Alcohol doesn't agree with me, I knew I shouldn't have drunk anything last night, but I just kept going, I don't even know why. I was talking to Jenny most of the night, but then I don't remember anything until just now, waking up with Luke's arms around me. Even though I trust them all, I trust Luke, to keep me safe, I don't like the lack of memory, I need to keep control of myself better.Luke stirs in his sleep, pulling me tighter against him and mumbling my name. It makes my heart race thinking that maybe he could have feelings for me and that's why I know I have to end this little arrangement we've got going on. I'm drifting off into fantasy and if I don't stop now, he'll hate me and that will hurt even more.Brushing his hair back from his forehead, I indulge myself in studying his handsome face for a little while longer, his strong arms holding me so tig

"Cleo honey, Aurora's here for you." My mum comes downstairs to the swimming pool with Aurora following closely behind her. "Sit down here, I'll get you some drinks and Cleo needs to get out of the pool anyway, she's done more than enough training." She directs the last comment in my direction, a lifted brow enough to let me know shes worried I'm overdoing it, but it's the only place I can seem to shut my mind off.Aurora watches me without saying a word while I climb out of the pool and wrap myself in a towel, perching on the chair opposite hers."Hi." I say, squeezing water from my hair to avoid her studious gaze."You going to explain what happened? Because we thought you were skiving and then it turns out you're just avoiding us and Luke's in an absolute state.

Elias doesn’t speak for a long time once we’re back at the table, just plays with his food while one side of his jaw steadily moves from red to black. “I’m so sorry.” I say eventually. He lifts an eyebrow, looking at me for further explanation.  “I didn’t know Luke would be here, I’ll talk to him. He can’t go around punching people for no reason.”“This. I don’t blame you or even him really. I’d do the same if I saw Millie out on a Friday night with some guy.” He laughs, shaking his head at me and running his hand over his jaw.“That’s different, she’s your girlfriend and I’m pretty sure you’d find out what was going on before swinging your fists.” I sink into my chair, mortified about t

I've changed my hair five times so far and I'm still not happy with it. I've put make-up on, taken it off and put it back on again and now I'm staring at my reflection annoyed that I feel so nervous about going to school this morning. It's Luke. Just Luke. But this is the first time I'm going to see him properly after ending everything. I'm not counting Friday night's episode since it was so chaotic and I don't really know what that was about. It felt like a goodbye, a real goodbye, a final end to whatever we were doing. I need to get over whatever hope is still left inside me that spurted back to life when he asked me to still come to his mum's engagement do. After re-reading the messages I realised he only wants me there to keep up the pretence for his family, he even sai

 One more night, I can't not do one more night with Luke after that. I know it's going to hurt tomorrow but it's worth it because I've never felt as much love for anyone as I do about him right now.That song, my god, I thought his voice was enough to have me melting, but coupled with that song, it was like he was speaking directly to my heart, my soul even and it was enough to make me forget there was anyone else in the room. If it wasn't for his mum grabbing him the second he got off stage I would have been a sobbing mess, begging him to be with me forever. We don't speak as we drive back to his house. He didn't ask if I was ok with going there and I didn't object. Maybe he wants me as much as I want him right now, I'd like it if that was true. Regardless, I'm a little scared to speak in case I break the spell we both seem to be under.