Best Funny Pickup Lines Ever Novels & Stories

At AlphaBeta Academy, only the strongest are meant to lead, but not everyone is meant to be seen. A chubby sixteen-year-old Dawn Clifford, a Beta heir, has spent her entire life hiding,behind books, behind her confidence issues, and behind her best friend, Kiara Clarkson, an Alpha heir. While Kiara is everything Dawn believes she isn’t;beautiful, bold, and effortlessly admired. Dawn has learned to survive on the sidelines. But Fate begins to change,when they both get into their dream school, AlphaBeta Academy, a prestigious place for future pack leaders. A party, a moment of courage, and a single act of defiance from Dawn, and suddenly, Aiden Willow, the untouchable Alpha heir, sees Dawn. Only…Fate comes with a twist, and Aiden ends up with Kiara instead. Caught in a tangled web of friendship,and unspoken feelings, a sudden disaster strikes as truth spirals and Kiara is found dead with the murder weapon belonging to Dawn. With this massive twist of gate,Dawn is forced to confront everything she's ever known.

When my best friend and I realized we had been reborn and traveled back several decades, we locked eyes, collapsed into each other's arms, and sobbed, shouting that we wanted to break off our engagements. The entire neighborhood whispered that we had lost our minds. But only we knew the truth. In our past lives, this was the day everything was sealed: she married a battalion commander, Ned Stark, and I became the wife of a high school teacher, Robbie Stark. My husband betrayed me. For the sake of that pretentious whore, Scarlett Wheaton, he stole my university admission letter and let her take my place on campus. The world mocked me as a failure, and Robbie stood by in silence. After we married, every time he touched me, he would immediately write another love letter to Scarlett—atoning for his supposed guilt. "Scarlett, even if I can't be with you in this life, my soul will always belong to you alone." Even my own child despised me, calling me an ignorant village woman, urging me again and again to divorce so that his father could be with his "true love," Scarlett. And my best friend, Rachel Croft—born the daughter of a factory director—was tricked by her husband, Ned, under the pretense of buying a house. He drained her savings and her wages for twenty long years. It wasn't until she fell gravely ill and went to sell the house that she discovered the deed he had given her was a forgery. The real house—the one paid in full—was in Scarlett's name. One of Scarlett's dresses cost more than my friend's entire monthly salary. When Rachel begged to reclaim what rightfully belonged to her, she was met only with contempt from Ned and her child. "All you ever care about is money. You're nothing like Scarlett, who isn't materialistic at all. Your illness is retribution," Ned had said. "Exactly. Only someone as noble and kind as Scarlett deserves to be my mother!" her child had said. Rachel and I both spent our lives working ourselves to the bone, only to end with nothing—dying bitter and broken from the injustice. But this time, fate has given us another chance. I will go to university. Rachel will become a wealthy woman. This time, without us paving the way, those shameless men and that wretched woman think they can still live happily ever after? Dream on.

My best friend, Sabrina Reeves, hates children. She wants a child of her own, but she doesn't want to give birth to her own child. So, she sought me out and asked me to help give birth to a child for her. She even claimed that her child would be my child, and that they'd take care of me when I grew old. I thought she was crazy. Also, I warned her that it was illegal to find a surrogate mother in our country. Out of fury, Sabrina cut off all ties with me and called me a shameless wretch. "It's just giving birth to a child! I can do that too!" But Sabrina started smoking, drinking, and bar-hopping a lot. She could never get pregnant no matter what. After that, her husband brought his mistress and illegitimate child home before kicking Sabrina out. "Even a hen is capable of laying eggs! I've married you for so long, yet you can't even get pregnant! You really are a loser! "I never said anything about you wanting your best friend to give birth to my child! But you can't even get that done! Isn't this all your fault?" Sabrina pinned the blame on me. She slashed my stomach open repeatedly with a blade. Just like that, I died from the sheer pain. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Sabrina asks me to help give birth to a child for her.

