Best Your Mom Jokes Novels & Stories

To Ginevra Matteo, daughter of one of the most powerful mafia Dons in Italy, the timid sixteen year old who had asked her out on Valentine's ten years ago was just another one of the casualties that her father had gotten rid of, and was nothing but a distant memory. Fate has more than one surprise for her when her father's cartel starts to face issues, and her father decides to join alliances with the most powerful mafia group in Italy, Brave Hearts, by getting her married to the Godfather. The Godfather, Leone Luciano, the same boy who had stood before her with flowers, now stood before her, sporting a gun, a wicked smile and even more wicked intentions, and he was by no means the sixteen year-old she once knew.

Most kids want toys, candy, or a new puppy. Pearl Reed wants a dad. And not just any dad—she wants Detective Alex Ramos. Ava Reed is perfectly happy as a single mother. By day, she’s a world-class surgeon, running the most prestigious private hospital in the city. By night, she’s The Godmother, ruling one of the most dangerous mafia syndicates in the country. Saving lives on one end. Taking them on the other. Romance? Not on her agenda. But when her too-clever-for-her-own-good daughter pulls off the matchmaking stunt of the century, Ava finds herself sitting across from a man who is as charming as he is infuriating. Alex never saw it coming. One second, he was working a case. The next? He was being blackmailed by an eight-year-old into dating her mother. One fake date? Fine. One viral post announcing their engagement? Not fine. Being summoned for dinner by an eight-year-old with a five-step plan to make him fall in love with her mom? …Yeah, he’s in trouble. Ava has no interest in love. Alex has no interest in marriage. But Pearl? Pearl has other plans. And when Pearl sets her mind on something, not even a mafia war can stop her.

My husband is a rock climbing route setter. It's our wedding anniversary today, but he brings his female best friend with him on an adventure to discover uncharted territory. It comes about because his female best friend says life is so boring. We're trapped in the mountains when we encounter extreme weather, and the rescue helicopter can only take two people with them. They climb up the ladder deftly, leaving me to slowly grow colder in the rain. I shout his name with all my strength. "I have a heart condition! I'll die if I don't get to the hospital soon!" He throws a rope down at me without even sparing me a glance. "Luna has menstrual cramps—she never says she's in pain. You, on the other hand, are only good at acting. Think of a way to get down yourself." What he doesn't know is that his "good friend" has already sliced the rope he threw to me.

My sister, Gabriella Rutherfurd, is the richest female CEO in Brightshire. Her male secretary, Freddie Morgan, mentions that he wants to see a real-life version of the Squid Game, so she builds the venue and spends 100 million dollars to make it happen. The lure of a gigantic cash prize draws in countless desperate souls. Even the bodyguards responsible for protecting my brother-in-law, Cyril Harding, abandon their posts to participate. Cyril has no choice but to go to the hospital without the bodyguards for his medical appointment, but he is abducted halfway there. In my previous life, I found Gabriella and asked her to stop the game and send people to rescue Cyril. After hesitating, Gabriella agreed. She stopped the game and managed to save Cyril just in time. But the few players who had made it to the final round were furious that the game was canceled. To vent their rage, they took Freddie and beat him to death. Gabriella acted like it had nothing to do with me. Yet, on the day Freddie was buried, she ordered her men to beat me up. When I open my eyes again, I am back to the day that Cyril was abducted. This time, Gabriella gets what she wants, and the Squid Game is held as planned. By the final round, a masked man is dragged onto the high platform. Freddie announces that whoever slices the man's head off will win the 100-million-dollar prize. When Cyril's head rolls to Gabriella's feet, she finally snaps.

When Wyatt Blackwell, a cold and ruthless business tycoon, agrees to an arranged marriage with the notorious Sophia Carter, he expects a match of convenience, not chaos. But when a mysterious and confident woman posing as Sophia enters his life, their fiery encounters blur the lines between pretense and passion. As secrets simmer and a dangerous chemistry ignites, Wyatt begins to question everything he thought he knew. Who is the woman he’s falling for, and what happens when her truth threatens to unravel everything?

