Easter Funny Sayings

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Kehidupan memaksa Mazaya untuk tergabung dalam sekelompok mafia dan menyembunyikan identitasnya sebagai seorang wanita; berganti nama menjadi Hexel.Ia diberikan misi untuk menyalin data sebuah software aplikasi New World yang menjadi incaran para startup. Software tersebut diprediksi akan memberikan keuntungan besar bagi perusahaan yang berhasil memilikinya.Ia lalu menjadi salah satu anggota tim developer software di perusahaan pembangun software tersebut. Mulailah aksinya satu demi satu tahapan penyalinan dilakukannya.Namun pada perjalanannya ia bertemu dengan seorang pemuda yang ternyata dia adalah CEO dari perusahaan tempat ia menjalankan misi. Dan identitasnya sudah terlanjur diketahui oleh pemuda tersebut.Konflik antara cinta dan profesionalisme pekerjaan pun terjadi. Semua tidak bisa dihindari dan mengorbankan segalanya.

Si Crisanta ay may matagal ng pangarap na maging isang sikat na news writer kaya naman madalas siyang tumambay sa opisina ng kanyang ninong na hepe ng pulisya sa kanilang bayan upang makasagap ng scoop or balita. Dito niya unang nakita ang gwapo at makisig na pulis na si Sergeant Alexander Ricarfort, pangalan pa lang ang kisig na. Tinamaan ka agad siya ng palaso ni kupido lalo na ng masalat niya kung gaano "katambok" at "katigas" ang abs nito. Gumawa siya ng paraan para mapalapit sa binata at ng makakuha na rin siya ng magandang article para sa kanilang newspaper. ayun nga lang mukhang lagi siyang inaalat, dahil sa tuwing mag lalapit sila ni Alex ay kung ano-ano namang kapalpakan ang nagagawa niya na lalong ikinainis ng binata sa kanya. Paano pa kaya siya magugustuhan ni Alex kung lahat ng gusto nito sa isang babae ay wala sa kanya? idagdag pa na meron na pala itong "babe". Wala na nga kayang pag-asa ang mapagmahal na puso ni Cris para sa makisig nating pulis?

Cassandra is summoned by a magical owl, and she discovers that another world exists in the middle of Siberia, where monsters, faeries, elves, and sorcerei fight for domination. She soon becomes inextricably involved in the affairs of this 'other dimension' that lies behind a magical mirror, and everyone in that realm is at the mercy of the blue moon. But Cassandra has never expected to meet a sorceress quite like Princess Vasilisa, not to mention, she is an actual legendary Vasilisa the Wise from the fairytale she has read as a kid. Vasilisa is also a daughter of an evil sorcerer Czar, and whose plan is to overrule the human world and the magical world with the help of an all-powerful dark lord, Koschei, the Deathless. When the night of the solstice arrives, Cassandra's mortal realm and the magical one will collide. If she doesn't help Vasilisa find the Golden Wand and stop her greedy father before the winter solstice, both their lives and everyone else's will fall into an inevitable apocalypse.

Para hindi makulong ang kanyang ama pinili ni Christel na kausapin ang business partner nito. Ngunit hindi niya inaasahang iba ang iooffer nito kapalit ng kalayaan ng kanyang ama. Lukas Benjamin Snyder is a notorius business man. He want's nothing to do with the old man but to put him behind bars. He is cold and heartless. He had never wanted anything in his life, except for one person. And he will do everything in his power to have her. Christel Raine Fortejo is one of the lucky Pilipina model to became a Victoria Secret Angel. She's at the peak of her career. She's living her life the way she wanted. Ano ang mangyayari kung isang araw sabihin sa kanya ng kanyang ama na makukulong ito? Let's follow their journey and learn how she became His Beloved Christel.

A girl that always smiling, jolly, she wants to be with her friends all the time. Azaria Bryn Garcia, she wants to be the best and make her parents proud. Even though she's always happy most of the time, in her beautiful smile there is a hidden sadness there. Until she met Steven Zayn Xiao, they became friends because they're classmates. "I'm tired of being like this" "Bakit hindi ko ramdam yung pagmamahal niyo?!" "Pati sarili kong pamilya, ayaw din sa akin" And this happened...