Food Jokes

The day before Henry Baker and I are supposed to marry, my mother sedates me. She makes my twin sister marry Henry instead. A few years later, the company Henry established turns into a thriving empire. My sister, Diana Halliwell, flourishes with him. While I was at the lowest point in my life, my childhood friend, Jorge Ward, proposed. It's only after marriage that I realize he's worthless. Diana and Henry attend various parties. They enjoy delicious food and wear expensive clothes. Meanwhile, I end up exhausted after having to cook and clean for my family. One night, Mom speaks softly to Jorge when she thinks I've fallen asleep. "I was worried she would find out the truth about what happened back then, but it seems she's too dumb to notice anything." Jorge laughs. "You're a genius, Erica. You laced Laura's water with sleeping pills so Diana could marry Henry on her behalf. I'm glad to see how happy Diana is now." Mom sighs. "I just feel bad for you. You've always liked Diana, yet you're forced to live with a wash-out like Laura…"

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY After sharing a hot steamy night, she left him the last money she had in her pocket. A one thousand peso bill as a 'payment for his service'. One week later, the agency hired her and she and started working as a personal chef and housemaid to a man whose identity was unknown to everyone. She only knew him as a CEO whom he thought an old man with a fat belly and a bald head. Working for the old man without seeing him for almost a month was peaceful and pleasant. Cleaning the house, cooking the food and leaving him a note to cheer him up everyday was now her favorite routine. She enjoys serving him. She loves the peace and silence her work is giving. Everything is calm and perfect, not until the day, a young, drop dead gorgeous bachelor with a piercing blue eyes, who happened to be a single dad showed up with his five year old daughter. Who would have thought that the old man, she thought she was working for, is the same man he ridiculed and measured the 'service' lousy and dissatisfied, turned out to be her boss? Could she still run away from him? or Will she let herself be trapped in the midnight again?

As I walk towards the man waiting for me at the alter, I had tears in my eyes. This was'nt the usual kind of tears of joy, it was a tears that comes with pains. Ever since my dream of becoming a plastic surgeon got crashed due to poor financies, I took up another dream to become a popular chef and get married to the man of my dreams, but here I was getting married to a man I know nothing about, he's not just an ordinary man, but a ruthless billionaire and a CEO to one of the biggest food companies in America. Not like I was being forced to get married to him, I willing accepted his proposal. Having a long time boyfriend who broke my heart to the deepest and also a younger sister who needs immediate surgery, I had no choice but to accept his proposal inorder to save my younger sister's life. I looked at my mom and sister and in their faces lies a lot of happiness. They'd think I'm getting married to the man I love, not knowing I'm getting married to my worst nightmare. Will I ever find happiness while living with him, that I couldn't tell, but I'm ready to dance to the beating of the music if is the only way I can be able to save my sister, who means so much to me....

My mother-in-law is extremely frugal. She reuses paper others have discarded, carefully saving the unmarked portions. She even takes the black waste oil from the kitchen range hood and uses it to cook our meals. She says, "Frugality is a virtue—it brings blessings!" I try tirelessly to convince her otherwise, throwing out all her filthy items to protect my family's health. But while she praises me to my face, behind my back, she uses my baby's food scissors to clip her grimy toenails. My child eventually dies of a lung infection, leaving me heartbroken. My mother-in-law, however, points her finger at me, saying I'm unlucky and that I've brought misfortune to their family. Even my husband blames me. In the end, they use a knitting needle to pierce my throat and stab me to death. When I open my eyes again, I find myself back on the day I first see her picking up dirty paper. The first thing I do is hide all the high-quality tissue paper I had stocked up on before my pregnancy, pretending I knew nothing. She calls these blessings, right? Fine. The blessings of this miserly frugality—she can reap them all herself!

I'm Elaine Lopez. I'm a woman at the bottom of the food chain who once thought that love triumphs everything until my deadbeat husband cheated on me with another woman. It never occurred to me how exhausted I was with the marriage until she took the burden off me. Looking for a fresh start and vowing never to let love get in the way of the better life I'm forging for myself, I cross paths with Kingsley Larson, the ruthless billionaire who's known to have lost his smile and has a heart of stone. Entangled in a web of undeniable passion for one night, I'm convinced I'll never see him again until he turns out to be my new boss. If clawing my way up to the social ladder means I have to strike a deal with the devil, then I'll do it. After all, for our arrangement, all I have to do is to please him s3xually while I get to keep my job and live the life I have always wanted. But as we chase the lust that has taken root between us with no strings attached, it becomes clear to me that Kingsley isn't just the devil, he's so much more. He's my ruin, the same way I'm his.

