The Laughing Policeman

I was touching myself in front of the teddy bear on my bed, because I knew a man was watching behind its eyes. He had sneaked into my home, lay on the bed where I slept, and left traces of himself on my clothes. When I noticed, he watched as I hid in a corner, trembling… not knowing that I had been waiting for him for a long time.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Dad was terrified of being laughed at. Every holiday, he only ever said one thing. “Do not embarrass me.” The relatives were sitting around chatting when I accidentally knocked over a fruit platter on the table. He grabbed me right there and slapped me across the face. At dinner, I reached for a second helping of pot roast, and he kicked my chair out from under me. Later, when it was time to hand out gift cards, Uncle Ray miscounted and came up one short. Without a word, Dad shoved me out into the hallway in nothing but a thin shirt. The cold cut straight through me. I pounded on the door while I cried and apologized. He did not make a sound. He turned to Uncle Ray with an apologetic smile and said, “Sorry about that. I guess I have not taught this kid any manners.” He did not know that his lessons had already conditioned me to flinch at the phrase “laughed at.” Every time I heard it, I froze and felt myself shut down. When I heard him say it again through the closed door, I turned in silence and walked toward the dark bridge at the edge of the neighborhood. I did not know what I planned to do. I only knew I wanted the noise in my head to stop. I reached the railing and stared at the water below. One thought crossed my mind. “Dad, this time, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again.”

I’m a Straight Police Officer, but I’m falling for a 19-year-old JOCK! Officer Langdon Never in a million years did I imagine that stopping a speeding car one morning would thrust me into a wild encounter that would change the trajectory of my entire life. When I pulled over Tristan, a 6'9 African American college basketball player who also happened to be a rich bad boy who had no regard for the law, I didn’t anticipate that his muscular frame that oozed sex appeal and deep voice would have me weak in the knees and questioning my sexuality. His flirtation and bribe to perform a naughty and forbidden favor for me if I ripped up the ticket, threw me into a world of unexpected passion, shaking up my mediocre, repetitive and mundane life. This steamy escapade pushed me to explore my desires in ways I never thought possible and awakened feelings I didn't know existed . There are just a few problems: 1. I’m still in love with my live in ex-girlfriend. 2. This Jock’s dad is a future politician and homophobe and extremely controlling. 3. My ex-girlfriend’s brother is my boss, The Police Chief. And now I have to decide, between by my ex-girlfriend, my children, my job, or Tristan.

“Sir, I beg you to let me go! Don’t touch me! No!” My voice broke into sobs. The stranger forced me into an uncomfortable position. I wanted to fight back, but he was too strong. Out of shame and confusion, I did everything I could to free myself from his grasp. However, the more I fought back, the more unsettled I became. Eventually, I lost my rationality.

My father loved silence. He believed noise was the mark of lesser people, so he installed a decibel meter in our home. Speaking above 40 decibels meant that we would have to pay him 10 dollars, laughing above 60 decibels meant 50 dollars, and crying or throwing a tantrum was a serious offense at 100 dollars per second. The year I turned four, I fell and broke my arm. I did not make a single sound. I bit down so hard that I cracked two teeth, but I saved thousands in noise fees. He praised me for it and called me a "high-value child," one that was worth the investment. I treasured that compliment and observed the rules carefully, keeping the house wrapped in suffocating silence. Then came the stormy night a thief broke in. He had a knife and was creeping toward my mother as she slept, and I watched it all from the gap in the wardrobe where I was hiding. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shriek and wake my father, to do something, anything. However, my eyes drifted to the decibel meter on the wall, and my hand found nothing but an empty pocket. I did not have enough allowance. One scream would cost hundreds, and I simply could not afford it.