best tagalog jokes

Inosente sa unang tingin tila di makabasag pinggan ang awra ni Dorothy Sebastian. Pero kapag ito ay umpisa ng magsalita ikaw ay mauubosan ng dahilan, palusot, oh anong pigil mo wala ring kwenta. Parang bata, wala sa tamang pag-iisip, baliw, kulang sa pagmamahal, abnormal, at higit sa lahat' manyak. Yan ang laging bansag sa kanya dahil kung anong laman ng utak n'ya. Ay gagawin at gagawin n'ya ang gusto n'ya. Paano mo ba maiiwasan ang ganitong babae? Lalo na kung ikaw ay nagustohan at natipuhan n'ya? Kahit anong pigil mo para hindi kalang magkakasala. Paano kung s'ya na mismo ang gumagawa ng paraan. Kaya mo pa kayang umayaw kung ang ng gagahasa sayo' ay isang inosenteng manyak? Hanggang saan ba ang pagpipigil ni Darwin sa sarili' para hindi lang magkasala sa kanyang misyon. Kung gayong unti-unti na s'yang nakaramdam ng pag-ibig kay Dorothy.

Malaya will never live up to her name. Hindi siya kailanman naging malaya at hindi magiging. Namumuhay siyang tila daga na nagtatago sa malulupit na mga pusa. Sa kagustuhang matakasan ang kinalakhang buhay at mahanap ang kalayaan, napadpad si Malaya sa isang malayong probinsya. Sa kanyang pagtakas, nasumpumgan niya si Thorin Fuentebella— ang binatang kumupkop sa kaniya. Sa pagtira niya sa mansyon nito, napalapit at minahal niya ang lalaki— na walang kaalam-alam sa tunay niyang pagkatao. Subalit nang dumating ang pagkakataon na kinailangan niyang aminin ang lahat—ang tunay niyang pagkatao at dahilan ng kanyang pagtakas ay hindi niya inaasahang ang binata pa pala ang magtutulak sa kanyang balikan ang nakaraan na ayaw na niyang maranasan...

Kwarenta anyos na si Romana ngunit never na sumagi sa kaniyang isip ang pag-aasawa. Nasa kaniya na halos ang lahat; talino, ganda, marangyang buhay, at koneksiyon . . . kabiyak na lamang ang kulang. Hanggang sa nakilala niya si Vincent. Isang lalaki na namasukan bilang dancer sa bar upang matustusan ang pangangailangan ng kaniyang asawang may sakit sa puso. Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay napukaw ang interes ni Romana ng isang lalaki. Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, ito ay nakatali na. Nalagay sa peligro ang asawa ni Vincent. Ginamit ni Romana ang pagkakataon na iyon upang makuha ang nais. Binayaran niya nang malaking halaga ang lalaki kapalit ang isang kasunduan; ang maging kaniyang fvck buddy. Pumayag si Vincent sa kagustuhan ni Romana upang maisalba ang buhay ng asawa. Sapat nga ba ang pera at galing sa kama upang makuha ang puso ng taong minamahal? Paano kung ang pag-ibig na nais ay makasisira ng isang masaya at buong pamilya? Handa bang maging makasarili o pipiliin na magpaubaya?

“One night mistake that changes everything.." ************ After the graduation of Vivien and her bestfriend Penelope, they went to the Bar to celebrate their graduation. Vivien just want to have fun and enjoy but why did her desire for fun end up in a night of mistake? She found herself dancing with a stranger, dahil sa kalasingan, wala na siya sa tamang katinuan, natagpuan na lang niya ang sarili na nakikipag-halikan at nakahiga sa isang kama. And that night she gave herself to the stranger. The next day she woke up and in another room. Everything is change that night. Her happy life was slowly changing. Especially when she found out she was pregnant. What will happen to her?