What happens when a food-obsessed blogger dies mid-bite and wakes up as the royal psychiatrist to a Lycan king who’s one bad day away from burning the kingdom down? Ariana never asked to be Lady Elena Voss: ice-cold healer by day, assassin by night, and—thanks to a cosmic clerical error—the fated mate of King Kael Draven, a man whose mind is a battlefield and whose violent alter ego is counting down to total takeover. Kael can hear every single one of her unfiltered thoughts: the panic, the food cravings, the 3 a.m. Reddit scrolls, the running commentary about how stupidly hot he is. And somehow, her chaos is the only thing keeping him halfway human. But Elena’s old life isn’t staying buried. Old enemies remember her blades. Her emotionless little sister is hiding something behind those blank violet eyes. And the snarky blue orb feeding her “missions” might not be what it seems. As the mate bond tightens and Kael’s darkness claws closer, two questions burn louder than the rest: What if the thing she was sent here to heal… is the very thing that will kill her? Can a girl with zero qualifications, a Reddit addiction, and a possessed wolf pup save a broken king— or will his monster claim her first?

In spite of all her horrible past, this woman felt in her heart that she had to keep moving forward, she had a daughter to take care of, but no matter how hard she tried, she was always in crisis, because she did not have a good job, it was always hard to pay the utilities and food, until one moment to the next she was fired. This woman was not very accepted in society for the little experience she had, in addition to having no study and being a single mother, until onShe is Charlotte Ramirez, a very pretty and sweet girl who behind her beautiful and bright smile hides many problems, such as the death of her mother Chloe White, by a criminal gang, which affected her greatly in her adolescence and the cancer suffered by her father Noah Ramirez at the time of his adulthood. e day love knocked on her door and in a magical encounter she met Sebastian Wright a beautiful man and also very mysterious that little by little was introduced in her heart, and it turned out that this was not the man that Charlotte imagined, because behind his beautiful appearance hid a dark secret which would be able to change her life forever. What will happen between these two? Will her thirst for revenge allow her to open her heart to love?

It's 11:30 pm. Home alone, I decide to order some takeout. When the map shows the delivery guy is zero miles away, I receive a call from him. I pick up, only to hear unsettling silence from the other end. I hang up, annoyed. The next moment, the guy texts me, "Sorry, I'm hearing-impaired and unable to speak. I called to notify you to pick up your food as soon as possible. I can't explain things over the phone, and I apologize for that." Then comes another text. "You must've been waiting for a long time. I've left your order at your door, so please pick it up as soon as you can." Just as I prepare to open the door, I see bars of live comments—reminiscent of livestream chats—floating right before my eyes. "Don't open the door! That dude isn't a delivery guy at all! He's a murderer!" "He called you to check if you're a woman living alone!" "Seriously, why are all thriller story protagonists always so dumb? The delivery guy is obviously suspicious, yet she still wants to open the door."

My father-in-law tossed a credit card across the table and looked down at me, demanding that I divorce his daughter. In my past life, I had refused with everything I had. But this time, I picked up the pen and signed the divorce papers without a second thought. Because right then, I remembered what had happened last time. In that life, I found my wife after she had lost her memory. To support her, I worked myself to the bone, delivering 200 food orders a day. But when her memories came back, she realized she was actually the daughter of the wealthy Harretts. She saw our marriage as a stain on her perfect life. To get rid of me, she pretended to have amnesia again. She said, "Since you saved me once, I'll give you some money. But after this, don't ever show up in front of me again." I refused. I stayed by her side, enduring her insults and beatings. But in the end, she ordered our son to set the fire that killed me, just so she could marry her first love. Now that I had been given another chance, I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.

My boyfriend's childhood sweetheart bound herself to a transfer system: everything she ate would be redirected straight into my stomach. She opened a streaming account and broadcast herself eating for twelve hours straight. She earned a fortune. Meanwhile, I collapsed with acute pancreatitis and was rushed to the hospital. When I explained the situation to my boyfriend, he only stared at me like I was insane. "How could something that absurd exist? If food could really be transferred, no one in the world would ever starve. You're just jealous that she's making money from streaming." After that, every time his childhood sweetheart went live, I ended up hospitalized again. I kept hovering between life and death. I sought medical help, but the doctors couldn't explain my condition. Some even wanted to commit me to a psychiatric ward. Then, one day, in order to outdo her rivals in a PK match, she devoured ten pounds of rice in a single sitting. At that very moment, my spleen and stomach ruptured, and I bled to death on the spot. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day of her very first livestream. This time, I was prepared. I rushed out and bought twenty takeout meals. "This time," I said, "I'll eat first."