Food Jokes Novels & Stories

They say society looks down on divorced women, especially those who are no longer “beautiful” in its eyes but Amara doesn’t care. After ten years of being the perfect wife, enduring whispers about her looks, the cruel jokes about her weight, and the constant reminders from her husband that she’s “not beautiful enough,” she’s done. Her husband not only cheats on her… he moves his pregnant mistress into their marital home and flaunts her like a prize. When Amara asks for a divorce, he vows to destroy her. Promising to make her life so miserable she’ll come crawling back. But he’s wrong because Amara would rather die than return to him. In her search for a way out, she crosses paths with Lucian Rostova. He's dangerous. Ruthless and filthy rich. Lucian offers her a deal: he’ll help her ruin her ex-husband and his mistress if she agrees to marry him for one year. With her back against the wall, Amara says yes. But deals with the devil always come with a price. Will Lucian truly protect her like he promises… or will he crush her and leave her bleeding out in the cold?

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

Matthew Guerrero is the youngest son of a Mafia boss. He is a hot-headed man who always lets his fists act before his brain. But on the day he almost died at the hands of a treacherous client of his family, a man saved him—and that man was none other than Kaizer, someone who drifts from job to job. Their paths cross again when Kaizer becomes a bodyguard for the Guerrero family. Even though Kaizer once saved Matthew’s life, the two of them still constantly clash, both inside and outside the Guerrero mansion. Yet as time goes by, they slowly come to understand each other, and no one can separate these two men—through hardship and joy, they are always together. They get kidnapped together, shot together, end up in the hospital together, and even suffer food poisoning together from the street food they ate. After everything painful they have gone through, they are always side by side. Until little by little, what they feel for each other begins to change. Matthew thinks at first that it is just because Kaizer is his friend, but he realizes that what he feels for the man who is always with him is something far deeper. It is not easy for them to confess their feelings to each other before finally becoming a couple and doing the things only couples do. But behind those happy moments, Kaizer is hiding a secret—one that will shatter Matthew’s heart and world. A secret he has kept hidden for so long, one that will eventually explode and damage their love: a love born from trust and true affection… and lies.

Diana Charlotte is a strange and mysterious woman who was forced to be brought by Albert Valentino to serve as food for his Master, Raizel Harrison de Haltz who is a leader of a vampire clan named Haltz. Diana is a brave girl and is not afraid of anything, even if it is Raizel who is the strongest vampire. When the moment of her death was about to arrive, Diana remained calm, and still had time to stare at Raizel's blood-red irises with her blue irises. After her blood was sucked out, Diana should be dead. However, whether this was called a miracle or an oddity, Diana's heart was still beating even though it was very weak.

Sitting at the top of the food chain; the new emperor of Arcland who took the crown by force, was the ruthless and cold-hearted former general of the Royal army, Carzus Luis de Saltiere. He was widely known as the Death Sword of the battlefield who slaughtered kingdom after kingdoms with a wave of his sword. Not only that, his beast mask that covers his entire face added a ferocious aura on his already intimidating presence. But this very man that frightened everyone who cross paths with him acted like a shy puppy in front of Chiara ──a woman who was brave enough to ask him for a dance during the royal ball. The emperor was possessed! by .... love?

The whole world got sucked into a survival horror game. While everyone else was grinding mobs and trying not to get wiped, the system bugged out and tagged me as an NPC. My role? Takeout girl. I cruised around on my busted scooter, dropping food at boss lairs. If my rating dipped under 9.0, I'd keel over instantly. I figured I was just some unlucky idiot skating on death's edge. Then a pack of dumb players tried to jack my ride. That's when the scariest bosses in the game roared at once: "Who the hell thinks they can touch my crew?!"

Misty I looked at the faces of my pups on the screen, being away from them was so hard but I had to make it better. I had to provide for them. Give them the best chance I could as a single uneducated Mother. They'd had such a crap start to life, mostly my own fault because if I hadnt stayed when he continued to allow the alcohol to become him, they wouldnt have been through the hell, but then if I hadnt stayed they all wouldnt exist and i dont regret any of them, No matter how they were conceived. My Life, My Legacy, My loves. I listened to them tell me about all their adventures and the feasts they ate from banana leaves. Id put out an ad searching for somebody to take care of them while I worked, somebody to love them and assure them i wasnt abandoning them just trying to make things better. Id found those angels, theyd accepted accomodation food and utilities in exchange for making sure my pups were fed, clean and cared for. I thanked the driver for the ride and entered the roadhouse, passed all the food that made my stomach rumble from its 48 hour emptiness, made use of the amenities and headed out back to try and get another ride north that would hopefully take me all the way back to my pups. I took a seat at an empty table, aware of the fact i hadnt showered in 3 days, I kept my eyes down and avoided contact listening for conversation that would point me to a driver heading north. That was the beginning of the rest of my life.

In her quest to keep surviving, Timbre, a lone wolf sneaks into an annual ball celebration to steal some food, when she bumped into the most feared and heartless Alpha to roam the earth, going through one of his panic episodes. Instead of freaking out like every other person, Timbre is amused and moves closer to him in an attempt to calm him down. Fortunately or unfortunately, she makes his panic episodes stop, but instead of a gratitude from this Alpha, she is captured and locked up in his territory. Would this be the beginning of her suffering or the start of a love story? What happens when Timbre finds out she is more than a mere lone wolf?

She is the epitome of joy. Bubbly, adorable, and innocently sweet. All her life she had devoted herself to caring for her loved ones. All of a sudden, her dreams came true. No, there's no time for love. Food is her romance, cooking is her passion. But what if, unexpectedly love comes knocking on her door? Will she run or stay? He doesn't care for a mate. In fact, he doesn't care for romance at all. His energy is too much drained from managing his realm. He doesn't even have the energy to bed a woman. But what if, unexpectedly he meets his silver hand? Will he fight for her?

Kim woke up one morning to find that she was dead ... well UNDEAD. Unfortunately, her Vampire after-life is a big mystery. The ones that know are out to kill her and her allies happen to be her food. In order to survive the Vampire Nation, Kim will have to outsmart and out think her enemies. The last thing Kim wants or needs are the three gorgeous men vying for her attention, one chocolate, one vanilla and the last caramel. How do you choose between the gorgeous protector, the charming and tasty food, and the scary dangerous elder? Warning; adult situations, graphic sex and language.Urban Vampire is created by Pepper Pace, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.