Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

I've been married to my wife, Stacy Howard, for 12 years now. She doesn't let me sleep with her unless it's on the 5th or 20th of the month. I thought she was just uninterested in physical intimacy. That is, until I accidentally witness her walking together with her first love, Devin Fisher, on the street on Thanksgiving Day. Stacy, who's always cold and aloof to me, is actually smiling softly at Devin. Our daughter, Tammy Gilbert, tags along with them as well. She holds Devin's hand while calling him "daddy" in the sweetest tone ever. Instead of demanding answers from Stacy, I turn around and head home. There, I dig out the divorce agreement that I've already prepared in advance.

"นี่แน่ะ ๆ ๆ ๆ ไอ้คนนิสัยไม่ดี อย่าเข้ามาใกล้หม่ามี๊นะ ถอยออกไปเลย ถอยออกไป นี่แน่ะ ๆ ! " ไอคิโด้ทั้งเตะ ต่อย และ​ ชกตามร่างกายทุกตารางนิ้วที่เขาจะสามารถทำได้ "นี่มันอะไรเนี่ย! เธอเข้ามาทำร้ายฉันแบบนี้ได้ยังไงกันเจ้าตัวเล็ก" มือใหญ่จับตัวไอคิโด้ได้แล้วก็จัดการเหวี่ยงร่างน้อยอย่างเบามือ ให้ออกห่างกลับไปหาผู้เป็นแม่ เธอย่อตัวลงแล้วอ้าแขนรับร่างน้อย ๆ ของลูกชายเข้ามาไว้ในอ้อมแขน ไอคิโด้เดือดจัดเงยหน้ามองคนตัวใหญ่ยักษ์แบบไม่วางตา "เลี้ยงลูกยังไงให้ก้าวร้าว นี่กะจะสอนให้เป็นอันธพาลแต่เด็กเลยหรือไง" เควิ่นหันมาต่อว่าเธอ "หยุดพูดเดี๋ยวนี้นะ ไอ้คนไม่ดี! " ไอคิโด้ชี้หน้าด่าทอคนที่ตัวโตกว่า แล้วจ้องตาเขม็งใส่เขา

At that exact moment, it hit me—I was never even a side character in this novel. I was just a pitiful nobody, not even worth a name in the story. In the original plot, I’d loved the wrong guy for six whole years, only to end up betrayed, locked away, and left to die a horrible death in the red-light district. But now, I’d woken up. I knew how the story was supposed to go, and I was never gonna follow that damned script to my inevitable end. To escape and get back at everyone who’d hurt me, who’d betrayed me, I set my sights on a man no one dared to mess with—my boyfriend’s adoptive father, Alexander Knight, the famous “Ice Tycoon” of the upper class. This alpha was cold, ruthless, and known for his unbreakable self-discipline. I’d planned to get close to him, seduce him—even sell my body if I had to—just to get his protection and run from the fate I’d suffered in my past life. But I never could’ve guessed that the second I stepped into his world, everything would start to spiral out of control. Caught between revenge, desire, and a destiny that was supposed to be set in stone, I had to make a choice: walk away before everything fell apart, or risk it all to take a role that was never meant for me. When fate stopped playing favorites, not everyone could handle losing their spot as the hero.

After eight years together, I've proposed to my boyfriend 108 times. Each time, he found a different excuse to turn me down. On the 109th try, I give up a promotion and transfer opportunity. Finally, he said yes. I think he's moved by my sincerity. But instead, he brings his first love into our marital home and falls into our bed with her. "I only proposed to her to spite you. If you just say the word, I'll dump her at the altar and marry you instead!" Staring at the scene before me, I take the tight engagement ring off my finger and toss it down the drain. I decide to call off the wedding before he can. But after I walk away, the man who swore he'd marry someone else went crazy searching for me everywhere.

