Dirtiest Jokes Novels & Stories

"I don't like your ridiculous piercings. I don't like your ridiculous tattoos. I don't like those ridiculous pink shorts you're wearing right now. I don't like your ridiculous voice. I don't like your ridiculous Instàgram posts. Matter of fact, delete that group selfie you just took. I don't want me or my wife being on your ridiculous feed. It's embarrassing to be associated with you. You are ridiculous. The only reason people cling on to you is because of your rich dad." "Is this some sick joke?" "The only joke here is you, Leo." "Do you know who the fùck you're talking to?" "Yes." Damien nods. "I'm talking to Leo Giovanni. The biggest joke on the table. An embarrassment to his family. Fail

he says simply. I blink at him. “You always do.” He tilts his head. “You look like you could use a dumb joke.” “I really could.” He leans in. “Okay, what do you call a chicken that crossed the road, rolled in mud, and came back?” I stare at him. “A dirty double-crosser.” I snort. “That’s horrible.” He grins. “But you laughed.” “I did not.” He lifts a brow. “You giggled.”

Easter frowned trying to think but then shook her head negatively. "An impasta!" With that, they both started laughing making Sarah stare at the man dumbfounded. She heard this joke trillion times and she was sure this man must have used it many times as well but he was still laughing like a hyena. Darren looked up finding the woman he wanted to meet standing there with ridiculed expression openly telling him how lame his joke was. Sarah turned away from him grabbing the bags but watching her struggling with them he chuckled lowly standing up and making Easter look at him.

"That stupid toilet bowl is messing with me again! Kuya is to blame! He left his boxer brief in the bathroom, and it fell into the toilet bowl as I was pouring water on it! How do you unclog a stupid toilet bowl?! ” Hazel burst out laughing. "Suck it, lady." Jewel grinned as Gabbi's expression darkened. "You're the only one who can suck a stupid toilet bowl, and maybe you can suck the septic tank as well," Gabbi said. "That's enough," Jewel said quietly, returning to the keyboard. Hazel and Gabbi were not very good at playing jokes because they often took jokes personally, which resulted in a nasty fight. Gabbi was grumpy, and Hazel adored grumpiness.

"This man is sick." Lindy: I HAVE NEVER MET A MAN AS STUPID AND DIRTY AS YOU! Well too bad, I don't fit your standards. I'm a VERY old woman, with cane, white hairs and wrinkles. Milo smiled to himself, “I have way better jokes than that.” He sounded proud. Mill: That's cute. But you call that funny? Okay, I'm giving you a chance this time. But only one time. Ha-ha. See? I laughed. I laughed at your joke because your like a cute little hot ripe apple that's ready to be eaten.

I exclaimed and chuckled. He was laughing too as he told his story. "I know! After I said that, he and our old men stared at me for a long time. Then Papa cursed me in Español and stormed out. But I know my joke was funny because I saw some of our old men holding in their laughs. Mama heard about it and lectured me about it. Anyway, it was one of my funniest jokes to date." Imagine being a kid and joking in front of your father after he just killed a person. And then imagine being so mad you had to kill in front of your child and he just jokes about your face. I guess craziness runs in their blood.

Because you initiated to ruin my morning, I won’t hold back. “Better to joke with a drunk than joke with a hardworking person like me! GO HOME!” I shouted. His annoyance suddenly disappeared and he hunkered down to take some mud. Alas, the bastard wanted to fight. Dissatisfied, he went down and sunk his shoes in the dirt. Stupid guy… So, I laughed. “Hey, have mercy on the laundress who will wash your shoes and clothes.” So, he raised his shoes that were already stained like the Magnum ice cream dipped in chocolate. Then he threw it somewhere outside the paddy and attacked me by surprise.

"But I'm the worst joke teller in this universe." "No, I'm pretty sure I am. Then you go first." "Well, what happens if a wolf falls into the washing machine?" "Uh, I have no idea." "It becomes a wash and a werewolf." He then makes a BA-DUM-CHA sound with his mouth and bursts into a wide smile. He must know he's pulled the worst prank ever known to mankind, or he wouldn't be so proud. Even though it's stupid, I catch myself laughing anyway. Laughing until the tears flow, falling like rainwater washing my face and arms. Crying until it's impossible to stop, impossible to forget what lies ahead.

He exclaimed bursting into a pearl of laughter. “What?” I asked as a smile emerged on my face as well. Chris threw his head back and released a bout of laughter even deeper than the first. The laughter was so contaminating, I couldn’t help but join him. “And that wasn’t even the worst part,” he exclaimed amidst laughter. I raised my brows and he didn’t waste time to fill me in, “The fool soiled his pants when we got to the peak!” At this point, we both burst into laughter as I saw an image of a very large man that had soiled his pants and continuously polluted the air due to a stomach upset that he could have avoided.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”