The first thing I do after being reborn is dump my devoted boyfriend and immediately say yes to the obsessive man's pursuit. In my past life, my so-called best friend, Sarah Cole, bound herself to an app that could transfer all of my boyfriend's love for me to her. My boyfriend was Luke Spencer. The golden roses he prepared for me ended up with her. The hotel he bought for me suddenly had her name on the deed. The way he looked at me shifted from fierce desire to cold disdain, but when he turned to her, his eyes overflowed with the tenderness I once knew so well. When I cried and demanded to know why Luke had changed, he just looked at me with disgust as he spat, "We broke up a long time ago. Leave my girlfriend alone!" On my birthday, Sarah went live online, flaunting how Luke had rented out the entire amusement park for her. Fireworks lit up the sky behind her in a blaze of color. And me? They worked together to have me thrown into a mental hospital. They called me a crazy woman obsessed with someone who never loved me back, and in endless rounds of electroshock therapy and forced medication, I died in despair. When I open my eyes again, I'm reborn. This time, I no longer feel anything real for my ex-boyfriend. Instead, I play along with Ethan Grant. I find it funny when Sarah opens the app again, siphoning away every drop of Ethan's overwhelming love. I really want to know if she can handle it.

Reign Abbot is a reporter, who is trying to navigate through life while in a toxic work environment with Bethany, who seemed hellbent on making life miserable for her. Driven by ambition and the overwhelming urge to surpass Bethany, she covers a story on the billionaire, CEO, Ivan Hamilton without further verification. The news was later debunked, however Ivan's reputation had already hit rock bottom. All hell breaks loose as Ivan is hellbent on having her pay the price for her actions. ******************************************************** “ Why? ” he smirked. “ Do you feel wrong? You think it's unfair? ” I felt tears fill my eyes at his words. I hated how easy it was for me to cry. If I was sad, I would cry. Angry? Cry. Happy? Cry. Overwhelmed? Cry. And I had never hated it as much as I did in that moment, especially when my oppressor looked delighted at the sight of my tears. I hate this man. “ What do you want me to do? ” I asked, admitting defeat. There was no need to hold on to hope that was not there. Ivan was not a nice man and it was my mistake for thinking otherwise. “ Good, that's what I want to hear. ” he said, standing up and burying his hands in his pocket.

Lerisa Jonah, a 24 year old woman was in love with her best friend, Anthony Gregson. She watched him get cheated upon, but for how long would she continue to keep silent and watch him suffer. Finally, Anthony told her that she was like a sister to him, but when she accepted to move on, he changed. Will Lerisa give Anthony a second chance? find out.

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

On the fifth anniversary of my marriage to Vicente Buckley, he violated my trust by sleeping with my best friend Kinsley Gilmore, on our bed. Through the camera, my son Jamie Buckley's childish voice sounded. "Kinsley, I'll keep watch at the door. I won't let my mom come in!" As if rewarding him, Kinsley pecked Vicente and suggested, "Your son is great. Don't you think about having another child with Patricia?" Vicente responded by covering her face with a pillow, saying, "The scar on her belly disgusts me."

My best friend, Mira Bolton, got into an online relationship with three rich men while impersonating me. One of them was an heir to an extremely wealthy family, the second one was a domineering pilot, while the last one was a cold and aloof professor who taught medicine. In order to siphon money from them, Mira told them that she wanted to marry them, but they'd have to pay her family three million dollars each as a form of monetary gift. After they agreed to Mira's proposal, she used my ID to register in three different marriages with them at respective times. Mira was terrified that she'd suffer from a fate worse than death when her wrongdoings were exposed. Right after she received the money, she told them she had cancer and needed to fly overseas to get it treated. That was how she disappeared with millions of dollars under her name. Eventually, they tracked me down using the information from my ID card. Daniel Newton, the rich heir, asked me icily, "Didn't you fly overseas to get your cancer treated?" I looked very confused by his question. Only then did they realize they had gotten tricked by Mira. Enraged, Daniel had me kidnapped and thrown into a rural village all the way in the mountains. Kevin Luther, the pilot, broke my legs and told me that I could forget about escaping from the mountains forever. Felix McQuinn, the professor, felt that it wasn't big enough of a punishment for me, so he personally removed my kidney from my body. In the village, I was reduced to a plaything meant for the villagers to toy with. In the end, I caught STDs and died in a filthy pig pen. When I wake up again, I've returned after Mira stole my identity and got into a relationship with them.

I spent my childhood dreaming of Daniel Wellington — my best friend’s father, the man who never looked at me twice. Until one night shattered everything. I ran to escape the heartbreak. Now, two years later, he’s standing at the front of my classroom, smirking like he never forgot. I swore I’d moved on. But how do you forget the only man you ever wanted... when he’s finally looking at you like you’re the only one he ever needed?