Dad Joke Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

My bride went missing on the night of our big day but woke up in my brother's room the next day. My parents persuaded me to ignore it for the sake of fame but scolded my wife as an easy girl. Angrily, I moved out of the villa with my wife. Soon after, my wife had a miscarriage and suffered from depression due to gossip. She jumped off from the top floor in front of me. Desperately, I followed her. Opening my eyes again, I found myself back to the time when the wedding ended.

My younger sister, Angela Schrute, got married at 20. By 21, she already had a child. I'm Elizabeth Schrute, 27 years old, and still unmarried. Over the years, I've brought home a few boyfriends. But every time the subject of marriage comes up, my father, Michael Scrute, will take them into his study. I don't know what he said to them. But whenever they come out of that room, they will turn cold and frightening. It's like their hands are itching to wrap around my throat and squeeze the life out of me. My latest boyfriend thinks Dad is being unreasonable… until he follows him into the study. When he emerges, his eyes burn with rage. He breaks up with me on the spot and slaps me. Twice. I still can't figure it out. What is it that drives each of them away? And what secret is hiding in Dad's study?

Sneak peek: "W-what are you doing?" I asked, my breathing getting heavier as his warm fingers inched towards my bikini bottom. "You called me a coward earlier, remember?" He asked, his other hand wrapped around my throat and lips torturingly brushing over mine "So let's see how much you can handle if I break the boundaries." "I haven't said anything wrong," I breathed out, the collision of the heat of our bodies made the wetness between my thighs build more "Oh really?" He hooked my legs around his waist leaving me surprised I opened my mouth to say something but before any sentence could leave my mouth, sliding past my bikini bottom his fingers were there on my bare clit and the next second they thrust inside the very tight hole of mine leaving me to scream. But everything went silent as he pressed his hot lips upon mine just as I had been wanting since the first day I had ever seen him. **** I always knew the things I felt for Jacob Adriano were wrong in so many ways. He was my dad's best friend, totally out of bounds but I couldn't stop wanting him. And once in the event of my dad's destination wedding, I came across him after years...I lost every one of the boundaries I had and surely I planned to make him lose his ones too. After all Jacob Adriano, the sinfully attractive Italian was not unaware of my obsession with him. But little did know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and demolition.....

At 22, as the Santoro heiress, I'm choosing a husband out of the three Guerra brothers to honor the marriage pact between our families. I pass on Aurelio Guerra and choose the eldest brother, Cesare Guerra, the one with the burn scar on his face, leaving everyone in the Mafia reeling. Everyone knows I put aside my pride as a perfumer for Aurelio and shrank myself until I barely exist. For him, I even leaned on the Santoros' muscle to build his power base. In my last life, I married him, just like I'd always wanted. With the Santoros behind him, he became the youngest Don in the Mafia. After he was established, he hooked up with my stepsister, Maeve Santoro. Together, they stole the new perfume I created, "Reverie", locked me in the lab, and set the place ablaze, reducing me to ash. Now that I've been reborn, I decide to drag those two cheaters to hell myself. But then Aurelio comes back too, carrying the memories of our last life.

Been Alpha Archer’s mate for seven years now, and he still can’t remember my birthday. Even though he’s ice-cold to me, I still love him so much. I keep telling myself our mate bond’s gonna make him and his wolf fall for me one day. On my birthday, I left work early hoping to hang with Archer and our daughter Trista. But what really broke me? Finding out Archer took Trista to see his real love.They left me all alone for the whole day. That’s when I finally called it quits with him. And when Trista said she wanted that woman to be her mom instead of me?I didn’t even hurt anymore. I drafted the divorce papers, gave up custody of Trista, and walked out. Now I’m just waiting for the final divorce order. After leaving my family and going back to work, I showed everyone who used to look down on me I’m way better than they ever thought. But Archer still won’t reject me—and neither will I. On top of that, he’s been coming back to the pack a lot more lately. When he found out I wanted a divorce, his usual coldness was gone in a second. He pinned me against the wall, growling, “Divorce?Ain’t gonna happen.”

