Unshatter Me

Gold is fake and real love hurts. But nothing hurts when I'm alone. And you're with me and we're alone. Let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall give you a ball and chain. Its not like me to be so mean you're all I wanted. Just let me hold you. Like a hostage. 

                    * Billie Elish *

The books lied ,the stories were false and I was a fool to think I could find love too.. I was orphaned at the age of five. I remember that day clearly because it was my birthday. Three men broke into the house and shot both my mother and father right in front of me. Sad thing was that they didn't die immediately.

I was left to watch them struggle and choke in their own blood . Tragic ,I know.

At the age of six I was  taken into a foster home. That was after my so called relatives had taken away any sort of inheritance I had left and made sure that I could never get a way to claim it back

At the age of twelve I was left at the edge of the forest.I for one suspected that  it was one of the ploys of my relatives or maybe they were tired of me. From then on,I had to fend for myself

At the age of thirteen I learnt of the existence of werewolves. I didn't have a choice back then, they took me in, Elizabeth and Ben, the pack's omegas, and became my new family. Despite them being treated harshly by other pack members, they gave me all the love and care

They clothed me ,fed me and even educated me . They gave me one important lesson ,one that I would never forget. Mates. They taught me about mates. Mates were meant to love each other, protect each other be there for one another and finally complete each other

They were wrong

I met Nathaniel when I was seventeen. He was the Beta of the pack. Like prince charming he took me from Ben and Elizabeth and took me to his place. He was like a dream come true.

He was kind patient loving and understanding. He made me feel special and perfect

I miss those days . I miss my old Nate. Everything changed when his sister was killed by hunters. 

Honestly she had it coming. Don't get me wrong,I never hated her , despite the fact that she treated me like dirt..

She was dating a hunter's son. Nate warned her severally that he was bad news but she never listened

His eyes that once held pure admiration for me changed into nothing but pure coldness. He blamed me day and night claiming that I was the one that caused her death.

He hated me for being human. He hated me for being me. I tried every single thing to gain his love again . It was useless

Despite being his mate, he never marked me. Wasn't I good enough. I remember the first time he proved me right.

He came home at around midnight with another girl. He never acknowledged me. He went into our room with her . That was the day I gave up on us. Everyday he would come home with someone different. 

One of his girls once asked him who I was and what I meant to him. 

Trash

I cried that day. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down on the arm chair as he ravished another girl in the next room.

I tried seeking for help once,from the Luna of the pack. Why did I do it,one might ask, well because she was female and I thought that she would understand,I mean who would want to see their mate with other females.

However,I soon regretted it because instead of helping me,she made things even worse. She claimed that I was being unreasonable and went further ahead to summon Nathaniel, claiming that I was planning to run away.

That was the first day he hit me,I don't think I want to remember what followed after.

I checked the time. 12:05. Nate. He's home. I sighed and opened the door. He pushed me aside making me hit my head against the wall. His new companion, Lera ,I guess, gave me a sympathetic look before walking in

"I prepared dinner for both of you incase you get hungry" I whispered

Fuck, I sound so pathetic 

"Shut up human, nobody asked"

His words never ceased to sting. I wasn't going yo cry. Don't cry

"Thank you Andrea ,I'm sure its really nice" Lera answered

"I'll be in the kitchen' if you need me"

I didn't wait for his response. I silently walked away. I heard our bedroom door shut. I tuned out their voices and began to hum. Everything's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. I am not going to cry

I lowered myself gently to the ground and leaned on the kitchen counter. I folded my legs and rocked back and forth. I couldn't sleep. The floor was too cold. 

I heard Lera's voice . They were having an argument. I listened in

"You can't keep doing this to her" Lera yelled

"I can and I will"

."She did nothing wrong! She's your mate Nathaniel"

"I don't and will never love her, I love you Lera , don't you see that"

Don't cry Andrea. Don't break. Nobody is going to fix you again.

"Nathaniel"

"I am going to prove it to you right now"

I heard the door opening and the padding of the feet on the stairs. The kitchen lights were switched on and my eyes met with his. I didn't look away. I already knew what was to happen.

As funny as it sounds I've been practicing for months .

He pulled me by my hair and dragged le to the front porch outside the house.

"Nathaniel stop it" Lera screamed

I stayed silent. There was no point in struggling. He pushed me down the stairs. I watched as Lera's eyes filled with tears . If she really felt bad for me why couldn't she help me. Why couldn't she save me from him. Why did she still fool around with him even though she knew I was his mate

"I have had enough of you Andrea" he yelled

I spat out blood and crooked my head showing my neck

"I know" I whispered. I couldn't deny what was true.

"You are weak pathetic and you don't deserve to be my mate"

"Go ahead Nate, there's no point of this anymore . I can't do this anymore.. Its over you won"

"Shut up"

"I finally learnt to hate you Nathaniel"

"I Nathaniel White reject you Andrea Everdeen as my mate"

They say rejection hurts like a bitch, though I didn't feel anything ,Nate definitely did. I watched as he balled his fists and clenched his jaw . He was trying to hide the pain. I was sure that his wolf was hurting when I saw his eyes gleam

"Any last words human" he rasped out

"I'm happy for you'

I saw his claws extend and for a minute I felt numb. Something burnt in my stomach. When I saw his hand I shut my eyes. He clawed me. Lera had a mortified look on her face . I remember Lera following quietly behind. I remember Blue, his wolf. I remember feeling shattered too