Best Your Mom Jokes Novels & Stories

A nurse, who has won a prestigious award for her career in the past, reveals a truth before passing away. "I don't have any regrets in this lifetime. The only thing I'm sorry about is the fact that I've helped switched babies for a woman ten years ago. "That woman came from a wealthy family, and yet she intended to show her child tough love. That's why she chose to swap her baby for the one belonging to a pair of beggars living in the slums. "I helped her conceal the entire incident. For that, I feel very sorry for that woman's biological child." At the moment, I'm sitting in a hut amid the rampant weeds. Scars criss-cross over every inch of my body. My gaze remains numb as I quietly apply medication to myself while listening to the news. Suddenly, someone knocks on the front door. When I open it, I see a wealthy-looking woman dressed in fancy clothes. "Ella, I'm here!" She pulls me into a hug, her eyes already red-rimmed. "From today onward, the tough-love parenting is over! Now, I'm going to take you home!" The old radio keeps emitting crackling noises as it repeats the nurse's final words. For a moment, I'm stunned. Then, I push the woman away and conceal my limping leg. My eyes are as hollow as the abyss. "You got the wrong person, ma'am."

"Why did you not die instead of her?" Those were the last cruel words the Supreme Alpha, Dean Blackwolf, threw at me before stripping away my name, my pride, and my freedom. Wrongly accused of orchestrating the brutal demise of his chosen mate, I was cast out of the Moonfang Pack and condemned to three agonizing years inside the torturous Ironfang Prison Keep. Now, the heavy iron gates have finally opened. I am no longer the proud noble lady of the First Moon Alpha Lineage. Torn, scarred, and completely broken, I hide my shattered body under oversized clothes and scratch out a living scrubbing floors as a lowly cleaner inside the dangerous Bloodmoon Gathering Hall. I want no more pack wars. I want no more pain. My only dream is to save enough pack resources to escape to the distant rogue lands and disappear forever. But destiny has a cruel pack law. When a chance encounter with the dangerous playboys of the Alpha Council drags me back into the spotlight, my scent triggers a shockwave across the territory. The ancient bloodline secrets cannot stay buried in the mud. Dean Blackwolf is back, more cold and powerful than ever, holding the Blackwolf Throne with a ruthless grip. He thinks he can punish me forever. He thinks he can break my unyielding spirit. But as the sacred lunar bond begins to pull us together, a dark truth about the broken moon trial starts to emerge from the shadows. Will the Supreme Alpha destroy me completely, or will he realize too late that the banished wolf he tortured is his true future Luna?

Lena Cole is an omega with nothing, no rank, no family name, no money. Just a sick mother, a leaking cottage at the edge of pack territory, and twelve silver coins a day from scrubbing pots in the pack's kitchen. On the night of the Moon Ceremony, the bond reveals itself. Lena feels it. Damien Stone feels it too. She sees it in his eyes, one unguarded moment before he looks away, crosses the ceremony ground, and announces another woman as his Luna in front of the entire pack. What Lena doesn't know is that the Moon Goddess never chose Victoria Hale. The light was bought. The ceremony was corrupted. And Alpha Marcus Stone paid for every bit of it because he did the same thing thirty years ago to his own mate. An omega he loved. A woman he sent away. A woman who died alone. Now his son is following the exact same path. Lena leaves quietly. No tears. No drama. Just a letter, a bag, and a decision made at dawn. Five years later she comes back to Blackridge. Not as the kitchen girl who scrubbed pots for twelve silver coins in the pack's kitchen but as the woman who owns every inch of land his pack is built on. He wants her back. She wants him to feel every single thing he made her feel. She left as nobody. She's coming back as his worst mistake.

My best friend, Sienna Monroe, who always swears she'll never marry, goes with me to the fertility clinic and suddenly snatches away the donor profile I choose. That's when I know she has come back to life too. In my previous life, I wanted a mixed-race baby, so I chose the IVF route. Sienna mocked me, saying I'd just be raising someone else's child. But two weeks later, I was taken to the royal palace of Valoria. It turned out the donor I picked was none other than the Prince of Valoria, a man of eight national lineages. He not only insisted on marrying me as his princess but also promised that our child would inherit the throne. The baby and I were cherished by the entire royal family, so much so that the jewels they draped over me nearly bent my back. Meanwhile, Sienna flaunted her extreme feminist stance and offended business partners. In the end, she was fired and blacklisted across the industry. Sienna spent all her savings on a plane ticket to attend my party, where I would introduce my baby to everyone. But when I went to welcome her, she crushed my son to death in her hands and splashed concentrated acid on me. "You don't deserve such good fortune! You worthless witch!" But when I opened my eyes again, I had gone back to the day I asked her to go with me to the fertility clinic.

