Best Your Mom Jokes

IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO BE HER REAL HUSBAND, WHAT'S THE HARMFUL IN SUDUCING HIM? Charlotte Foster is in love with Morgan, her father's kind business partner who has quickly become her best friend since she met him. Now, at 20, and after several unsuccessful attempts to make Morgan see her as a woman, Charlie is prevented from receiving the inheritance that is rightfully hers, thanks to the schemes of her late father and her terrible stepmother. That's when Morgan surprises her with a proposal: become her husband for a year, so that she can receive what belongs to her. However, for Charlie, money is the least important thing in that situation. Morgan Sullivan struggled for a long time with his repressed feelings for Charlie, the authentic and impulsive daughter of his greedy partner. However, after years of managing to hide his love for her, he sees no other way out than marrying her to protect her from her Machiavellian stepmother. After all, it will only be for a year and everything will be a farce, since he will never touch her. As much as you want. And as much as he is no longer able to hide what he feels for her so well. Realizing that her husband may not be as indifferent to her as he thought, Charlie decides she needs to use that year to seduce her husband and turn their fake marriage into something very real.

“How do you like your cock sucked?” He throws his head back and laughs. My brows furrow. Then his gaze drops to mine again. “You’re cute. But not tonight, Chan.” “But—” “Another time.” Before I can respond, he scoops me up like I am his newlywed bride, arms under my knees and back, and carries me to the bed. He slowly lowers me onto the mattress. His hand slides to the nape of my neck, fingers working into my hair, and he pulls me into a deep, claiming kiss. I close my eyes and melt into it, arms curling around his neck. A moan escapes me when his mouth leaves mine and closes over one nipple. The wet suction sends a jolt straight between my legs. His hand drifts lower, fingers finding my clit and rubbing slowly. The pleasure becomes tight. More moans spill out before I can stop them. I bite my lip hard, trying to stay quiet. My family is downstairs eating dinner. If they hear—if anyone hears—they’ll kill me. He switches to the other breast, sucking harder while his fingers keep working me. ~~~ Chancé has been in love with River Dawson for four years. The charismatic hockey captain is everything she should avoid—magnetic, reckless, and dangerously irresistible. River doesn’t believe in relationships. He doesn’t do love. And according to his twin sister Cortney—Chancé’s best friend—he definitely isn’t someone Chancé should ever get involved with. But when Chancé saves River during a near-drowning accident, the boy she’s secretly loved finally notices her. What begins as a stolen moment quickly becomes a secret, intoxicating affair built on strict rules: no love, no labels, no drama—and absolutely no one can find out. Especially not Cortney.

Daddy Issues Series Tagline: He was older. Forbidden. Everything I craved Clawing her way out of a toxic relationship that could be likened to hell, all Astrid Volkov wanted on the night of her twenty-first birthday was to be alone, but her loud friends found a way to drag her ass to the club where she came in contact with the mysterious older man, who appeared to be her knight in shining armour after he saved her from getting harassed. The connection they tried so hard to suppress fought its way out after a few drinks, entangling them in a night of unforgettable passion. Astrid could have sworn that would be the last of him, but this bitch called fate pulled its stunt once more and their paths crossed again, but this time, the tables drastically spun and she was quick to find out that the mysterious older man that gave her the best night of her life was none other than Jordan Remington, her father's long time best friend. The duo were hellbent on putting that night behind them, but Astrid's stubbornness and the sparks that still lingered from that night begged to differ. Was Astrid willing to screw all odds and go for what she wanted, knowing the risks involved? Was Jordan willing to put his friendship and reputation on the line for a girl he was old enough to father? Book one of Daddy Issues

Kisah tentang Annastasia dan Isaac (Abang) yang dijodohkan oleh kedua orang tua mereka demi menyelamatkan kaum Noktarian dari kepunahan. Ann yang manja dan Isaac yang dingin, dua insan bertolak belakang ini harus hidup bersama dalam satu atap sementara diluar sana, kekacauan dan peperangan melanda seluruh negeri. Dapatkah Ann dan Isaac menemukan cinta satu sama lain di tengah-tengah ganasnya perang? Dapatkah mereka bersatu? Ataukah nasib yang akan mengkhianati dan memisahkan mereka?

My best friend asked me to conduct a blood test on her before she got married to the richest man in the city. That was how I found out that she had AIDS. Due to patient confidentiality and her claim that her fiance would not mind, I did not tell him about her diagnosis. Later on, he contracted AIDS as well. When this happened, my best friend went online and pointed the finger at me. “Maya Sullivan intentionally kept the results of my blood test a secret. That’s why my husband got AIDS. It’s all her fault!” Even my boyfriend added fuel to the fire. “This isn’t the first time Maya has set Pearl up. She only got AIDS because Maya used an infected needle to take her blood sample!” No matter how much I insisted otherwise, everyone kept hounding me about it. To avoid the fallout, I was forced to move myself and my parents to another city to start fresh. However, in a fit of rage, Pearl’s husband crashed into our car and killed all of us. He was later sentenced to death, so Pearl inherited all of his assets. She then lived in luxury with my boyfriend. When I opened my eyes again, I discovered that I had gone back in time. It was the day that Pearl had undergone her health checkup.

