A modern tale about two young boys who find their love to hard to pursue. Xavier is a trotted over teen who finds purpose in creating poetry and art. His family is cold and distant. He hopes for a better future at his new school but things turn for the worse when he falls for the popular guy, Cole. Xavier has one friend though, the voice in his head, but for poor Xavier this is complimented with the dark voices that almost always over power and rule Xavier's world. Xavier isn't fitting in too well at his new school and his new found love for popular boy Cole, turns his quiet life upside down. He finds support in no one and finds it difficult to trust anyone who offers a hand. Everything around him betrays him and leaves. If everyone leaves, is there ever a chance someone will stay?Trigger Warning: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, abuse, violence.
View More"I can't do this anymore!" A loud smash echoed from downstairs from the living room.
"He is a freak! I can't have him living in our household!"
"He brings disgrace to our family name."
Xavier stayed in his dark room. Curled up in a ball. Wishing he was someone else. But he wasn't, and he can't change that. He sobbed quietly, not wanting his family to hear.
"Look at the time! It's 2:12 in the fucking morning! I need to go to work in the morning and we've wasted fucking two hours arguing about him. I'm going to bed." The man stormed off into the master bedroom, followed by the woman.
Xavier checked the glowing green light which showed the time on his alarm clock.
"Oh." He said quietly to himself. Xavier had school tomorrow so he better get some sleep. He got up, knowing it was safe to do so, as he heard his parent snore. He got undressed and put on his pajamas and crawled into bed. He let the darkness take over.
'Beep! Beep! Beep!'
The sound shook Xavier awake. He rubbed his eyes. School time. He got ready to get out of bed and start another boring, disappointing and melancholic day.
"Xavier?" He turned towards where the voice came from. His mother was standing at the door.
"Yeah?" He mumbled.
"This might be a bit of a shock, but, today, you are going to a new school." She explained with a nervous look on her face.
A new school? New friends maybe? New people that actually might be interested in hearing me? Xavier thought.
"Oh." He said, slightly cheery.
"Sorry." She said.
"No no, it's all good, thanks." Xavier said with a meek smile. The smile that doesn't come out very often. The one that hides behind his face, the one which wants to be free.
"Oh okay." His mother said, slightly shocked at her son's rare smile. It almost scared her a little.
His mother closed the door, and with that Xavier laughed and got up, excited for his new school. He exited his room and entered the bathroom, which was just next door. Xavier looked at his reflection in the mirror. He sighed.
"Can I change myself?" He mumbled.
"No. You are fine just the way you are Xavier." The voice responded.
"He doesn't like me." Xavier said, getting out his toothbrush.
"I know."
"It really takes it's toll. I think about it so much. Maybe if I were different he'd like me, treat me like I am normal. I wish I was normal." Xavier finished brushing his hair and left to go get dressed for school. He was in his second last year of school. He was scared. Life was moving to quickly for the boy. He wasn't ready.
"Black jacket." The voice suggested.
"You think?" He replied, holding up the black hoodie to his body.
"Yeah."
"Come on Xavier! We are going to be late!" His mother called from downstairs. He put on the jacket and went downstairs equipped with all his school essentials.
"Have this apple, let's start to drive." His mother chucked him an apple which he skillfully caught before they both entered the car.
"Where's dad?" Xavier asked quietly as he munched on the apple, which quickly filled him up. His stomach was small, it had to be if Xavier would skip meals often.
"Oh, he had to go to work, early." She said. Xavier noticed something. Her voice. She never seemed so upset to talk about her husband. Xavier decided not to question anything but deep inside him, he could see the hurt and anger radiating from her chest.
Minutes later, Xavier's mother broke the silence.
"We are here." She said. Stopping the car.
Xavier got out. Slightly eager to meet new people but terrified of the potential rejection and new set of bullies. He waved his mother goodbye and watched her drive away.
An uneasy feeling hit Xavier right in the stomach.
'This isn't going to be easy'
'I know.'
'They are not going to want to interact with you.'
'I really don't need you right now.'
Xavier put his hoodie over his head and entered the school grounds. Random people stared, they whispered. It weighed him down. He had no idea where he was going, people going left and right, he needed some space to breathe. He wanted to ask someone where the bathroom was, but he didn't want to talk. Xavier checked his watch.
"8:10am." He said.
"You have like 30 minutes before class." The voice responded.
"Okay."
With that, Xavier put his earphones in and looked for the bathroom.
In the middle of a song, Xavier's earphones were teared from his ears. He looked up to see a tough face. One very much different to his own small and delicate features. This man's face looked rugged and handsome on the surface, but under the surface, his scars revealed darkness and pure evil, like he had no soul.
"So..." The rough looking guy asked, quite sternly. It made Xavier blush.
'What does he want?' Xavier asked himself.
