And Every Now And Then I Fall Apart Romane & Geschichten

I close my eyes. And for the first time since everything fell apart, I let myself just be. Broken. But not alone.

Uncontrolled. For the first time today—for the first time after everything that’s been done to me—I let myself fall apart.

I whispered to myself, "you have to be strong." But how could I be strong when everything has fallen apart?

Tears started falling again. I'm a mess and I don't even know how I made it this far. How much longer until I screwup. It's always the same pattern. Working myself to the limit, taking in everything believing that I can handle it, and then bang. Just a little tinny spark to trigger me and everything goes flying into pieces. Eliane has never seen me shattered before and I wish she never does.

Something inside me broke. The world shattered and fell silent.

Instinctively, I clutched my belly, my voice barely a whisper. “Hospital… take me to the hospital.” Dario looked down at me, irritation clouding his eyes. “It’s just a fall. Is that really necessary? Get up. You’re not a child. Stop pretending to be so fragile.” But the pain kept getting worse. I couldn’t even form words anymore. Maybe it was the sweat pouring down my face, or the fact that I couldn’t raise my head, but for the first time, a flicker of panic flashed across Dario’s face.

It felt like the ground under me had begun to crack open again. And this time, I wasn't sure how deep the fall would be. Damn, can I get a fucking break?

Adam I stood transfixed to the ground like I was electrocuted. I'm really shocked by that expectation. I was shocked that I had to stare at the girl in complete shock. I could feel a different sparkle of shock run down my spine. I'm still in a great dilemma, I find it hard to believe that she just fell down for the sky. I couldn't fathom how she fell down from the sky. I stood still, staring at her with complete shock. This is really more than my imagination. I couldn't believe this. I stood with my legs, wobbling in fear.

It was silent here. My knees gave out before I could stop them. I hit the ground hard, the impact making my body shiver. But I didn’t care, or even try to catch myself. I just fell to the ground, breaking down completely. A sob tore through my throat, and I didn’t stop it from spilling out. It was loud and uncontrolled as I curled myself into a ball, hands gripping into my clothes as if they were the only things keeping me steady. “I really can’t do this anymore,” my voice cracked as it was barely even audible to myself.

Alone. Just like me. Everything still broken.