon naman ay sinasabotahe niya ang katayuan ko sa organisasyon. It is obvious that he is suppressing the power I have over the organization by assigning me to minor missions. Alam na alam niya na kaunti na lang ay malalampasan ko na siya and he doesn't like it.

I crumpled the paper I've been reading. Tinapunan ko ng tingin si Gio.

“Refuse the mission, we'll only be wasting our time on that,” I said, making him turn to me.

“As I've said, delivered na ang files sayo, meaning that Zeus already approved that mission, plus it's not just any girl...” Gio trailed off.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

“Anak siya ni Viktor,” he said but that made it even more confusing to me.

Viktok is the first man to get out of the organization while breathing. He contributed a lot of great things to the organization which is the reason why it is on top until now.

He got out and already cut ties with the organization and that's why I don't understand why they want his daughter in.

“Viktor wouldn't let that happen,” sabi ko at nagsindi ng panibagong sigarilyo.

“He wouldn't let that happen only if he's still alive,” iyon ang nakakuha ng atensyon ko. Everyone knows that he's still alive.

“He died early this morning, inatake sa puso. Pinilit pa i-revive pero hindi na nabuhay,” dagdag niya.

Cold blood suddenly ran through my body. Viktor was a nice man. I remember bits of memories from my childhood where he was caring towards me and Gio. He was the complete opposite of Jarrel.

Natahimik kaming pareho. Tumayo na si Gio at pumunta sa gawi ko. Tinapik niya ang balikat ko bago siya tuluyang lumabas sa opisina ko.

Ala-una nang mapagpasiyahan ko nang umuwi. True enough, maayos na nakalatag sa sofa ko ang mga papeles na nakapaloob sa puting envelope.

Ibinaba ko ang hawak kong bag sa sofa at umupo roon. Niluwagan ko ang necktie ko bago ko iyon binuksan. I suddenly feel something heavy on my chest.

Naglalaman ng mga impormasyon ang unang tatlong pahina.

Idalia Flo Costaños

That's her name. It sounds too gentle compared to the world I grew up in. Too opposite to mine.

I remember this girl. She always hides behind his father whenever I visit their house before, noong nasa organisasyon pa si Viktor. Tatlong taon lamang ang tanda ko sakanya.

The remaining 10 pages contain her pictures. They were taken secretly from different angles. Hindi ko pinansin na tila pang-uuyam ang dami nito, it's like Gilliard is telling me that this girl will be his soon.

Kapansin-pansin ang kulay ng mga mata niya, kakaiba iyon. Her face exudes a happy aura, usual for someone who grew up with lots of love.

Itinago ko iyon at binasa ang maliit na itim na envelope na kasama sa mga papel.

“Use her mother to lure her. —Z.” basa ko sa nakapaloob doon. It's in Zeus' handwriting.

Nilagay ko iyon sa bulsa ko at pinuntahan ang address na nakasulat sa papel.

Nang makarating ako, napansin ko na wala paring pinagbago ang mansyon ni Viktor. Naroon parin ang mga bulaklak na personal niyang inaalagaan.

Ang pinagkaiba lamang ay ang dami ng tao sa bahay nila ngayon. Hindi na ako magtataka, he was too friendly. Matulungin din si Viktor. Sa pagkakaalam ko ay nagpatayo pa siya ng pagawaan ng mga kakanin mabigyan lang ng trabaho ang mga tambay sa lugar na ito.

Even more mourning faces welcomed me when I entered their house. Hindi na ako nahirapan na baka mamukhaan ako dahil sa dami ng tao.

Di kalayuan ay nakita ko na ang pakay ko. She is serving something on the table for the visitors to eat. Nakasunod naman sakanya ang kaibigan niya na napag-alaman kong Mariclaire Davales ang pangalan. She was convincing Idalia to rest and eat something. Idalia then smiled and let her friend guide her back to the kitchen.

I went near to Viktor's coffin. An old lady crying silently beside me.

“Iho, iniwan na tayo ni Viktor, hindi ko makakalimutan lahat ng kabutihang ginawa niya at ng kanyang anak para sa pamilya ko. Naniniwala ako na sa langit siya mapupunta at mamamahinga,” aniya saakin habang humihikbi.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Wala akong masabi. Viktor did his best to redeem himself from his sins. I wonder if it's enough to erase the fact that he killed people before. I wonder if doing what he did made him finally out of guilt.

