Filipino Jokes One Liner

My ..father" is a strange man and he has some rules. 1. Don't bring to our home any boy or girl. 2. Don't drink or take drugs. 3. Do not take provocative clothes. 3. All the time say with whom you are and where you are. 4. Never walk alone at night. 5, And the last but most important never speak with a vampire. But I broke all rules in one night and find out his secret that Jack who have had grown me, was the vampire who killed my mother. I must run... run away from my most precious person because this love was born into a grudge.

This is the age of exotics and technology! Due to the discovery of the miracle metal resource- exotics, humanity was plunged into an era of war. Kalen Drake was born into this cruel era where the ones with the biggest fist speak. As a knight who lost both his parents to the tentacles of war and its cruelty, he sought to stop all the carnage. To do this, he must step up to the daunting task of overthrowing the rule of the big 5 organizations. In a world dominated by high-grade warriors, technology that can only be dreamed of in the 21st century, and dangerous mutated exobeasts, Kalen gradually fought his way to the peak of power as a divine warrior. Referred to as the chosen one, the Divine Commanders of humanity led by the legendary Hercules looked up to him as the one to lead them in battle. Join me as we witness Kalen's meteoric rise to power and how he'll conspire against and overthrow the rule of the big 5 to stabilize the world again.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Isabella Monte is distraught when her family loses everything. Determined not to lose her parents, she swore on her father's hospital bed to get back all they had lost, however her father told her that it was futile as their suffering was caused by Angelo Flores, the wealthiest bachelor in Panama. Angelo would stop at nothing to completely get rid of the Monte's as he blames them for the death of his parents and sister. While at the hospital with her father, Isabella is visited by none other than Angelo and a deal is placed before her. "Marry me and I will let your family go." Against her father's will, Isabella agrees to Angelo's demands. Her hatred for him is stronger than ever as she vows to make him pay for her family's suffering. But, what happens when Isabella finds herself falling for the enemy?

My family has always considered me a harbinger of misfortune. It's all because I can see a countdown to my relatives' deaths. I tell them when my grandfather, father, and mother will die. It all comes true due to various accidents. My three brothers hate me to the core because they think I cursed my parents and grandfather. My mother actually dies after giving birth to my younger sister, but my brothers dote on her to no end. They say she's their lucky star because everything goes well for the family after she's born. But didn't Mom die while giving birth to her? On my 18th birthday, I see my death countdown when I look at myself in the mirror. I buy an urn I like and prepare a meal. I want to have one last meal with my brothers, but none of them show up even when the timer hits zero…

"Ms. Harris, you're already six months pregnant. The baby is fully formed... Are you sure you want to go through with the abortion? The hospital strongly advises against it." The doctor said hesitatingly. Phoebe Harris instinctively placed a hand over her swollen belly. Six months. The child had grown inside her, from something no bigger than a grain of rice to the size it was now. They say a mother and her child share an unspoken bond, and she could feel it too. If she weren't utterly broken inside, what mother would ever have the heart to give up her baby who was about to enter the world? After a silence that seemed to stretch on forever, Phoebe took a deep breath. Then, with a resolve that left no room for doubt, she said, "I'm sure."

Twisting her hands backward, he took her till the walls. "You did'nt leave till now?" That man questions her as he leaned to her face. "Mmm...... Mmmmm....... Please leave my hand...... Leave it..." "I won't listen to you once today. I gave you once chance." He said coming close to her in a low and bossy tone. Anna smelled the strong smell of wine. It was obvious that he was more drunk than Anna. She could strongly feel his warm breaths across her face. Her start started to beat more faster than before. "But see.... You came back to me.... Now even if you want to leave me, I won't let you leave me." Anna tried hard to leave from his grip but he pulled her towards him. He kept his lips on her lips. By this sudden kiss Anna's eyes widened. She did'nt expect something like this. That man started to kiss her wildly. She started to suffocate by his wild kiss. She tried to free herself from him but was unsuccessful. He stopped for a moment and then took her face in between his hands. Both were standing too close to each other, so close that they could hear each others heartbeat but due to the darkness in the room both were unable to see each other. "You wanted this, right? You wanted me to love you endlessly" "Yes..... Yes.... I.....wanted.... to..... but....." She was trembling as she spoke.