Cerise is a daughter of a famous businessman, moved to the city to pursue her dreams and follow her father's footsteps. What she doesn't expect however is becoming a supernatural Queen and getting involved with two men who want two different things. The world changes and now everything is in her hands.

I, Milly Gomez, had hidden my identity as the Lycan King's heir and joined the Boulder Pack as part of my training. The pack's Alpha, Andy Shaw, and I fell for each other during that time. He cherished me so openly that the whole pack envied me. He promised me a grand mate bond ceremony. I waited for five years, but it never happened. I found out later that the Council of Elders had never thought I was good enough. To them, I was just an orphan who came from nowhere. I didn't want to make things harder for Andy, so I decided to tell him the truth that I was the Lycan King's daughter. Before I could, Andy started disappearing for days at a time. Then, on the ninety-ninth night he failed to come home, I received a message from another she-wolf. [I'm carrying Andy's pup. I will be his only Luna. As for you, you're nothing but a plaything he uses to satisfy his lust!] I found out later that the she-wolf was Jane Brooke, the daughter of the Shadow Pack's Alpha. Andy had been sleeping with her every night he disappeared. So, I did something behind his back too. I quietly prepared my plan to return home. It was time to leave.

Even though I was the one who broke my ribs in the car accident, my boyfriend Jared decided to take care of his drunk ex-girlfriend instead. When I called to ask him to spend time with me in the hospital, he berated me. “Why are you so clingy? Can’t you tell that Isabelle needs me right now? “You’re a nurse, aren’t you? What, you can’t even take care of yourself now?” Heartbroken, I suggested we break up, only to be met with anger. “I was going to propose to you, you know? Considering how influential my family business is, I need to make sure I choose my wife wisely. “Today was a test to see if you have what it takes to be the next Mrs. Carter. I thought you would be independent and selfless. I expect my future wife to have my back no matter what. “Look at yourself now. You can’t even take care of yourself over something so insignificant! I’m disappointed, Charmaine.” The next day, he posted a picture of himself and his ex-girlfriend on social media. The image’s caption was targeted at me: [You’d better think twice and apologize, Charmaine, or I’ll just date someone else.] I did not apologize. I had had enough of him, so I left the city. Three years later, I saw him again in the lobby of the Financial Tower. I was wearing a heavy onesie costume and sporting a full face of cosplay makeup, while he was wearing an expensive suit and had Isabelle hanging delicately from his arm. He recognized me immediately and laughed. “I knew you never moved on from me, Charmaine! Does it hurt to know I’ll be marrying someone else? “That’s what you’re doing here, right? You’re trying to cosplay as my favorite Marvel character to get my attention. “Maybe I’ll consider taking you back if you kneel and apologize.” I did not deign to reply. I had indeed loved him once upon a time, but today was my son’s birthday, and the cosplay was my surprise for him...

A week before the wedding, I got in a car crash. The baby was gone. They said my uterus was removed—just like that, motherhood erased. Grief hollowed me out. I was barely holding on when Jack's voice cut through the room, loud on speaker. "Jack, you put her on a birth control implant and lied about the surgery? That's messed up." His tone turned cold. "I can't let my child with Mary be seen as illegitimate. This is the only way to give him my name. As for Stella, I'll make it up to her for the rest of my life."

Being pregnant at a young age is not a very happy moment for an omega who has strict and not so loving parents. Kicked out of her house by her own parents, selling her body to save the lives of her little pups. A graded student never planned her life like this. And screaming at her top of the lung as for her dead pup was never something Irish has imagined. Going through so much hardship. Irish become a slut and whore for society and her parents. She was kicked out of her home and forced to live on the streets. But Just as the nights, a beautiful sunrise happened, just like this Irish life chanced after meeting an alpha who pity as well as disgusted by her presence.