Dirty Tagalog Jokes

“Zhia, listen carefully to them...” Ipinakita nila sa akin through presentation ang portfolio ni Sean at halos... Wow. Napanganga ako at yung tipong natulog pa ba ang lalaking to sa loob ng 17 years at 17 years lang! Oh my Ghad! “All of the businesses are legally operated.” Napalingon ako kay Sean... “Sorry.” yun na lang nasambit ko dahil alam ko malulugi siya dahil sa trilliones na nawala. “ I don't accept Sorry Zhia. It's just a playing safe words. I hate that single word. So, since sinabi ko na din yan. Don't ever mention it again. I think pumirma ka na.” Napatingin ako sa papel. Oh my na pinanlakihan ko ng aking mga mata. Sabay yakap sa folder at tingin na nakangiti kay Sean. “Hindi pa. Pakuha ka nang bagong kontrata dali.” Nang bigla niyang hawakan yung folder at tigasan kong niyakap. “Ano ba Sean! Ikaw tong di nakikinig eh! Di pa nga!” Pero mapilit talaga.hangang sa nakuha na niya. Tinignan nga niya...at hinarap ako na nakangiti... “You're already mine Zhia, kahit wala ang kontrata na ito.” sabi niya na di maalis sa labi niya ang ngiti.

Cedrick Marlan Wu, a physician also known as Doctor Alucard. He is also behind the multi-billionaire Wu Pharmaceutical Company & Wu Medical institution (WMI). During his wedding day, it turns the time as a nightmare to him. His bride showered to her own blood. It was known Wu Wedding Massacre. Where hundreds of people died on that tragic accident. After the accident, he obtains the phobia so called Philophobia. (Fear to love) He perform surgery during only full moon, reason why they called him Doctor Alucard.

Kwarenta anyos na si Romana ngunit never na sumagi sa kaniyang isip ang pag-aasawa. Nasa kaniya na halos ang lahat; talino, ganda, marangyang buhay, at koneksiyon . . . kabiyak na lamang ang kulang. Hanggang sa nakilala niya si Vincent. Isang lalaki na namasukan bilang dancer sa bar upang matustusan ang pangangailangan ng kaniyang asawang may sakit sa puso. Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay napukaw ang interes ni Romana ng isang lalaki. Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, ito ay nakatali na. Nalagay sa peligro ang asawa ni Vincent. Ginamit ni Romana ang pagkakataon na iyon upang makuha ang nais. Binayaran niya nang malaking halaga ang lalaki kapalit ang isang kasunduan; ang maging kaniyang fvck buddy. Pumayag si Vincent sa kagustuhan ni Romana upang maisalba ang buhay ng asawa. Sapat nga ba ang pera at galing sa kama upang makuha ang puso ng taong minamahal? Paano kung ang pag-ibig na nais ay makasisira ng isang masaya at buong pamilya? Handa bang maging makasarili o pipiliin na magpaubaya?

Veronica Hayden is on the verge of losing everything. Her father, Vincent Hayden, is sent to prison. Veronica’s father owes money to Ezra Waylen, and she cannot repay his debt. She has no one to turn to and nowhere to go until Ezra Waylen offers to keep her off the streets. What does Ezra want from Veronica? Ezra wants to own her. The mafia boss is not used to anyone telling him no, and with no other choice, Veronica chooses to be Ezra's live-in servant. Veronica will bend to every desire Ezra has and learn all his dirty, dangerous secrets. Veronica plans to use these secrets to free herself, but one obstacle is in the way, Roman. Ezra's underboss Roman and Veronica start an affair that could get them both killed. Will the secrets Veronica learns from Ezra be enough to free Roman and herself, or will they both be trapped under Ezra's thumb?

Fucking hell,” was the last thing I heard from him before his lips met mine, his hands cooling my skin. But it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I needed him to ease the burning inside me. “Inside—” I gasped, turning my head to the side. “It hurts inside of me.” Seth was breathing heavily above me. “Do you know what you are asking for, Camilla?” I swallowed, looking at his face before spreading my legs. “Yes, Beta. I want you inside of me.” Camilla had always lived in the Green Hill pack but hadn't found her mate yet. She started to think she was either mateless or her mate wasn’t in her pack. After an attack with while she was cleaning the Luna’s house , she was taken to the hospital by their Pack’s beta, Seth. But when Camilla opened her eyes and looked into Seth's brown eyes, she felt sparks. She had known Seth, but even with their brief encounters, there was nothing. Camilla’s happiness faded when she remembered Seth was married and had a four-year-old son. Now, what would Camilla do, especially after finding out she was carrying the Beta's child? Would she remain the Beta's dirty little secret?

