Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever

That fateful night changed Tara's life in a blink. An ordinary girl like her married the youngest president who had occupied the office of the president, Andrei Kanovski. The man was endowed with a face and body a woman would die for.  Their marriage was kept secret and was introduced as Andrei's dietitian because Andrei had a fiancée, the beautiful socialite, Stella Tremont.  In the midst of a marriage ridden with neglect, betrayal and lies Tara found herself fell for her husband.  Will she be able to make her husband love her? 

Before the divorce, she thinks he's absolutely worthless. After the divorce, he's transformed into the most amazing doctor of the millennium with boundless power and wealth. Unbeknownst to her, he's the one who's given her everything she owns now, and everything she could ever want would be served to him with a snap of his fingers. Since being average was a crime, he would show her who was the unworthy one!

My once best friend posted a photo on her social media account on the tenth anniversary of my marriage. In the photo, her daughter and my son were wrapped in my husband's and her arms. The caption said, 'The perfect pair.' I commented, 'Perfect indeed.' Soon, the post was deleted. The next day, my husband rushed home and asked me, "Sophie is finally recovering. Why are you provoking her?" My son even pushed me and accused me, "It's all your fault for making Tammy cry." I took out the divorce papers and threw them in their faces. "Well, it's my fault, so I quit your perfect family of four."

When I was five months pregnant, I was kidnapped by a group of thugs. They used my phone to call my brother, Jeremy Wirkola, and my husband, Grant Sanders, to demand a ransom of ten million, but no one answered. I was tortured and assaulted until I was barely alive. When I was finally rescued, Jeremy cried and promised to avenge me. Grant was in tears too. He vowed to get me treated. However, while under the haze of anesthesia, I overheard Grant's cold voice outside the door. “Jessie is waiting for a bone marrow, but don’t forget to remove Ashlyn’s uterus. Just tell her the injuries were too severe to save it. Oh, and get the best surgeon for her. She’s afraid of pain.” His assistant hesitated. He was clearly uncomfortable. “Mr. Sanders, isn’t this going too far?” Grant paused for a second before he replied firmly. “She refused to donate her bone marrow to Jessie and even used the baby as an excuse. She’s selfish. Besides, if we don’t do this, how can I bring back Jessie and our child into the family? As for Ashlyn, she’s my wife. I’ll make it up to her for the rest of my life. She used to bully Jessie with her status, which resulted in Jessie suffering from depression and almost killing herself. It’s time she paid the price for it.” As I listened to his heartless words, something inside me shattered completely. Since they had chosen to sacrifice me for Jessie, let them have what they wanted then.

Theo Oblinger can't be arsed to admit that he feels a bit stuck. At 26, he's in the middle of finishing his PhD, thinks love just isn’t for him and plays the piano at an exclusive Club during the weekends. On a bleak Saturday night, he meets the owner’s son, Sam Wilcox, who might just help him get out of that place.

Emma Lewis is a witty and confident girl who never fears anyone. She comes to the conclusion that she is done with guys when her boyfriend of three years, cheats on her. But what happens when she encounters Austin Williams, an attractive, intimidating, and cocky guy who always gets what he wants and never dates. Will she change her mind and give in to her desires or fight the undeniable attraction between them?

My husband Bill and his beautiful assistant Doris are laughing and eating like they're on a first date. But the joke is on me... I'm here, Bill's wife, watching them from across the room, tending to my flat belly where a little life is now living. Of course, Bill doesn’t know about the baby yet. The news is still fresh in my mind, barely a few hours old. It is supposed to be a family dinner gathering, but I'm never the welcome one but an outsider. Watching Bill take the steak cut and handed over by Doris, his young age best friend who knows him the best, I guess I'm spoiling their fun by telling them now that I'm having a baby. Three years of marriage, and his frequent absences from the family left me feeling overwhelmed and alone. I've even forgotten the reason we got married. Maybe it was a mistake to begin with. Finally, I made a decision. Divorce. But a man came along and shifted things dramatically. And it didn't occur to me that this man was still deeply connected to bill's family. He was Bill's uncle.

“My heart was racing, I couldn’t breathe anymore. Suddenly something that seemed like a mistake became my reason to breathe, to live, to survive, but how could I tell him when I already said I wouldn’t fall.” Ruby Marlow. Ruby has a one-night stand that would change her life forever. Coming from an overprotective family with a retired Gamma father, and three overprotective brothers, Ruby has to sneak around to have romance in her life. She was promised to her new Alpha, Randolph Hill, who is also her brother's best friend, the current Gamma. A one-night stand with Jasper, a total stranger, changes her life forever as he accidentally claims her in the heat of passion, thereby committing an unforgivable act that threatens her future as Luna and changes her life forever.

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Abby has a blessed life at home. Her parents are respected pack members and mated by the Moon Goddess, she has two younger sisters who she loves (some times more than others), and she has a friend who she can go to any time. School is another story. Bullied throughout grade school, she has become quite jaded. After being rejected by the future alpha of her pack, is true happiness even a possibility for her?