Novel & Cerita Absurd Funny Quotes

“She is mine!” Alpha Casper roared, yanking me toward him, his eyes blazing a dangerous shade of red. “Let her go, you filthy mutt and I might let you live.” Alpha Jake only pulled me closer, his lips curling into a dark smirk. “Funny,” he growled, “I was about to say the same thing to you.” The room trembled with their growls, two powerful Alphas locked in a deadly stare, both refusing to back down. But just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, the doors burst open and another Alpha stepped in. His eyes landed on me, and his voice rumbled with possessive fury. “Mate!” … Kamari had just turned eighteen, the age every wolf dreams of, when she can finally shift and embrace her destiny. But the Moon Goddess had other plans. Instead of one fated mate… she was given three. Three powerful Alphas, each bound to her by destiny, torn apart by rivalry, and willing to destroy the world just to claim her heart.

My roommate blew up online overnight, becoming a 'luck streamer' that everyone could not stop talking about. On her livestream, she only took three requests a day. Anyone who paid could make a wish, and no matter how absurd it sounded, it would come true. However, ever since she started, my luck spiraled downhill. I would choke just drinking water. I would miss a step and tumble down the stairs. During finals, I even filled out my answer sheet in the wrong direction. She would always smile and reassure me, saying, "It's okay. Your zodiac sign is going through a strong Mercury retrograde this year. It'll get better soon." A few days later, a falling billboard crushed me to death in the street. It was only after I died that I learned the truth. Every wish she granted during her streams was paid for with my luck. The reason I died so suddenly was because someone had wished for their enemy's entire family to die. The price was too high, and my luck was completely drained. Then, I opened my eyes again. I was back to the moment not long after she had just started streaming. "Lucky?" Yeah, right. This time, she can be the one carrying all the bad luck.

Seven years ago... I was his stalker. Three years ago... I was his wife. Two years ago... I was his ex-wife. Since the day he left me, my life has never been the same. It seems like I gathered all life's misfortunes - my mother died from cancer, our family business went down, and my dad could not face the shame, so he killed himself, leaving me to take on the responsibilities of paying his debts. I have to work hard to make ends meet. I worked as a baker, a dance instructor, and an entertainer to pay the debts as well as to support myself. I was trying to be okay until he came back. He manipulated everything - owned the bakeshop where I worked as a baker, paid me to give him private dance classes, and made me agree to perform in private with him. Do you think that is already worse? Nah-uh! He paid my family's debt in the banks, so I am obliged to pay him based on his terms. I am Patricia Sandoval, sold to Stuart Cordoval - I am his personal assistant, private chef, personal dance instructor, exclusive entertainer, and on-call bedwarmer for my beloved ex-husband. This may sound absurd, but yes, I am sold to my ex-husband.

I've been caught in a relationship with a divorced man for eight years. We've broken up and reconciled too many times to count. In the end, I tallied ninety-four breakups and five divorces between us. One more would make it an even hundred, but I'm too exhausted to continue this cycle. The first breakup happened when I was giving him my virginity. Halfway through, his ex-wife called asking him to pick up some bread, and he simply left. The fifth breakup occurred when he abandoned me, newly pregnant, on the highway to comfort his ex-wife who was having complications with her own pregnancy. I ended up in a car accident and miscarried. He arrived at the hospital with his clothes disheveled. Despite all the pain he caused me, I could never bring myself to truly leave him. Our most recent divorce happened for an equally absurd reason. His ex-wife and their child were participating in a family reality TV show that required them to appear as a complete family unit. To protect his ex-wife's public image, he divorced me yet again. When filming wrapped, he called to discuss remarrying. This time I refused, because I'm going to marry someone else.

Max was famous for his hardcore attitude and being able to run a mutli billion company.. Max was known for different women every night… Until he meet Asia.. Asia would not give him the time of day.. Can Max win Asia heart?

"Gosh! Adam look!" Jenna shouted, trembling at the test pack in her hand. Adam dashed into the bathroom and grabbed the test pack that was in Jenna's hand. He was immediately stunned. "We're dead!" One year ago Adam and Jenna, who were both threatened with an arranged marriage by their parents, agreed to have a contract marriage when they accidentally met in Europe. 30-year-old Adam, who is a candidate for President Director of a leading property company, is threatened with losing his position if he doesn't get married. And 28-year-old Jenna, who is a freelance writer, is also threatened with being married off to an old businessman because of her father's debt that they can't pay. How will the fake marriage without the love continue? Will it have a happy ending? Or will each of them find love outside of their married life?

"I don't understand how she is so dominant over me, yet a complete mess under my control." - Ethan Brown ********** Madison is a full package, when it comes to being the obedient worker, best friend or sister and pampered for being short and cute, she is also the most protective person. Obviously, when Ethan hurts her best friend, she has all the reasons to hate him, keeping his dangerously beautiful face the last thing, she would want to fall for. But what happens when Ethan, ends up becoming her new boss? Will they forget their past and work together or end up becoming something they never expect.

The story of a budding romance in the '80s through the eyes of precocious but clueless16-year old Nia. She's a petite, fair, fiercely loyal,and talented high schooler. Overshadowed by a popular sister, she finds joy in her merry circle of friends. As the New Girl in school, she's often misunderstood and finds herself in trouble because of her flirtatious friend. Cute and popular best bud Lance would always come to her rescue. Take a trip down memory lane as we see her grow up in the 80s, going through life's ups and downs, fun exploits, bittersweet love, betrayal, growing up, and moving on...Will she finally meet the one destined for her? Or was he the one who got away?

Would you rather live apart… or die together? She survives a plane crash and wakes up in a hidden village with rules stranger than death itself. Here, men and women who are not married cannot be seen together. The punishment? Public beheading. But when she meets Yoké, the mysterious, magnetic villager who makes her heart race, one rule becomes impossible to obey. Every stolen glance is a risk. Every touch is a death sentence. And yet, she cannot stay away. ★Prequel to Till Death Do Us Part

19 year old Waverly never knew her father, she had never even known his last name since she had been the product of a one night stand. Her mom never saw the guy again after their one heated night together. At age 12 she & her mother settled down in the peaceful town of Mansterville and had lived there for the past seven years. Sure the place could get a bit boring at times but the beauty of it all was worth a tad of boredom here & there. All that is about to change when the huge moving trucks suddenly come rolling down the private drive to the large mansion across the road that had remained vacant the entire time they'd lived here. Waverly & Shay had always assumed the old manor had been condemned for one reason or another, however their assumptions are proven wrong when three gorgeous brothers suddenly pop up out of the blue one fall day and move into the home. These three will definently shake things up and bring more excitement than these two stunning ladies have ever experienced. The new neighbors may also bring out a side of Waverly she never knew existed, along with a fair amount of chaos with their sudden arrival. So...Come on folks lets all go visit the little town of Mansterville and watch as this wild adventure unfolds.