Nina tried to stop me but her grip slipped from my arm as I run towards the corridor where Emperor Aster went. My whole chest is flooding with emotions that aren’t even mine and it torments me to feel how awful it is. That the pain striking my heart is because of something I caused him. There is a part of me that thinks he deserves it though. That he should be tortured by the memories I woke inside his head that he must have buried a long time before. Aster had done more terrible things to me and I survived it all. And now he is being b*tthurt, do I really have to go and apologize for what I did? Am I being too ridiculous right now? Why am I even so worried about him?! I should be feeling better that I hurt him after what he did to me. But why am I feeling the opposite? Why is this guilt inside me making things complicated inside my head?! Before I could even get through the right wing of the palace, Helena suddenly appeared from behind the column of the corridor with a stern, arrog

“I can’t go there without you, Nina!” I complained to her, her face looking as anxious as mine while she straightened the small crumple on my skirt. I keep on biting my lower lip because I never thought that only one maidservant and a Eunuch can be with me during the visit to one of Alpha Aster’s friends who he didn’t mention his name to me. I have a feeling it will be a long journey because Nina packed clothes for two weeks' worth and that is a very long stay. Just thinking about it makes me already terrified to think about Helena’s reaction to this. She is supposed to be the one who has to accompany the Alpha when he has to travel this long. I am the newest of the concubines and yet I already get too much of the Emperor’s time more than the rest of the ladies. Nina was already told that it would be Cecil who would accompany me as my handmaiden throughout the trip and that made us both stressed because I am never used to being that far from Nina. Since I was a child she has always

The dining room is one-quarter the size of the dining hall in the palace. The structure is humbly made of wood just like the rest parts of the building and the windows are tall and wide and made of glass so we are all able to see the beauty of the forest outside through the thin, sheer, white curtain hanging down from it.The table was set plain but the food made it so special. There is pork with potato stews and roasted chicken which are my favorite! My stomach rumbled when Elsie placed the strawberry cake in the middle of the table. I feel like my eyes glimmered. I got annoyed when Aster spoke, “Dessert after dinner, Eodelle. Sit down so we could have a rest early tonight. We will leave before the sun appears tomorrow.”I just gave him an annoyed look and he squinted his eyes at me as if giving me a warning to watch over my attitude toward him in front of everyone. But I don’t care. Since Helena is not here to threaten me with her deadly glares, it is time for me to be myself and ev

The whole trip was agony.I cannot even look at Alpha Aster’s eyes after what happened last night. Cecil advised me not to apologize to the caretakers of the inn because a lady of the Headow Stronghold like me shouldn’t apologize to people like them.To lessen the damage I did since last night, I chose not to say any word or even talk to anyone, even Cecil until we started to travel toward the next kingdom where we are heading. The weather is not as pleasant as my mood. It has been drizzling all morning and the sky is dark and cloudy, giving a more heavy atmosphere to all of us, especially Alpha Aster who is sitting in front of me with his eyes looking so dark and bored. Just like I am, he is trying not to throw any short glances at me while propping his head on his hand and glaring outside the carriage.He is really upset with what happened last night. The moment we had last night was so perfect. I was ready to give myself to him, to be marked by the youngest Emperor of this Region

I had all the chance to end the Emperor’s life.It is a good plan though. Slit his pretty neck open, disguise me and run away from this place where no one knows me. I could have made it to the forest before the dawn breaks. And then I could live my life the way I want, away from his threats and the people that want me dead.Perhaps, if I did it, I might have reached the forest before dawn breaks. Maybe I could live near the river or make a small hut there. Nina taught me how to use a gun. I can hunt animals. But when will that peaceful life last? In this Kingdom that is surrounded by forests, I might encounter poachers and hunters. A forest is not a woman’s place, especially for someone like me who could easily catch someone’s attention because of my face. And not just dangerous men I should be fearing of. What about wolves? Flesh-eating beasts in this part of the region? I heard there are too many bears living in the forest that’s why the carriage that they prepared for us to use wa