Freya had a wild, exciting and romantic night with a total stranger after a terrible heartbreak. They confessed their feelings for each other after that steamy night. She was heartbroken once more when she discovered that the man she had given herself to had another girl. She left without telling Jacob that she was pregnant with their child. Seven years later, fate let them meet again. Ipakikilala ba ni Freya kay Jacob ang kanilang anak? Paano kung muli siyang mahulog sa kamandag ni Jacob? Posible ba ang happy ever after kung magkaiba ang mundong kanilang kinabibilangan? ~~~~~~~~~~~ GRAY SERIES 1 ONE NIGHT LOVE (TAGALOG) BOOK 1, 2 and 3 - COMPLETED GRAY SERIES 2 ONE NIGHT DARKER (TAGALOG) - COMPLETED GRAY SERIES 3 LONGING FOR MY EX-WIFE'S RETURN - COMPLETED

Wild and immodest are just a few words na ikinakabit sa pangalan ni Atashia Magnoia. Bakit? Anak kasi siya ng isang babaeng mababa ang lipad. People condemn her because of her mother's work. Dahil dito kaya simula noong bata pa siya ay pilit niyang pinatutunayan sa lahat na iba siya sa kaniyang ina. Sa kabila ng pangmamaltrato na kaniyang nararanasan, hindi niya magawang iwanan ang kaniyang nanay. Wala kasi siyang ibang matatawag na pamilya maliban dito. Hanggang sa dumating si Lance Henzon sa buhay ni Atashia. Wala siyang pakialam sa kung anuman ang kinamulatan na buhay ng dalaga. Sa kabila ng pagiging CEO ng Henzon Group of Companies, walang takot niyang aalisin ang babaeng minamahal sa putikan na kinasasadlakan nito, kahit kapalit noon ay madungisan ang apelyido na iniingatan niya. Handa siyang maging tanga at katawa-tawa sa ngalan ng pag-ibig. Pakakasalan niya si Atashia dahilan para isumpa siya ng kan'yang buong pamilya. Iiwan n'ya ang karangyaan at magtratrabaho siya bilang isang construction worker para buhayin ang kaniyang asawa. Sa kabila ng hirap, magiging masaya silang dalawa. Ngunit isang aksidente ang babago sa lahat. Sa muling pag-gising ni Lance, mamumulat siya sa katotohanan na ang kan'yang asawa ay nakalimutan na ang kanilang sumpaan at naging katulad na rin ng kaniyang biyenan. Bukod pa roon, may anak na si Atashia na pilit ipinaaako sa kaniya. Ang pusong dating wagas kung magmahal ay babalutin ng matinding poot at kasamaan na magdudulot ng matinding sugat sa mga puso nila. Ang kasal na nagbibigkis sa dalawa ay tatalikuran ni Lance at sa iba niya hahanapin ang panibagong kaligayahan. Ngunit paano kung gawin ni Atashia ang lahat upang muli siyang mapaibig, babalikan n'ya pa rin ba ang kan'yang asawa sa kabila ng pagkakaroon nito ng dirty secret?

Si Lou Wisesun ay may kakayahan na makita ang future marriage ng isang tao. Kaya nitong tuklasin ang buong pangalan ng taong mapapangasawa mo at taon kung kailan mismo kayo maikakasal. Handa ka bang magbayad para makilala si “The One”? Ngunit anong gagawin mo kung nakita sa’yo na ikakasal ka sa isang mahirap na farmer? Sa isang lalaki na may limang kapatid at walang ibang ginawa ang buong pamilya niya kundi ang magtanim ng palay sa kanilang bukiran. Kaya mo nga bang baguhin ang takbo ng tadhana mo? This is the story of Onalisa Gwen. She has a mission. A mission to stop marrying her future Husband in order to protect her family reputation.

Buong akala ni Devina ay pananagutan siya ni Valentine dahil na ‘rin sa pangako nito sa kaniya. Ngunit hindi sumipot ang lalaki, ang ama ng kaniyang mga anak. Kung kaya nag decide siya na hinding-hindi niya ipapakilala ang mga bata kay Valentine at palalabasin na patay na ang kanilang ama. Ngunit sadyang mapagbiro ang tadhana. Makalipas ang pitong taon ay dadalo siya sa kasal ng kaniyang half-sister at ang mapapangasawa nito? Walang iba kundi ang ama ng kaniyang mga anak.

Abby Leonor is engrossed to the thought of being a wife of his childhood bestfriend Cloud Miguel Salazar that she will do anything to get this man even if it cost her dignity and freedom. She destroyed his supposedly wedding and put herself in a shameful situation just to be his wife. Now that they are married, until when she could swallow the pain when the man she loves hait her so much.