Alpha Fabian's first reaction to learning I was his fated mate? Rejection. But drunk at the bonfire festival, he couldn't fight the pull of fate. He marked me. Marking a rejected mate came with a price. His power weakened. Forced into a bond with me, he despised me. For two years, I bled for him. I did 100 impossible things, just hoping for a single glance. I snuck into forbidden lands for rare herbs. I negotiated with enemy packs. I fought on the front lines for him in pack wars, always coming back covered in scars. But the one he truly loved was my adopted sister, Gloria. Even my own parents, the pack's Beta, hated me. I was their lost daughter, raised by rogues for fifteen years. But they only had eyes for their perfect, obedient adopted girl. Then, on my 100th task, I nearly died in the Valley of Shadows. When I woke up, I had amnesia. I was done chasing a cold mate and a family's love I'd never have. And when I finally walked away, Fabian discovered the truth. It was never me who couldn't live without him. It was always him.

Lily: I'm a nanny for the sexiest man alive. For years I've kept my crush a secret, even through our surrogate pregnancy, but now it’s reached a fever. I've seen how Wyatt looks at me. Undeniable tension. Spent restless nights in bed, dreaming about that hard body of his. Wondering if he ever wonders what I’d do to him. For him. Every day I see a strong, loving father to a young girl who needs a mother. I see a gorgeous, damaged man who needs me. And I'm so ready. Ready to be his wife. Ready to be a stepmom. Most of all, ready for a baby of my own. ***** Wyatt: All I ever wanted was to be a father. But raising a baby alone wasn't part of the plan. So when the woman who carried my little girl into this world comes back into my life, of course I take the help. But the longer I'm around her, the more I notice how much she has changed. She's all woman now. A body begging for my touch. Those curves are driving me wild, and I find that I need her as much as my daughter does. Falling in love with my nanny means risking losing everything all over again, but I'm willing to do it if she can give me what I've always desired. A family.

After Vanessa moved into the estate, Mommy stopped fighting with Daddy. Her wolf was getting weaker. I think Mommy was going to the moon. Grandma had left me that way too. Daddy saw us in the hall, his face dark. His voice came out flat. “Fiona, you don't want Serena growing up in a broken home, do you?” Mommy didn't cry and shout at him the way she used to. She just held me, her voice soft. “Wire me a hundred million and I'll stay out of your way.” Daddy froze for a second. Then he transferred the money. After that, Daddy slept in Vanessa's room most nights, and Mommy kept asking him for more. She got so thin, and she wouldn't eat. She took my hand and brought me to a dozen different offices and made me sign papers. She said she was leaving everything to me. I buried my face in her chest. “Mommy, if you're tired, go find Grandma. I'll be good.”

"You were going to be my father-in-law." This is messed up. Gripping my chin, he kisses me. "And now, I'm your plaything, someone you call daddy and get pleasure from. No one will know. Stop thinking about others, or should I stop?" he asks. Ruby, finds her fiance cheating on her, he mocks her and tells her he used her to fool his father into giving him his inheritance early. Ruby's friends suggest she makes a s*x list, which she does, and one night, she is forced to go to her ex-fiance's fathers place to get some of her items she had left there. Only, Alaric, her ex-fiances father has no idea they have split up, and is genuinely shocked when he sees the listed that Ruby created, and one moment of madness, turns into a secret affair between them. Book Two: My four brothers raised me from a young age after my parents death. Their friend Grayson had always lived with us, and I hated him. He seemed to get pleasure from telling my brothers things about me. That all changed, though, when I watched an explicit movie with him, and later found him in the shower pleasuring himself while whispering my name. My brothers will kill him, they may even kill me, but we can't stop ourselves. Something about this been forbidden, makes it so much better.

Elara Sylvester, the Alpha King's daughter, has three weeks to survive. Born wolfless, she has hidden her secret all her life. But on her twentieth birthday, she must present her true mate before the entire pack, or be exposed and executed. Wolfless were considered a curse. Worse? They were born without a true mate. Desperate, Elara’s only hope appears on a snowy midnight road: a wounded stranger with no memories, lethal blue eyes, and a body made for war. She lies and claims he is her mate. Now the dangerously possessive man she saved is living under her roof, calling her his, touching her like he means it… while dark secrets hunt him from the shadows. Because the man Elara brought home is no ordinary wolf. He is Kael Damen, the psychopath masked Alpha every pack wants dead, her enemy. And if he remembers who he is before she can save herself… she may lose her heart, her freedom, and her life.