I was born broken. My Alpha mother was the one who branded me. She said emotion was a sin. A weakness. Especially for a werewolf. Especially for an Alpha’s heir. The day we were born, she clamped emotion-suppressing collars around our necks. Mine and my twin sister's. The slightest flicker of emotion, and the collar flashed red. My mother would then push the button, injecting me with a diluted "silver solution" to suppress my feelings. But my sister Cassia's collar? Always a calm, steady blue. Even when she shattered Mom's precious moonstone, it just pulsed gently. And me? I’d just whisper, "Mom, the thunder scares me," and my collar would erupt in a violent red. Then came the sting of silver poison burning through my blood.. I used to argue. But Mom always said the same thing. "The data doesn't lie. Pain is a teacher. This is for your own good." After thousands of these injections, I started to believe it, too. That I was born out of control. The night of the alliance's Moon Goddess Festival, Mom was taking my sister to the rooftop party. Something scared me during the day. The collar flashed red, and my mother started the punishment. But this time, the collar malfunctioned. It shot a dose a thousand times stronger into my neck. I collapsed on the carpet, begging, "Mother, the collar... it hurts so much... help me." My collar was flashing a frantic red. My mother just looked down at me, drenched in a cold sweat, and pressed the button for the maximum dose. "You'd lose control like this just for attention? You're a lost cause." She turned, took my sister, and slammed the door. I couldn't help but think, Mom must be right. The collar is red. It doesn't really hurt. I'm just being dramatic, looking for pity again. I'm sorry, Mom. In my next life, I'll be the perfect daughter you always wanted.

Betrayed by her mate. Hunted by her past. Bound to a power she doesn't understand. Nyra Moonfang has spent her life healing others—only to be shattered when the Alpha she loves uses her magic and casts her aside. Fleeing into the cursed woods, she awakens a darkness buried deep within her: the spirit of a long-dead witch whispering secrets of fire, vengeance, and fate. Captured by the blind and ruthless Alpha King Lucien Bloodmoon, Nyra becomes his prisoner... and his obsession. He sees what others miss—her untamed magic, her hidden strength, and a prophecy that could doom them all. But as dangerous passion ignites between captor and captive, Nyra uncovers a terrifying truth: the voice inside her belongs to Lucien’s greatest enemy—his own mother. Torn between the love that could save her and the darkness that could consume her, Nyra must face an impossible choice: surrender her soul to silence the past, or embrace her destiny and become the weapon the world fears. Her touch could heal—or ruin everything.

Hannah Brown, an abandoned, shy, broke and heartbroken twenty-three years old woman accepts life time job offer as as assistant to, arrogant, self centered, cruel millionaire investor, Micheal Capone. It's no secret these two are complete opposites. Will these opposites heal and maybe even fall in love along the way? Read on to find out!

My husband's true love goes missing. He traps me in a cave to make me repent for my sins. "Olivia would never have gone missing if not for you! You'd better stay in there and repent for your sins!" No matter how I scream and try to escape, I'm ignored. Ultimately, I die due to cobra venom. Unexpectedly, my husband loses his mind when he sees my body and the twisted look on my face.

Every week, mt mate Alpha Bruce dragged a new side-chick into our bed. Right in front of me. They clawed at each other like I didn't exist. Each time felt like silver shredding through my chest, my wolf howling from the inside out. He did it to hurt me. On purpose. Over and over. Using their bodies to spit on what we used to be. Then came our ten-year anniversary banquet. He waltzed in with his side-piece—Moye. Five years he'd been screwing her. She wore my heels. My custom gown. Even the mate ring and necklace I once thought meant forever. Bruce stood there, smirking in front of the whole pack. "Don't like what she's wearing? Strip yours and hand it over. And don't bother coming to my bed tonight—she's a hundred times better." The room howled with laughter. I was the punchline. But I stood up, met his eyes, and said, "I want to break the bond." He snorted. "You've said that, what, a hundred times? I'm over it. You begged me to mark you, remember? Gave up your pride for that Luna crown." More laughter. But what none of them saw coming? This time, I was done. Done with him. Done with the Luna title. Done chasing something dead. I was ready to sever the mate bond—for real.

In her third year of dating Jackson Hunter, the cool and proud Lumina Walker took out a secret loan of one million dollars to repay his debt. She even resorted to performing stripteases in a bar. Everything changed when she overheard a shocking conversation between him and his friends. "You're ruthless even to yourself! Just to get back at Lumina, you pretended to be a bartender for three years, tricked her into taking out a loan for you, and used her nude video as collateral. You even got her to strip at your bar! " "If she ever found out that you're the loan shark and own the bar she stripped at… She'd probably drop dead from anger right there and then!" another chimed in. Celia Price was Lumina's living nightmare, her tormentor for nine years since their middle school days—relentless bullying, harassment, and abuse. The painful twist? Celia was Jackson's secret love all along—for a decade, to be exact. Yet Lumina didn't cry, didn't fight back. So when her Uncle Howard called and ordered her to marry the mute oldest son of the powerful Morgan family from Crown City, she agreed without hesitation.