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CHAPTER 13
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2025-05-29 12:27:26
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Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 17
Growing up, I am already faced with the harsh reality. I am just lucky enough to have gentle people beside me. I experienced bullying and thought that I was less because I grew up without a father. I grew thinking that having no father made me less of a kid. And that, no kid has no father. If I am, then maybe, I was no ordinary kid. I am born abnormal. Because I grew in a set up that is not normal for everybody.I thought myself as less. And up until now, I carry the weight of that. I will be love less. I will be helped less. I'll be offered with goodness, but less. All things for me should be less. I don't deserve to have it whole. Because I myself isn't whole. From what Psalm shared with me, considering the set up we have — I think it's something personal. I forgot how personal it is that I asked him questions and he answered it, still polite. He assumed that one of the kids in the orphanage is his sibling. His sibling from the other women of his father. He wanted to say sorry. H
Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 16
Being worldly is normal. Having sex is normal. Having sex in a public area, hell no, it's abnormal! Pero, nakakapagtaka na gusto ko iyon. Do I have a fetish for public fucking? What? Kailan pa ako nagkaroon ng fetish sa ganoon? Well, yes. I admit that I wanted to explore! But, hell! I didn't expect to be fucked in a public area! I'm building a fucking name and having a fucking reputation for a public fucking isn't a nice thing. So, I'm mad at Psalm. Although it felt good, and I really felt pleasured by that, it's still a risk.We were almost caught! “Fuck you, Psalm! How dare you finger fuck me in that place? It's a fucking public area, asshole!” I shouted as we entered my car.He was quiet smiling. I fucking hate this guy.“You didn't like it?” Tumaas ang kilay niya sa ‘kin.Napasinghap ako sa tanong niya. What a shame! If I say no I'd be lying, but if I say yes, how will I save my fucking face, huh? We were just fighting a while ago! I was shouting at him a while ago! I found o
Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 15
I grabbed my bag and stood in a rush. Fuck this! Anong may anak na siya?!“Tali, hey…” he tried to stand up and reach for me, but I glared at him.“Fuck you! May anak ka na? Gago ka ba?” Sigaw ko.It feels like something tugged at me and told me not to care about our surroundings right now, I just have to lash out! Kailangan kong ilabas ang nararamdaman ko dahil kung hindi, baka sumabog na ako! Damn it! May anak na siya? Tama ang pagkakaintindi ko, ‘di ba? He just said that? May anak siya! Kaya gusto niyang tumulong sa orphanage na ‘yon dahil pakiramdam niya, isa sa mga bata roon ay anak niya!I know, this should not be my reaction over such a thing. Dapat pa nga matuwa ako, e. But no, I don't have the heart to applause him for that stupidity! I was left by my father! I grew up with the knowledge that my father left me. I grew to hate my father, or if I have one! Nonetheless, I still can't take it!Bakit? Dahil pakiramdam ko, isa ako sa dahilan kung bakit walang ama ang sakaling an
Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 14
Psalm as my boy toy? Are you kidding me? Are we in some kind of lottery? Kasi, kung sasabihin sa ‘kin na pwede kong paglaruan ang taong ‘yon, aba, pakiramdam ko nanalo ako sa lotto! I mean, come to think of it, he was looked up by a lot of people, even the guys in our batch admire him. For what? For his physique, brain, aura, and everything a man should be, that others are not. Well, for once, I want to compliment him— he's good, as in good that he endured being in the same place as my so-called family at our reunion. He knows respect— the reason why everyone respects him, too. Kaya naman ngayon, hindi ko maitago ang gulat ko, dahil hindi naman ito kasali sa mga inaasahan ko sa taong ‘to. He texted me an address where to meet him, and it was an orphanage. He was playing, smiling, and having conversations with the kids when I arrived. “Why did you ask me to meet you here? We were just talking about you being my boy toy?” I was so confused. Lumabas na kami sa orphanage, a
Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 13
“Please print me a copy of this, a hundred copies of these. And please do a financial report about this breakdown.” Our head finance said while stacking a slot of papers on my desk. I've been working for a week now here in the company of Alegre Corp. and so far, I am bravely facing the usual things that happen when you're new in an environment — being treated as an outcast. I sighed and nodded at her. “Okay, Ma’am.” I said politely. I am new. Mababa pa ang posisyon ko sa kompanya nila, at nasa finance department ako. The woman was our head finance. Akala ko ay hindi naman niya ako uutusan dahil meron naman akong trabaho na nakalaan para sa ‘kin. But then, I knew this usually happens. When I was in my internship, with the same company, I experienced this. Noon, pakiramdam ko, kinakawawa ako, kaya nanlaban ako. Hindi ko nabuo ang hours ko sa kompanya, dahil lumipat agad ako. My initial decision when Alex offered me a job here was to refuse her. But then, as I thought about it, may
Was It Worth It Taking The Risk CHAPTER 12
Maybe I live in a life that's not ordinary for everybody. . . Maybe living with only my mother and sister is not the society standard of a family, but. . . Can I do anything about that? Is it my fault that this is the fate and way of life given to me? I can't, right? So. . . How come it's my fault that I have this kind of life? How come it was my fault that my father left me? How come it was my fault that I don't have the society's picture of a family? Hindi ko maintindihan. Wala na rin akong balak na intindihin. Bakit pa? I was already judged. I had faced the circumstances of the decision. I had already suffered. What's the point of understanding it now? I woke up with tears in my eyes. Hindi ko napansin na para pala akong tanga na tahimik na umiiyak nang gumising ako. Masakit rin ang ulo ko, parang minamartilyo. Nakakainis! Naglasing ako ng sobra kagabi. Ate Tar’s words was so deep it took me to look at the deepest of my wounds, too. I bleed. So, I cried. Wala si Psalm
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