Ever since my CEO husband returned from his business trip, he's been acting strange. His hugs are stiff, and his kisses are empty. Even when we're intimate, something just feels off. When I ask him why, he just smiles and says he's tired from work. But everything falls into place the moment I see his first love stepping out of his Maybach, her body covered in hickeys. That's when I finally give up. I don't argue or cry. I just smile… and tear up the 99th love coupon. Once, he wrote me a hundred love letters. On our wedding day, we made a promise—those letters would become 100 love coupons. As long as there were coupons left, I'd grant him anything he asked. Over the four years of our marriage, every time he left me for his first love, he'd cash in one. But what he doesn't know is that there are only two left.

After Leo Carter’s older brother passed away, his mother proposed that he marry his late brother’s pregnant wife, Ariel Sullivan. Leo refused. “Fawn is my life,” he said coldly. “I’d rather give up inheriting my brother’s position as the don than ever betray my wife.” I was deeply moved by his devotion. That was until I accidentally overheard a conversation between Leo and his mother. “The child in Ariel’s womb is clearly yours,” his mother said sharply. “So why won’t you marry her?” Leo exhaled a cloud of smoke. His gaze drifted somewhere far away, unreadable. “I promised Ariel I’d leave my brother with an heir,” he said calmly. “But this stays between us. If Fawn ever finds out, I’m dead.” His mother’s expression darkened. “So what if she finds out? She can’t even have children herself. Are you going to end the family bloodline because of her?” Leo cut her off, his voice suddenly cold and dangerous. “If she finds out, she will leave me. And I can’t survive losing her. If you want a grandson, then keep your mouth shut.” I stumbled away in a daze, and the blood in my veins slowly turned cold. Leo understood me better than anyone. He knew that in my world, love could not tolerate a betrayal. So the moment he betrayed me, I made my decision. I was leaving.

They say dreams are the most wonderful escape from reality. That it only gives peace and gaiety. A place where you can be yourself and do whatever you want. But, what if the dream, which is supposed to hide you away from misery, becomes a nightmare that will haunt you in reality?

On the day I won the national esports championship, my girlfriend of eight years told me she wanted to go on stage and personally present me with flowers. Standing on the podium, my heart was racing. I reached into my pocket to pull out the ring I'd hidden there, ready to propose to her in front of the entire nation. But what happened next shocked me. She giggled and, instead of handing me the bouquet, she gave it to her male best friend. Under the bright lights, they became the center of attention. The crowd cheered, and their congratulatory messages flooded the trending topics. Even his fans tagged me in posts, mocking, [I told you not to get in the way of our couple, now look at you.] I simply posted on Twitter, [Respect and blessings. Please be locked together forever.]

Nina Hayes's life turned upside down when she's involved in a scandal she has no memory of doing. One moment, she's got a life anyone would be jealous of, and the next thing she knows, her parents are disowning her. Vernon Delaney has it all. Looks, money, power, but he lacks what everyone around him has—love. When he nearly hit a troubled woman on his way home and see the beauty he's never seen before, Vernon did not waste anytime and claimed her as his. A story of a woman who lost everything and a man who has everything but no one by his side. When Fate Messed Up will show you the reality and love between two people who went through so much, and found solace in each other.

As the Mafia principessa, my dad banned men from my life growing up for my protection. However, when I turned twenty, my mom suddenly started arranging blind dates for me. “Please. Just go meet him.” “Mom, I’m only twenty. Am I supposed to get married already?” I didn’t understand her urgency. “I know, I know, but—” After hesitating for a long time, I finally said what was really bothering me. “The guy you introduced is almost fifty. He’s old enough to be my dad!” There was a pause on the other end of the line. Then my mom spoke carefully. “Well, actually… it’s possible he really is your father. I was young and foolish back then. More daddies, more options, right?” My silence must have been deafening because she hurried to backtrack. “Okay, okay. He is a little older, but he’s seriously handsome! A daddy among daddies. Incubus‑level hot!”