Food Jokes Novels & Stories

When Annalise came to Great Oaks, it was the worst punishment she ever had. She had known the city to be normal and boring but it was not until she discovered that that normal and boring was just a facade to cover the darkness looming over it. Her view changed when one night, she got bitten by a vampire. She will realize that Great Oaks is swarmed with these creatures. She's human, food for the vampires. But in the city of Great Oaks, things could change. And with change, she will realize she is more than just a human but something greater than she wished to acknowledge.

"Did Kai finally get laid” Everyone turned to the shirtless Kai whose neck and chest were filled with hickey. Amber choked on her food, she remembered kissing Preston last night and the fact that Kai was staring at her proved that she did not only kiss Preston but was also responsible for the love bites on Kai. * * * * * * Amber was thrown into a world she wasn't used to, living as a rogue, she never expected to have six possessive Alphas as her stepbrothers and after she rejected her cheating mate, her stepbrothers decided to make her their mate.

For the whole 17 years of her existence, Alana did not know the word freedom and happiness having been confined in the basement of her family’s house accused of killing her own mother. She’s beaten, cursed at, and barely survived from crumbs of food thrown at her. She thought this is her final destiny and has accepted the bitter fate of her life not until the night of her 18th birthday, a mysterious alpha appeared at her door telling her that she is the long-lost daughter of the alpha king and claiming her as his mate he’s been looking for several years now.

Mia Nova is sold to the devil to clear her fathers debt. Luca Barone, known in whispered fear as Diavolo, doesn’t just collect money, he also collects souls. Luca expects to meet a broken Mia who will plead for her life with tears and vivid fear. Instead he meets a petty thief who fears nothing. She smiles when he threatens to sell her to men, and makes jokes about her breast size not being enough for these men. In Luca’s world, the biggest currency is fear, but it seems Mia is bankrupt. When she steps into Pandemonium, his secret lair where powerful men are undone, she becomes the queen of the night, raking in five hundred million dollars in her first night. They make a second deal. The freedom of her soul costs six billion dollars in the six months of her gracing the golden chair every night. A kiss seals the deal. That same kiss changes everything between them. He becomes possessive, and she wants to surrender to him, but the ghost of the woman who graced the chair before her, returns with a fire that is set to burn everything down. Mia must decide between running from the Devil who owns her, or staying with the man who no longer wants to.

"You’re worthless, Evelyn. Tell me, what real Alpha would stay with a barren woman in this world?!" With trembling hands, I wiped away the tears streaming down my face. My body was weak from days without food in the cold dungeon. Evelyn’s life has never made sense. Rejected by her first mate at eighteen, she becomes an Omega slave. Fate offers her a second chance with Alpha John Xavier, who marries her, but the marriage is no better. She is treated like a servant, and two years later, his first love, Diane, returns to reclaim her place in his heart. John lavishes Diane with the affection Evelyn longs for and ultimately rejects and divorces her. Thrown into a cold dungeon as punishment, she endures days without food and water, all because of Diane who was later revealed to be pregnant for John. Just when she thinks John might have a change of heart, he demands that she sacrifice her kidney for Diane. Evelyn discovered a secret that changed everything, she was carrying John’s child. Now, five years later, Evelyn and John meet again as business partners, working together to save his struggling pack. John, filled with regret, is desperate to win her back. But there’s another man who loves her and is willing to keep her by his side. Will Evelyn forgive John and give him a second chance or will she choose the man who has vowed to never let her go?

[TRIGGER WARNING: Reader's Discretion Is Advised. This book contains mature themes, explicit sexual content, dark romantic elements, and strong language. It is intended for adult audiences(18+). Proceed with caution.] He placed a hand on my leg, and my breath caught. His hand slowly began stroking my thigh, sending a strange wave of sensation through my body. My fingers tightened against my dress as my pulse quickened. His hand moved slowly higher, sliding deeper into my thigh. My body stiffened as his fingers brushed against my panties. My heart pounded loudly in my chest. Is Master doing what I think he’s going to do? I thought, panic slowly rising inside me. He leaned slightly closer to me, his shoulder brushing mine. “Try not to moan,” he whispered, my breath hitched. I tried my best to stay still, forcing myself to keep my expression calm as the men around the table continued their conversation. But under the table, his fingers kept teasing the fabric of my panties. My breathing grew uneven, then his fingers suddenly slipped inside. A small cough escaped my lips as my body jerked slightly from the sudden sensation. Several heads turned toward me. “Are you okay, Mrs. Enzo?” one of them asked with concern. My face burned with embarrassment. “Is something wrong? Did you choke on the food?” another man asked. “I think she choked on the food,” Enzo said calmly as he looked at me, his eyes held a warning.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

The prophecy has been told. A Tribrid will be born to slaught*er every people who oppose with its rule. She will be the queen of all, and every person who will go against her will not only lost his life, but will also burn his soul. Every races was threatened, thus, they made one cruel rule: No Tribrid shall be born. However, few years later, an omega from Shadow pack made a disturbance with its destructive power that trembled everyone. But no one had found where the Tribrid girl after the incident. They were restless. They need to find the tribid and kill it before everything became too late. One the other hand, Sidrich was oblivious of the destructive power within her. Being abused and slaved her whole life, it was hard for her to trust someone again. But meeting the second prince of Sharmai empire, Prince Alastair, Sidrich found herself trusting the prince instantly. His flirtatious remarks, his corny jokes, and his undying devotion to protect Sidrich at all cost beyond everything and everyone made the latter feel safe and comfortable towards the prince. Amidst of all chaos and chasing, the two fought for their love that has never been permissible. However, happiness comes with a price. With enemies trying to find and kill the tribrid, could the two of them would be able to fight until the end of all the havoc?

During the mass terrorist attack in Manila, every legal-aged citizen is required to work for the government in order to reclaim the living land by battling as an option. The country where the terrorists originated is still in the unknown and under further investigation. Meanwhile, juveniles who were separated from their families had no choice but to live by themselves — whereas building a town, planting food crops, hunting animals and even manslaughter is even a necessity by means of survival. Keisha and his brother, Jaden, are left alone to be chased by vicious brutes hiding from the shadows. Until then they found hope wherein they can rule over and claim justice in the ongoing catastrophe. Is this going to be their chance to be the unsung heroes?