The new intern in the unit had to be chronically incompetent. He handled my mother's post-surgery medication and somehow mixed up the drug. He gave her a potent blood thinner. That night, she died from a hemorrhage after her operation. Before I could even accuse him, the intern had his puppy-dog eyes ready. "I'm sorry, Dr. Benford, but I thought that was the drug you wanted me to mix. Who was I to question my superior's order?" Then the hospital director, who was also my wife, chimed in, "Your mom is the idiot for taking her meds without checking. She brought this on herself." I was so enraged that I had a heart attack, which meant I had to undergo surgery in the same hospital. The intern insisted on redeeming himself and assisted Victoria during the operation. He could not even thread a needle because his hands kept trembling. In the middle of the procedure, this medical fraud removed his mask and wet the end of the surgical thread to force it through. I died in the ICU the next day. The cause was a bacterial infection. As I neared death, I heard the intern whine through tears, "How could I be so careless? If I weren't so clumsy, Dr. Benford would have lived." Victoria gently ruffled his hair. "Don't take it to heart, pumpkin. Everyone knows how risky medical procedures can be. You're just starting out, so don't be so hard on yourself." Because of my wife's efforts, both my mother and I were cremated without any investigation or disciplinary action. You would think that was the end. It wasn't. The next time I opened my eyes, I was back on the day Hugo Spencer first joined our hospital as an intern.

When I was 4, I met this guy. When I was 12, were together 8 years When I was 14, I foolishly discovered that I had loved him for a long time. When I was 17, we were a couple. When I was 18, we were a long way apart. I hope it's still you in the next life. Again, when I am 18, I finally met you. In my life, I admit I will lose to your hands.

Lupita is the most hated slave of the Night Meadow Pack. After getting rejected by her mate, the Alpha of her pack, a man who hates her for a reason unknown to her rejected his destined mate to mark Lupita as his. Lupita is now promoted from being the slave hated by all members of Night Meadow Pack to being the Luna of the same pack. Is this a happy ending for Lupita or a brutal beginning for her? Another Alpha of an allied pack visited her mate only to come to the conclusion that Lupita needed to be taken away from her mate. This Alpha would do anything to make Lupita his.

On the day of my twenty-first birthday, I posted online: [I want a lollipop.] My childhood rival, who was overseas, dropped everything there and flew back. He showered and showed up at my doorstep. I vowed to savor lollipops more carefully from then on—they were simply too sweet. From that moment, even after I was exposed as a fake heiress, everyone in high society knew: Jonathan Chase wanted to marry me. When the Sterling family carried out their harsh punishment, the hundred lashes meant for me were almost entirely taken by him—ninety-nine of them, borne by his own body. When they locked me in the basement, with darkness closing in from all sides, his shouts each day became my only light. "Chloe, don't be afraid. I'll get you out," he promised. And he did. He really saved me. He also made me witness, with my own eyes, his magnificent wedding to the true heiress. The man who once couldn't bear to make me wait had, "for my sake", told me to wait three times. The first time was on his wedding day. Pain was etched into every line of his face. "Chloe, if I don't marry Eleanor, they'll never let you go. Wait for me for three years. Three years from now, I'll marry you." The second time was three years later. He looked at Eleanor's rounded belly, hesitation written all over his face. "Chloe… she's carrying my child. You'll have to wait a little longer." The third time was just yesterday. I was just a step away from his kid. He pushed me violently to the floor, his face tight with warning. "Chloe, can't you just wait? Why do you have to take it out on a kid?" Sunlight fell across the face that once loved me, now stripped of all its former warmth. "If that's how it is… then maybe it's time for me to leave too." I said inwardly.

The night Enzo was made boss of the Moretti family, I gave him my virginity. He was the heir I'd been promised to since before I could speak. We kissed against the floor-to-ceiling windows, tangled in the humid, twilight heat... His rough, urgent hands hurt me, but I didn't pull away. Even the pain felt sacred, a sacrifice I was willing to make for love. Lost in the heat of the moment, he promised me a pair of the most beautiful crystal shoes, so I could dance the opening waltz with him at his coronation ceremony the next day. The first dance is always reserved for the new boss and his future bride. I cried with joy, believing my years of secret pining and patient waiting would finally culminate in a fairytale ending. But I was wrong. So terribly wrong. The next morning, I dragged my aching body out to get his favorite espresso, only to overhear the guys joking as I returned: "So you finally popped the family cherry, huh? How was Vivian on your first night as boss?" Enzo's voice was lazy, mocking. "Face of an angel, body of a devil. She's a hot little viper in bed." The room erupted in sleazy whistles. "So, you really gonna marry her, young boss?" "Are you kidding me?" Enzo scoffed. "Vivian's just a warm-up. Once I get some practice in, I'll go tame the Falcone ice princess. When I get bored, I can always circle back and put a ring on her." I stood frozen in the doorway, my vision blurring, the coffee cup trembling in my hand. Before the world faded to black, I sent a coded message to the Don: "Uncle Romano, for the promotion in three days, get me a transfer. As far away from Enzo as possible."