Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever Novels & Stories

My best friend, Yara Campbell, got reborn back to the day she was to reunite with the richest family in town, the Waltons. She didn't want to relive her fate as the Waltons' marionette that was trapped in a gilded cage, so she refused to go home with them. That was why she didn't hesitate to push me out instead. As I gazed at Grace Robinson, whose fingers were adorned with diamond rings, and Raymond Walton, who looked like he was made of money, I instantly rushed toward them. There was no way I'd let this golden opportunity slip through my fingers, after all! Five years later, Yara shows up on the Walters' doorstep with a paternity test report in her hands. She then demands that I be cast out of the family. But she's too late. In the past five years, I'm no longer the replacement she had used on a whim back then. Now, I'm the second-in-command in Walton Group. No one in this family can possibly usurp my position from me now.

She was the good girl, the kind who went to church, held onto hope, and believed love was patient, kind, and safe. He was the golden boy, a charming athlete with a dangerous edge and a past full of secrets. When their worlds collided, it wasn’t gentle. It was wild. All-consuming. Addictive. From the very beginning, he swept her off her feet , with compliments, promises, and intense affection. She fell hard. He changed her, slowly pulling her away from her values, her friends, and herself. But behind the sweet messages and stolen kisses was something darker: cheating, manipulation, and obsession. When she made one mistake, one moment of weakness, he unraveled. Possessive. Cold. Punishing. Their love turned into a battleground of blame, silence, and control. She finally found the strength to walk away. Two months of no contact. Healing. Distance. She went overseas to find space from the chaos. But just as she began to breathe again, he messaged her. They reunited. Briefly. Just long enough for her to realize the truth: he hadn’t changed. But she had. This is the story of a girl who lost herself in someone else’s world, and slowly, powerfully, found her way back. It’s about love bombing, heartbreak, emotional survival, and becoming your own safe place. She meets other men, learns new lessons, and begins to understand that what she really wants isn’t chaos disguised as passion… It’s peace. Wholeness. Companionship built on truth. He was never her forever. But he was the lesson she needed to meet the love she deserved.

After losing her daughter to a cruel betrayal, Evelyn is done being loyal. Her mate—Adrian, the Alpha she once trusted—broke his promise, chose another, and left their daughter to die. When Evelyn discovers the truth, rage takes over. One night of blood and fire forces her to flee her pack, hunted like prey. Wounded, broken, and barely alive, she crosses into forbidden land—territory ruled by the mysterious Lycan King, Damon. The villagers say he’s a monster. That he’s ancient. That he kills without mercy. But when Evelyn sees him for the first time, something deep inside her stirs. It’s not love. It’s not desire. It’s something older. Something dangerous. Known to all as a force to not mess with. Damon isn’t just powerful. He’s watching her. Waiting. And Evelyn begins to wonder if crossing into his world wasn’t a mistake… but fate. He sees the fire still burning in her. She sees the ruin buried in him. And in the ashes of everything she lost, something new begins to rise. A bond neither of them expected. A war neither of them can avoid.

After betrayal shatters her world, 17-year-old Julianne Ashwynd wants nothing more than to disappear. But when a glowing mark appears on her skin and powers she can’t control begin to stir, disappearing is no longer an option. Drawn to Blackthorn Academy—a school that shouldn’t exist—Julianne finds herself surrounded by Vampires, Werewolves, Incubi, Dragon-born… and somehow, Julianne fits right in. With her past cloaked in mystery and her magic dangerously unstable, Julianne must unravel the truth of who, and what, she is. But the four supernatural boys who orbit her each carry secrets of their own. One will betray her. One will protect her. One will awaken her magic. And one may claim her heart. But trusting the wrong monster boy could mean the end of everything.

My husband, Tyler West, and I had been childless for five years. Under my best friend, Julia Morse's encouragement, we decided to adopt the child with a so-called tragic background—according to her, anyway. We treated Howard Whitley like our own son and proceeded to raise him for more than a dozen years afterward. Only when Howard came of age did we find out that he was actually the illegitimate son of Julia and a rich man named Alex Saggese. In order to flee from Alex's wife, Catalina Tassi's vengeful acts of assassination, Julia and Howard purposefully lured me and Tyler into riding a car that was tampered in advance. Because of that, we were caught up in a tragic car accident, making us the sacrifice needed for Julia and Howard to shake Catalina off their backs once and for all. To make things worse, Julia and Howard flew overseas and lived lavish lives by spending our money! When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Julia keeps convincing Tyler and I to adopt Howard. That's when I feel Tyler gripping my hand tightly, a dark look on his face. Immediately, I realize that he's gotten reborn as well. In this life, we will never step down that path of idiocy ever again!

After getting his heart mercilessly broken by a maid when he was younger, Cameron swears never to love another. But, there is something about Avery that has him crossing the lines he set. He draws a final line promising himself a marriage contract will be the only thing that binds them together. Will he be able to resist her charms? The billionaire swears to protect his fragile heart at all cost.

"I don't understand how she is so dominant over me, yet a complete mess under my control." - Ethan Brown ********** Madison is a full package, when it comes to being the obedient worker, best friend or sister and pampered for being short and cute, she is also the most protective person. Obviously, when Ethan hurts her best friend, she has all the reasons to hate him, keeping his dangerously beautiful face the last thing, she would want to fall for. But what happens when Ethan, ends up becoming her new boss? Will they forget their past and work together or end up becoming something they never expect.

In the two years after Bradley Vaughn's so-called "memory loss," we divorced seven times—all to keep his childhood crush Vivian Monroe happy. Number eight? Because Vivian got pregnant. "You can't have kids anyway. Once Vivian has the baby, we'll get back together. You can raise the kid." That was his usual ice-cold line as he slid the papers across the table. That night, he kicked me out—said Vivian got nauseous just seeing me. I moved into another house. Alone. In the rain. Even after I landed in the ER from a near assault, he didn't bother asking if I was okay. Then one day, I spotted him at a clinic with Vivian. He rubbed her belly and laughed, "So what if she finds out I faked the amnesia? She can't live without me. Toss her a bone, she'll come crawling." I looked away, steady. Then my phone buzzed. [How did your checkup go?]

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

My name is Ernest Brandt. I plan on traveling to Zamia with my wife, Bella Ross, to spend our honeymoon together over the holidays. What I don't expect is that Bella's best friend, Celeste Fulton, insists on tagging along. Astonishingly enough, there's only one bedroom with a double bed left in the hotel…