Meet the Heroine  Akshara Blanca Tanarya tidak pernah menyangka jika hubungannya dengan Dionisius Patradika yang sudah dijalin lebih dari satu dasawarsa harus berakhir begitu saja karena alasan perbedaan keyakinan. Di tengah rasa sedih dan kekecewaannya, hanya sang sahabat Adam Raharja yang selalu ada menemani Akshara dan selalu siap meminjamkan bahunya untuk tempat bersandar.  Meet the Hero Adam Raharja tidak pernah menyangka jika ia harus menjalani blind date dengan beberapa anak teman Mamanya hanya karena sang Mama takut dirinya akan membujang seumur hidupnya. Untuk membuat sang Mama jera menjodohkannya dengan beberapa wanita, Adam selalu meminta Akshara membantunya. Hingga akhirnya tercetuslah sebuah ide gila yang bisa menguntungkan mereka berdua.  *** Bagaimana Adam dan Akshara akan menjalani kehidupan mereka, apakah mereka akan menyadari perasaan satu sama lain ketika momment mereka sering bersama banyak tercipta. Karena bagi Adam, Akshara bukanlah tipe wanita idamannya untuk di jadikan pendamping hidup, sedangkan bagi Akshara, Adam adalah seorang wanita yang terjebak dalam tubuh seorang pria.  ***

"I'm not yours!" I snap, my eyes narrowing into slits as I glare at him. A wicked grin curls on his lips. "Oh, but you are, little deer. How can you even begin to deny it?" He leans in closer, his breath hot against my neck as he drags his nose along my skin, inhaling deeply. "You let me touch you. Now, you. Are. Mine." I shake my head vigorously, my voice trembling as I stammer, "I... I wasn't awake. I didn't know it was you. I thought it was him!" The words spill out, more an attempt to convince myself than to sway him. His dark, sinister laugh reverberates as he presses closer, pinning me against the wall, his body a cage around mine. "Yet your eyes were fixed on his face, weren't they, little deer? Even as you came so hard around my fingers." He's right. My heart pounds as I recall the moment, my gaze locked on Justin, terrified he would wake and discover us. Luna thought she had everything she wanted—a loving relationship with her boyfriend, Justin, and a life that felt secure. But everything changed in a single, haunting night. For years, Luna had been living under the shadow of a mysterious stalker, someone who invaded her apartment, left unsettlingly sweet gifts, and even stole her clothing. She never imagined that the danger was closer than she could have ever suspected. After a night of partying, Luna drifts off to sleep between Justin and his best friend, Dante. But what she doesn't know is that Dante, the man she trusted, is the very stalker who has been obsessing over her for years. And now, with her so close, his twisted desires are becoming impossible to resist.

Stella means, "The star of the whole world." Cassiopeia Stella has everything she wants. Money, beauty, fame, and intelligence. She's the brightest star of her family, she's the lucky charm of her family. Everyone wants her, everyone admired her personality, everyone loves her. Everyone wants to be her. But there's one thing that everyone doesn't know. She's the secret of the billionaire. She's the billionaire's secret.

May pag-asa pa ba na maging makatotohanan ang pag-ibig kung isa na lamang ang kumakapit sa relasyon? Paano kung ang pag-ibig ay ipinilit lamang? You can’t force someone to love you back. Love should not be taken for granted. A tragedy should be utilized as a steppingstone to become stronger— a source of strength. No matter what kind of challenges you may face, how painful your experience…you should stand firmly. The storm shall pass, too Lorie loves Lander so much, to the point that she puts Lander first in everything. Lander is her heaven even though she is his hell. Pinangako niya sa sarili niya na mamahalin niya si Lander hanggang sa huling hininga niya. But, will someone like Lander who doesn’t believe in love be able to open his heart and let Lorie in and accept her wholeheartedly? Lander hates Lorie down to his core. He thinks it's all Lorie's fault why all his dreams and plans were ruined. Marrying Lorie is just a big delusion. That's why Lander swears to himself thathe would feel nothing for Lorie but hatred and he would do anything to get Lorie out of his life.

In Bannister Academy, there was an ultimate bully named Cahleen Seth Monteserio that was admired by everyone despite of his bad attitudes. However, Shantal Farah Lindzbergh the scholar of the Academy was never attracted to him. They were like cats and dogs that always fight whenever they see each other. But behind those actions that they flaunt to each other, there was a hidden chemistry that was going on between the two of them. The bully that was known as the clever one will change his life for the girl who captured his heart. While the simple girl that was nothing to worry about was having a hard time on a guy that caught her attention. He, secretly adores her. She, undeniably loves him. It was the beginning and end of everything.

Punit Soni has been in love with his best friend Ankita Agarwal since their school days but never found the courage to profess. Whenever he finally worked it out, something or the other happened to ruin everything or to remind him that Ankita probably never felt the same. Or does she?