And Every Now And Then I Fall Apart の小説・ストーリー

I wrap my arms around myself, like I’m trying to hold the pieces of me together. “I don’t know how to fix this,” I whisper. “I don’t know how to love you and not hurt him… I don’t know how to stay without destroying everything… and I don’t know how to leave without destroying myself.” My voice cracks completely. “I don’t know what to do anymore…” Silence fills the room again. But this time… it’s not empty. It’s full of everything we’re too broken to say. And maybe…That’s the moment everything truly begins to fall apart.

"Everything I ever wanted is shattered." I whispered the words to the empty room, voice hoarse, barely a breath. My hands trembled where they pressed against my belly, and my whole body felt like it would fall apart if I moved. I sat on the edge of the bed like I was clinging to the edge of a cliff, trying not to fall. But I was already falling. I just hadn’t hit the ground yet. The secret I tried so hard to bury… it’s out.

I make it to the bedroom. I don’t even reach the bed. My knees give way and I fall. Not like a stumble. Like a damn collapse. Right there on the cold floor, still wrapped in the bathrobe, face buried in my palms. And I sob. I sob like a man whose soul is folding inward. Like a man who's realized that maybe everything he thought he was fixing… he was still breaking. The phone slips from my hand and lands face-up beside me. The voicemail starts again on speaker.

It carried every apology he’d never said, every absence, every cowardice, every choice he’d made that ended with my world in shreds. I pressed my forehead to the cool wall. Tears came unbidden, hot and sudden. My breathing came in broken shards. Everything in me had clenched, tightened, shut down. And now…opened, spilling. I curled into myself on the bed, hugging knees to my chest. I pressed the phone against my heart like a talisman. And I fell apart.

Viviane ☩═✦═☩ I used to think nothing could break me. That I was untouchable. Unshakable. Unbreakable. And now I was curled up on the couch in Brandon’s empty apartment, clutching a spoon like it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart. A half-melted pint of chocolate ice cream sat in my lap, barely touched, while some cheesy rom-com played on the TV. Never thought I’d end up here.

Everything I've held desperately tried to hold together finally, cruelly, falling apart. And I scream. And scream. And scream until—

All my failures come pouring down, and they suffocate me. Who am I?

If this doesn't work out, it won't break me. It might very well kill me, but I know I won't let it break me. I've already been broken and I refuse to fall apart again.

My mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. But no words came. There was nothing to say. Nothing to explain. And in that moment, I realized— Everything was falling apart. Again. And I was standing in the middle of it. Watching.

I had poured my heart and soul into trying to keep myself intact, but once again, I found myself broken into pieces. I could hardly bear the overwhelming emotions that flooded me when I collapsed onto the ground. Tears streamed down my face, mixing with the remnants of my shattered determination. The room, felt as it was closing in on me, suffocating me with its heavy air. Each breath I took seemed like a battle, a constant struggle against the weight of my despair. And with every beat of my heart, I was painfully reminded of the pieces of myself that lay broken.