"What?" Xavier softly responded to him.
"Look on the fucking ground!" The guy gestured towards the floor.
"Oh."
The professional tone of the young adult's psychiartrist echoes. Her hooded eyes scan the room. The bedroom. What was supposed to be a sanctuary was just a reminder. A reminder that she was still alive and would wake up in the same place every, single, day.Change was needed. But change was too scary, too hard, too risky. The young adult saunters cautiously around the room. Cautiously being the keyword. You are too careful. You are just existing.But things were worse and could, at any moment without her knowing become worse again. So maybe being careful was her only choice.Her eyes caught on an object, an old friend. Her doctor's voice repeating, 'bring something to me next session, something that helped you get better'. She was far from better, but was a little further from worse.Her fingers tightened around the object, and her scars tingled. The ghostly pain she inflicted on herself months ago taunted her but she
Cole P.O.V. I walked home from the hospital that night. Hal offered me a ride, but he has already done too much. An uncomfortable moisture hung about in the air. The streets were empty but they felt crowded. Like he was there, he was everywhere. The grass reminded me of him. The grey clouds screamed his name. Yet he wasn't here. I finally reach the front door of my house. My mum opens the door. I stare at her jolly face, for a moment I feel like yelling at her. Ignorant. How could she be happy right now? But I bite my tongue, she doesn't know Cole. I give her a brief grin, lips tight in a line before heading up to my room. The house feels empty. Yet the couch, I swear I could smell him and see the dint in the cushion his body left. I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to see the kitchen. Clean. Whatever happened to yesterday? Did yesterday even happen? I lower my eyes and head off to my room and close the door behind me. "Xavier?" I call out. Yes?"I'm sorry." I respond. I hea
Xavier's P.O.V.All the memories from last night are rushing through my mind. The intense hurt, love and peace that coursed through me was unmatchable. I could feel myself laying on a comfy bed. Cole's. He took me back inside. Hopefully we can patch things up. The sun seemed to be shining straight down on me, through the curtains, it was so bright. The birds, they were chirping.But I as I listened closer, something about the bird's chirps were weird, they were so... perfectly spread out from each other. So automated. I listen closely. It doesn't sound like birds anymore, more like a monitor or a system, a familiar sound. A haunting sound.I open my eyes. The sun is right above my eyes, blinding me so. I open my eyes again, squinting to make out the light source above me.Wait... that isn't a sun... it's a light, attached to a ceiling. I look t
Xavier's P.O.V.We freeze. I just hang where I am. Time stops and his warm touch turns cold and feels invasive. Blinking, I step away, my nose burns as well as my eyes. My eyes trained on a distant spot in front of me.My arms were stretched out in front of me, I felt like a stone statue, or rather, the statues in Pompeii. Burnt and frozen.Cole's posture thaws and I see his slight movement. I lift my wide eyes towards his hooded ones. His mouth contorted in regret and guilt. For the first time, I see the ugliness of him. Even through my blurry and shaky vision, his features seem sharp and painted with a cruel brush. Like my whole body realised, my skin feels hot but cold. Shrouded in this greyness of betrayal and hurt, like no other."I'm sorry." He mouths. His voice is too distant for me to hear. Muffled. Like I was under water. Everything was slow, stilll and quiet. But the excruciating pain was deafening and all I co
Cole's P.O.V.I wake up feeling excited, butterflies swirl in my stomach. I creep out of bed carefuly, trying not to pulll the blankets off Xavier's sleeping body.I walk into the bathroom and freshen up, it's been two weeks coming. Today, is going to be Xavier's day. His condition is deteriorating. Each day that he wakes up, his jaw becomes more defined and his face hollow. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at this deathly person before me. His skin is getting as white as the moon that shines in our bedroom at night and illuminates his ghostly face.On the outside, he wasn't the Xavier I knew and it hurt me that I could find him resistable. It really hurt.Sometimes I my eyes will open and my heart would leap into my mouth.Is he dead? I keep on asking myself at night when I wak
Cole's P.O.V.I tear my mind away from these dangerous thoughts and took in my surrondings."A music store..." I exhale in wonderment. Xavier and music huh? Why did I never know this? It hurt a little and only made those dangerous thoughts stronger. "Come." Hal smiled and walked into the store.Instruments were hung and some were laid on the floor. I saw a drum set and was instantly taken back to my childhood. I stopped and just admired them. Hal noticed and stood next to me, he had a lopsided smile playing on his face."Are you a drummer?" He asks, hands in his pockets. I raise my eyebrows. "I thought I was going to be." I admit. I look back up at Hal, my heart pounds a little faster. He turns his head to the drums. "Not too late." With that he continues strolling down the aisle leaving me feeling a whirlpool of emotions I've never felt before. It scared me.I didn't know if I was just phsyically attracted
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