Depressing Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

"I wouldn't be with a monster like you even if the world was ending and you were the last of the male specie!" That is what she said to him but life took a funny turn from there. Luka Vladimir is your typical Alpha, leading the most ruthless and largest pack ever known. He is 35 and still hasn't found his mate. He was getting restless in finding his luna but when he finally finds her, he wishes he hadn't! Venus Gracia is the exact opposite of anything a Luna should be known as. No, she isn't weak, unwanted and the trash of the town. She is haughty, conceited, and a full-blown feminist human! Born out of old money her only ambiance was to seize the reins of her father's company and she would stop at nothing in this misogynist world to prove her worth. Together they could ruin empires or could lead them to novel peaks but one thing was for sure, together they were explosive!

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

Emilia Burke is a young and advanced college student with an eye for trouble. Ever since her last year in high school, when the only man she ever loved disappeared without a single glance, she has been an expert at evading heartbreak. And hasn't formed a meaningful connection since. Sure, she's young, funny, pretty, and too smart, but she has kept her love interests at a distance and kept everything simple. Fun. No feelings attached. But now, with as much ease as when he disappeared, Leon Maverick has returned to her life as a successful and sexy business tycoon. He's determined to win back the girl whom once had given her all for him, but there's a problem when she can't even stand the idea of him. If only she would give, but there's just something... Something about Leon. And maybe, he'll break through her barriers one last time.

“And that is the reason why I said those words. I like your fear, not because it is a normal thing. I love it because deep down you are a monster like me, schiava. You fear me on a primal level, you can feel my power and dominance, and you know you aren’t the strongest here. So you don’t fear Renzo Valentino the human, you fear the monster that lurks inside.” My life changed the night of my birthday. What started as a funny dare ended with blood and having a price on my head. I thought Renzo was the hero who saved me that night, but he was the devil who owned me forever. I, Misha Yakov, princess of the Russian mafia became Renzo Valentino's slave. He broke me, tortured me, and molded me into something new, something I hated and craved at the same time. I, Misha Yakov became my master's pet.

By day, Carlotta spins stories. By night, she serves drinks. Her life was simple. Until her good-for-nothing brother offered her as collateral to pay off a massive gambling debt to a ruthless underground casino. Now she's the reluctant fiancée of a powerful mafioso rumored to have a cruel streak... and a bedroom secret that's the talk of the criminal underworld: erectile dysfunction. Carlotta would've found it funny if it weren't her life on the line. To make things worse, fate throws in another complication: her dangerously attractive new driver-slash-bodyguard. With abs worthy of a thirst trap and a face that screams "Asgardian demigod". He's the kind of temptation a woman in her situation absolutely does not need. Just when she thinks it couldn't get more absurd, her cold, mysterious fiancé summons her to his penthouse suite with one chilling demand: He wants a taste of what's been promised. Her.

Tara’s mother and sister are both Lunar Wolves, blessed by the Moon Goddess with unique abilities. Tara seems to be an ordinary werewolf, but as she comes of age and welcomes her charismatic wolf, Trinity, her quiet life in Blue Moon is turned upside down. When she finds her mate, she’s catapulted into the spotlight, into a fairy tale with dark undercurrents she never saw coming. The threat of war looms, as her sister Talia prepares to become one of the first female Alphas, a controversial break with tradition that faces formidable resistance. Tara uncovers long buried secrets, a cryptic prophecy that unexpectedly awakens something dormant, and finds herself at the forefront as winds of change sweep through Lycan and Werewolf society. This is a story full of twists, turns, and laugh out loud funny moments. If you’re ready for a fast paced and thought provoking romantic comedy with plenty of drama and action, this novel is a fun must-read.

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

“She is mine!” Alpha Casper roared, yanking me toward him, his eyes blazing a dangerous shade of red. “Let her go, you filthy mutt and I might let you live.” Alpha Jake only pulled me closer, his lips curling into a dark smirk. “Funny,” he growled, “I was about to say the same thing to you.” The room trembled with their growls, two powerful Alphas locked in a deadly stare, both refusing to back down. But just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, the doors burst open and another Alpha stepped in. His eyes landed on me, and his voice rumbled with possessive fury. “Mate!” … Kamari had just turned eighteen, the age every wolf dreams of, when she can finally shift and embrace her destiny. But the Moon Goddess had other plans. Instead of one fated mate… she was given three. Three powerful Alphas, each bound to her by destiny, torn apart by rivalry, and willing to destroy the world just to claim her heart.

Charlotte Winston is an omega who gets abused by her pack members. She is twenty years old and still hasn't heard from her wolf. She thinks she's wolfless that is until one rainy day. Damon Massimo still hasn't found his mate until a visit to Charlotte's pack changed that but he doesn't want an omega as his Luna. "Just say you reject me," I told him ignoring the lump in my throat. I can't cry not in front of Damon. He looks at me with a sadistic smirk, he traps me in between his arms and whispers, "Who said I was going to reject you Cara?" he asked with venom in his voice, "No, I'm not going to reject you but I'm going to show the moon Goddes that if she thinks it's funny to give me an omega as my Luna she's playing a prank on the wrong Alpha," he finished looking at me with disgust.

Yveon Sid Baltazar has feelings for her childhood best friend, Grant Velasquez. Grant is a famous actor, singer and model who has an excellent reputation. Yveon never tried to confess her feelings to her friend, and she knows that it will just ruin everything and she's contented on what relationship they have now. Minseo Xin, a boy who lives in the other world, was a rule breaker. He's the next one to be the king of Hanyang Dynasty, but he doesn't like the idea of being in the throne that's why he does his best to make his father angry and let his brother Jun take the throne instead. His father- the current king of Hanyang, decided to send Minseo on the other world where Yveon and Grant lives and let his brother Jun take the spot of being the next king temporarily. What will happen if Yveon and Minseo meet? Does Grant will know what his childhood best friend feels for him? The feelings will be mutual or not?