Umalis na ang babae sa harap ko at umupo sa upuan na nakalaan para sa mga bisita.

I got what I want for coming here. Aalis na sana ako when someone offered me coffee. I turned to her only to be surprised with Idalia's face.

“My Papa don't want anyone to be sad,” she said as she offer me coffee.

I couldn't refuse it. I could see the the sadness in her eyes, but despite that, I could still see sparkles of hope behind the sadness.

Tinanggap ko ang kape at siya naman ay bumalik sa pag-aasikaso sa mga bisita.

Paano niya iyon nasasabi saakin kung ikukumpara saaming lahat na narito ay siya ang pinakakinakain ng lungkot? Her heart is too soft for my liking.

I wonder what will happen to her once she's inside the organization. She'd be too broken at first, hopelessness will eat out all of her faith, then she will slowly lose all the light within her soul, and finally become like me. Lifeless and helpless.

It angered me to think of that. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pilit siyang ipinapasok nina Gilliard sa organisasyon. She has nothing to do with us. Namatay na ang kaisa-isang taong nag-uugnay sakanya saamin. The organization will only destroy her.

Kahit pa ayokong gawin ang misyon ay wala akong magagawa. They will absolutely cut my neck or put a bullet inside of my head kapag sinuway ko ang utos nila.

The days went by but I'm still watching her. I respect her father too much that I'm giving her a month to mourn for his death.

Pinagmasdan ko ang lukot sa kanyang noo habang nakikipag-usap siya sa matandang mag-asawa. I don't know them, hindi sila kasali sa mga taong nasa file na binigay saakin but I know about Viktor's secret debts in three different loan sharks.

There's now fire inside Idalia's eyes, a sign that she refuse to crumble down. Iyan ang una kong nalaman kay Idalia without reading from the file sent to me.

May mga oras na umiiyak siya at hinahayaan ang sarili na maghinagpis ngunit pagkatapos noon ay aakto na ulit siya na magiging maayos ang lahat.

I know that it's not because she is acting to look tough, it is because she already is. Hindi siya mahihirapan na mabuhay kahit na wala na si Viktor.

Hapon noon nang mapansin kong maputla ang mga labi niya. Papasok na siya sa mansyon nang bigla na lang siyang mahimatay.

I was close enough to prevent her from falling to the ground.

Her body temperature is too hot when I embraced her. Fuck, bakit hindi ko napansin kanina na nanghihina siya?!

I was panicking when I picked her up. This girl had gone through so much. For fuck's sake, she needs to rest if she still wants to live.

I wasted no time and picked her up. I called Gio who was nearby to drive us to the hospital.

Cold sweats were forming on my forehead and I realized that it has been too long since I felt this strange emotion. It feels like I'm running for my life. It feels like it's been forever since I wished for someone to be well.

Napansin siguro ni Gio ang pagkataranta ko kaya hindi na siya nagtanong pa. I was impatient while he drives.

Wala paring malay si Idalia nang makarating kami sa ospital. A nurse immediately went to us and asked me what happened. Sinabi ko sakanya ang nangyari.

Tumango siya at iginiya ako para ihiga si Idalia sa isang hospital bed.

I sat beside her bed and watched the nurse do her thing.

Hindi nagtagal ay tumabi saakin si Gio.

“I already called her friend, papunta na siya rito. Kailangan na rin natin umalis,” aniya.

I was hesitant to leave, hindi pa maayos ang lagay ni Idalia.

Nakita ni Gio na nagdadalawang isip ako kung aalis na ba ako o hindi. He tapped my shoulder, letting me know na kailangan namin mag-usap.

Alam kong nakakahalata na siya. He knows that I've grown to care for the girl, but I refuse to admit that.

Walang dapat makaalam. Besides, it will be useless. She isn't mine to take. This fucking feeling is just a passing interest.

Sumunod ako kay Gio nang pumasok siya sa kotse niya.

“This isn't you, Timothy,” panimula niya.

I know that. I know that I've been out of myself lately.

“Whatever it is that you're thinking, nagkakamali ka, Gio” sagot ko naman.

He sighed when he heard my answer. Alam kong buo ang paniniwala niya.

“Then that's good, she is Gilliard's,” aniya na nagpakulo sa dugo ko.

The veins in my neck must be showing in that moment. I held my breath and gritted my teeth.

“I know,” sagot ko.

