Dirtiest Jokes Novels & Stories

"I have a sense of humor, thank you very much. I just don't find your fart jokes funny." Felecia snickered. "Everyone likes a fart joke, Moana." Harper waved his fork at Kelsey. "I don't care who you are. Fart jokes are classic." "Stop calling me Moana." Kelsey rolled her eyes. "They're disgusting." "You're disgusting." "Your mom's disgusting." Jamie's brows shot up and he covered his mouth with a fist. "Oh." "Now who is being immature?" Harper's grin only widened. "Your mom jokes are classic. Everyone knows that." Kelsey waved her hand.

I need to tell you something! Elian: If this is another stupid joke, I’ll hurt you. Niko: Go for it, wild thing. It’s been a while since we had a good joke from you. Wilder: Yeah, I’m awesome like that. Anyway … why was the plumber so good in bed? Saint: No idea, Wilder. Wilder: Because he knew how to handle a leaky pipe. Saint: You’re getting better at this. Wilder: I’m fucking awesome, just admit it.

In the end, readers are crazy for being readers in a world where words flow down the monosyllabic drain of unculturedness. * This is a chronicle that I love, from the time when Bia was still married and she would gossip to me over the phone. Added a dash of comedy. I burst out laughing every time I read it! almost divorce "Your fart is so stinky!" ― And by any chance, is there a smelly fart? “There are the not-so-overly-stinky ones. You look like you died inside, you're rotten! Go to the bathroom or I'm going to pass out.

Much to my embarrassment, they burst into laughter. "Do you think we'd be interested in serving a member of the royal family? That's bullshit!" jeered the man with green hair, his laughter echoing through the room. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. These people were insane! What was so funny about my simple question? They were nothing but uncivilized savages, laughing for no reason!

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

“What happened back there?” “Well, Mama talked me into applying for work at Cabinet Office as a janitor,” Mia replied. “I did and two weeks later I was called by the HR. I went there today and some jerk, the Director, wanted to take advantage of me in exchange for a job. I grabbed his balls and made him wish he had erectile dysfunction.” Crystal laughed out loud. “And the clothes and shoes?” “I wanted a souvenir,” Mia responded. “So, I made the motherfucker strip off in his office.”

"Alright, fine. If you won't smile, I'll have to tell you my top-tier jokes. What do you call a fake noodle?" Elena had blinked, her stern frown flickering for a split second. "What?" "An impasta." She had stared at me in absolute, stony silence for three whole seconds. "That is terrible. That is the worst joke I've ever heard." "Okay, okay, tough crowd," I had grinned, my dark eyes sparkling with wicked delight as I stroked her cheek. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" "Jaxx, please stop…" "Because they make up everything."

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."