2 Sentence Funny Horror Stories

Greer was never meant to exist. Hybrids like her are executed at birth, erased before they can become a problem. Smuggled out of the pack as a newborn, Greer grows up human, unaware of what she is or what will happen when her wolf awakens. Until she meets the Alpha. Rurik knows exactly what she is the moment he scents her. A contamination. A death sentence. A mistake that should have been corrected decades ago. Her first heat is not pleasure. It’s a biological catastrophe. One that nearly kills her. One Rurik knows cannot be soothed, only endured. When the pack comes to finish what should have been done at her birth, Rurik stops the blade with three words. She survived him. Claimed instead of executed, Greer learns the truth too late. Rurik didn’t save her because she deserves to live. He saved her because she might survive his heat. And if she doesn’t, the sentence will still be carried out. By him. Dark paranormal erotica. Explicit. Dangerous. Consent under biological pressure. Survival not guaranteed.

While I'm poisoned with wolfsbane, a female Omega named Rita Thorne has accused me of being a traitor of the pack. But my husband, Fenrir Grimm, refuses to listen to my explanation. As he holds Rita in his arms, he tells me icily, "Cynthia Huntley, you're no longer worthy of being my Luna. From today onward, Rita shall replace you as the Luna. You, on the other hand, shall be exiled from the pack." Not only does Rita brand a mark of humiliation on my face, but she also secretly swaps out the antidote for the wolfsbane with something else. She wants me to die as a disfigured she-wolf. I don't want to, nor am I willing to accept this fate. The moment before Death embraces me fully, I pray to the Moon Goddess desperately. When moonlight illuminates the land, I hear the Moon Goddess's loving voice. "Cynthia, you're given 48 more hours to live."

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

I did three years in prison for my wife, Lilian Parson. The day I got out, she handed me an envelope for her company's grand opening. Inside was a single dollar bill. For a second, I thought it was a mistake. Then I saw her colleague, Nathan Ramsey, holding his envelope—his also contained a single dollar. Relieved, I pushed my doubts aside. I smiled, stood by Lilian's side through the entire ceremony, the picture of a proud, supportive husband. That night, scrolling through Instagram, I saw Nathan's latest post. A photo of a check. [Congratulations to Lilian Parson on the grand opening! So generous—100 million as a gift!] The comments section exploded with envy and blessings, congratulating him and "the boss" on finally becoming a couple. Lilian offered no explanation. Instead, she hurried to draw a line between us. "You just got out of prison," she said coolly. "It's not a good look to go public right now. Let's keep our marriage a secret. In front of others, just call me your boss." Then she turned around and liked Nathan's post. I wiped the tears from my eyes, picked up my phone, and dialed the number of her greatest rival. "From now on, I work for you," I said.

Rossi Giraldo is the dancer of a very popular club in Bogotá, a woman who sells pleasure and vanity. One night a physically attractive, millionaire, desirable and, above all, dangerous mobster arrives at the place; She believes that he requested her services to have a night of passion with her, but it was the opposite, however, something very unexpected happened, and this gangster proposed that she sign a marriage certificate and move with him to Scotland. This confused Rossi a lot, but he clarified that he was not asking her to marry him because he loved her, but because he knew that they both had a child in common. And that's when this mobster named Dorian Torres showed signs of not being completely human, but some kind of werewolf, and Rossi began to understand why the son she had at home also showed signs of being a wolf. From then on, Rossi feels intimacy and in danger when she sees for the first time the face of the man who impregnated her six years ago, so she chose the most intelligent option, which was the decision to sign the marriage certificate offered to her the father of her son and move with him to another country, where they would proceed to educate little Thomas as the son of an Alpha wolf is educated. But what will happen to the marriage that she will have with Dorian Torres? Would he ever love her?

It was my third day working as an NPC cashier in a horror game when the supermarket got completely wrecked by players. They stormed in, smashing shelves, looting everything, setting fires, feeling real proud of themselves. "Told you the shopkeeper here was useless. Absolutely trash in all combat stats," one said. "Grab whatever you want. Once we're done, we'll just kill the owner," another chimed in. My mouth was gagged. I shook my head in terror. One of the players sneered. "Begging? That won't save you." No! That was not what I was trying to say! I was trying to tell them that today was the NPC internal shopping day. Three minutes from now, every single dungeon boss in the entire game would be rushing here to shop.

It’s end of October 1985 and the crumbling river town of Dubois, Iowa is shocked by the gruesome murder of one of the pillars of the community. Detective David Carlson has no motive, no evidence, and only one lead: the macabre local legend of “Boris Orlof,” a late night horror movie host who burned to death during a stage performance at the drive-in on Halloween night twenty years ago and the teenage loner obsessed with keeping his memory alive. The body count is rising and the darkness that hangs over the town grows by the hour. Time is running out as Carlson desperately chases shadows into a nightmare world of living horrors. On Halloween the drive-in re-opens at midnight for a show no one will ever forget. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

This book gathers different love stories, yes, love stories. All these stories that I collected over time, that were told to me by friends, acquaintances, relatives and others from my own imagination ink. And perhaps, there is some coincidence.

I had a perception disorder that messed with how I saw and felt stuff. So when I got dropped into a horror game, everyone else freaked out trying to survive— Me? I thought I was in a dating sim. I raised a young fae like she was my kid, fell for the vampire count, and treated the undead like my in-laws. The first time I saw the vampire—face torn up, soaked in blood—I straight-up blushed. "You're really handsome." He froze. Then, low and uncertain: "Am I... really handsome?"