“Why don't you take the week off? Ako na muna ang magbabantay,” he offered.

Tiningnan ko siya at tumango. Mas lalo lang siyang maghihinala sa mga ikinikilos ko kung hihindian ko ang proposisyon niya.

I took exactly a week off after that. Nakatulong nga iyon. Sa tingin ko ay nakabalik na ako sa dati.

Trabaho lang ang ginagawa ko. Hindi ko dapat inihahalo ang pribado kong buhay.

In that week off, I went to countless of night bars just to forget Idalia. To forget how hard she makes me just by watching her.

Idalia Flo Costaños

(Present)

Nanatili akong naka-upo. Magbibingi-bingihan sana ako nang umupo siya sa harapan ko. He probably heard my real name from Mari earlier.

Even though his voice sent volts of electricity throughout my body, I tried to remain calm. Inilapag ko sa hita ko ang mga kamay ko para hindi niya makita ang panginginig noon.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” he said with a straight face.

It embarrassed me to know na ako lang ang naaapektuhan sa aming dalawa.

Kimi akong ngumiti sakanya, “No, you can sit there,” sabi ko.

He took his glass to take a sip and I took mine too. Napansin ko ang babaeng katabi niya kanina. She's glaring at me while walking towards us.

“Babe, you said you want to dance with me,” she said to Timothy with the intent to seduce him. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her boobs on his back.

I suddenly felt awkward.

Nakatingin lamang saakin si Timothy while the girl is pressing hot kisses on his neck.

I awkwardly smiled at him to let him know na okay lang na iwan nila ako rito. Si Mari naman ang kasama ko in the first place.

Tumayo na si Timothy, may sasabihin pa sana siya nang hilahin na siya ng babae.

I remembered what he told me earlier. Sabi niya na I could start to get to know him pero may girlfriend naman na pala siya. Even though I didn't give it any underlying meaning, it's still upsetting to his girl na ganoon niya ako kinausap kanina.

Kasi if I was his girlfriend, I would be furious kapag nalaman ko na he told another girl to get to know him.

I can't deny that I was attracted to him. It's been so long since I met with a guy. But unfortunately, he's already taken.

I brushed my thoughts off. Wala rin namang mangyayari, I refuse to ruin a perfectly fine relationship.

“Flo! Halika na!” Mari said when she came back. Ngayon ay hinayaan ko na ang sarili ko na sumayaw.

I was dancing with Mari at first hanggang sa dagsain ng nagsasayawang mga tao ang space namin.

Hindi ko na makita nang buo si Mari pero ayos lang naman kasi I know that she's near when I saw her dress not far from me.

Itinaas ko ang aking dalawang kamay at iginalaw ang aking baywang kasabay ng musika.

I closed my eyes and feel my body move to the rhythm. Pakiramdam ko ay umeepekto na saakin ang tama ng mga nainom ko kanina. An unfamiliar girl danced beside me for a while, we were laughing with each other without knowing why hanggang sa hapitin siya sa baywang ng kasayaw niya.

I was then left there without a partner. Almost veryone is grinding their asses against their partner's crotch while the other are just crazy dancing like me. I don't know why, but that made me laugh.

I was still moving my body to the rhythm nang mapalitan ang tugtog. It became more sensual.

I adjusted my moves to the song. The drunkenness made me palm my left boob while my other hand moves up my waist and down to my legs and up again.

I was biting my lower lip while enjoying myself when someone's hands held my waist. Pinisil niya iyong nang kaunti before positioning himself behind me.

I didn't bother to look at him. The warmth of his crotch feels great against my butt.

Just like everyone else, I start to grind myself against him, pushing my butt towards him to feel his warmth more.

I could hear him utter curses and that made me smile. He removed my hand that was palming my breast and replaced it with his.

I softly moaned against his touch, craving for more.

I closed my eyes while feeling his burning touch. It must be the alcohol but I think that he's meant to be in between my legs.

I moaned again, slightly louder this time when he pinced my nipple. Even though I still have my dress on, my nipples are obviously hard due to my arousal.

I could feel his hot breath fanning my neck until he started kissing me there. He wasn't just kissing, he is sucking and biting my skin, just enough to leave a mark.

I could hear him growl when my hand found it's way to his crotch.

“Damn, Idalia, I want you...” his voice made me sane. The drunkenness instantly fading away.

I immediately faced the man behind me only to be met with Timothy's eyes burning with lust.