Amy didn't expect that her husband whom she had loved and trusted earnestly for many years would be cheating on her by having sex with his secretary. When she confronted him, he and his secretary mocked and ridiculed her, they called her barren to her face, afterall, she had not conceived for the past three years that she had been married to her husband, Callan. Terribly Heartbroken, she filed for divorce and left to the club, she picked a random gigolo, had a hot one night stand with him, paid him and dissapeared to a small city. She came back to the country six years later with three identical cute boys and three identical cute girls of the same age. She settled and got a job but soon find out that her CEO was the gigolo she had sex with six years back at the club. Will she be able to hide her six little cuties from her CEO, who happens to be the most powerful man in NorthHill and beleived to be infertile? Can Amy and the most powerful man in NorthHill get along considering the social gap between them.

Can Ilongga beauty tame the dragon? Paano nga ba kung nakahanap ng katapat ang certified black sheep ng pamilya sa katauhan ng isang estranghera? Dahil sa isang malaking pustahan ng magbabarkada. Ycon, the deadliest CEO and the black sheep of the family ay aksidenteng nainlove sa isang titibo-tibong Ilongga. He was a certified womanizer in town. Katwiran ay pagdating ng panahon ipapakasal naman siya ng kanyang lolo sa babaeng hindi niya naman gusto pero nagmula sa maharlikang pamilya. Why not sulitin niya muna ang pagiging buhay binata, sayang ang genes kapag hindi natikman ng ibang chicks hindi ba? Hannah Maricor Evina Zaavedra, na taglay ang totoong tagline na basta "Ilongga Gwapa" The adopted daughter of The Zaavedra family in Iloilo. The cow girl, happy go lucky, always positive in life, maawain at mapagmahal kanino man. Paano kung magkrus ang landas ng dalawa at ang mga pinaniniwalaan ng bawat isa ay hindi magkatugma? Away-bati, aso't pusa, kulog at kidlat, araw at ulan, init at lamig ganito parati ang dalawa hanggang ang isa sa kanila ay nahulog na nga. Ngunit ang unti-unting nararamdamang ay mukhang magiging forever secret nalang sapagkat nagkaroon ng lamat ang angkan ng mga Lee at Zaavedra, dahil sa kinasangkutang eskandalo na ang pasimuno ay ang mismong ate ni Ycon at ang pinsan ni Hannah. At tila yata at inaayunan ng tadhana dahil makalipas ang walong taon ay mauungkat muli ang nakaraan sa aksidenteng pagtatagpo ng landas ng dalawa sa isang sikat na isla ng Boracay sa Aklan, at sa wakas nagkaroon nga ng pagkakataon na maisakatuparan ang dati nang plano na paghigantihan ang dalaga. "What happens in Boracay stays in Boracay." But that planned night na sa huli ay kanyang pagsisisihan dahil sa mga sikretong malalaman. Magkaka-forever pa kaya ang dalawa? Hay ang gulo-gulo na talaga!

"I told you to stay away," Evanora whispered, her voice wavering. Eros's cold smile widened. "You made your choice. You came to me, offered yourself that night. Now, you think you can run?" "It was supposed to be one night," she breathed, meeting his gaze. Eros traced her jawline, his voice low. "One night wasn’t enough, tesoro. It never could be." He pinned her against the wall, his lips brushing her ear. "And if I have to burn the world to keep you, I will." _________ Sometimes, a single mistake can either ruin your life or change it forever. Evanora Scott, the youngest and most powerful woman in New York City, had everything—a successful career respect, and control, an excellent actress. But after finding her soon to be husband in bed with her best friend, she made a reckless decision. Heartbroken and drunk, she decided to give away the one thing she’d always guarded—her virginity. She chose the man in front of her, a stranger who radiated danger and mystery. Hypnotized by his charisma and the alcohol in her system, she surrendered herself to him, never expecting to see him again after that night. But she couldn’t have been more wrong. She had fallen into the clutches of Eros Kane, the most feared billionaire. A man with more than just political power—he was the embodiment of terror and sin. In the mortal world, he was a billionaire with influence, but in the underworld, he was something far more dangerous. Lucifer. The King of Darkness. The creator of sin and ruler of hell itself. After that one night, Eros couldn’t forget her. She’d imprinted herself on his dark soul, and now, there was only one solution. She had to be his—forever. She has to become his wife....

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT For Jade Hart, there are no black or white when it comes to saving the life of her high school sweetheart. She goes as far as selling her body for his sake but what happens when it all blows up in her face? A night with the infamous Max Anderson is all it takes for Jade's life to spiral out of control. Betrayal, Passion, Lust, Love; how will Jade and Max deal with these emotions and desires, especially when they have three little angels between them?