Fucked Up Jokes

ASTRID SAGE Everyone calls me naive and innocent, and in every way, I am. When I took a fancy in peering at FREDERICK SALVATORE each time he stopped by the orphanage to drop off his donation, it was just out of mere curiosity. I find him fascinating and alluring, like a piece of art. But when I get kidnapped and put up for auction, he's in the crowd of the deadliest people I've ever seen. He put the craziest bid on me and I get to find out that his name isn't FREDRICK SALVATORE. He's the notorious EAGAN KING and this is his world. Now I understand why he has that unexplainable dark aura around him. Is it possible to find him less fascinating now that I know what he's truly like? EAGAN KING A monster. A killer. A sociopath. A greedy-ass bastard. The devil. Everyone has different names for me, and they're right. I'm all of that and more. I wanna own this hell and rule these bastards. I wanna own LOVE ISLAND CITY. But to own it, I have to kill the real owner. Seven families are topping the hierarchy. I've killed three, I'm left with four. I attend this auction event to figure out the weaknesses of my next target. And then there she is, looking very virgin-ish and fucking innocent, standing on the auction ground with fear in her eyes. Bidding her was not part of my plan. But I'll be fucked up if I let these motherfuckers have her. (Warning: this is a dark romance, not for the faint-hearted. Read at your own risk and please, no criticisms.)

You should enjoy it. Bitches like you don’t deserve vanilla sex." He hovered over me and took my sore, overly sensitive nipple in his mouth. He bit it hard and I screamed. He rammed his shaft deep into my cunt at once and I screamed. “Fuck!” he didn’t give me a chance to adjust to his size or anything. He kept on moving in and out at a speed I couldn’t keep up with. “Is this not how you like it? How you like to be fucked like the whore that You are,” he said and grabbed my chin as he yelled in my face. He didn’t give me any breathing space. I surely was going to get sore after this. ^.^.^.^ Leia Gambino thought she had seen the worst when her father, Roman Gambino; an American mafia boss forced her to marry Jericho de Luca; the heir apparent to the capo de carmine of the well-feared Italian mafia; Banda Della. Little did Leia know that she was sold away in disguise. On her wedding day, none of her parents were around. Things took a worst turn on the first night. Jericho sees Leia as a sex object and a panacea for his impotence while Jericho's father sees her as a business tool and a bait.

I fell for Don Lorenzo Moretti the second I saw him. Hard. As a mafia princess, I wasn't supposed to chase anyone. But for him, I swallowed my pride and made him my mission. A year later, he finally had me, pinning me to the bed as he moved inside me. His eyes were pure fire, and in that mo ment, they saw only me. For ten years, we were electric. We fucked in five-star hotels all over the world. We just fit. I was his lucky charm at the poker table. I took shots for him until I bled from my stomach. I even took a bullet for him. Then came our engagement party. Lorenzo left me standing there alone. Said something "came up." I went back to our apartment, only to find him kissing my stepsister, Juliana. That’s when I knew. He had always loved her. I was just a stand-in. He tried to explain, words tumbling out in a panicked rush, promising a bigger, better party to make up for it. A laugh, cold and hollow, died in my throat. I turned my back on him, pulled out my phone, and called my mother in Sicily. "I'll marry into the Romano family."

It’s ironic, you think you have a basic boring life: go to school, go on summer vacation, work, eat, sleep and repeat, and still people will find things to complain about saying they want more adventure, or something exciting to happen to them. Then suddenly, that exact thing happens to you. And you get dragged in to a war that’s been raging for hundreds of years. I’m only 17, I should be worrying about other things! Finishing school, what I want to do with my life, boys! But the day I meet Ash everything changed and I am yet to decided if they changed for the better. And it all started because of a nightmare. Who would have thought nightmares could be real. DEFINITELY NOT ME!…

Gale, a weak college student, accidentally awakened the powers hidden within him. As someone who experience injustice in his life, he tried to play a hero in an attempt to instill justice using his new found powers. However, when he realized that the world isn't as simple as he think it is, it was already too late as he already crossed the line that he shouldn't have. With the emergence of the powerful enemies who hunted him, he was forced to join a mysterious group in order to cultivate his powers. Upon reaching several ranks in his cultivation, he slowly learned the secrets of his parents as well as the clue of the mysterious entity who are responsible of their deaths. He also felt that this mysterious entity was actually controlling everything behind the scenes to achieve their ultimate goal, which is to awaken the SUPREME NATURE and rule over the world and the entire universe.

Lisa Knox The day I caught my husband and my sister having sex on the bed while my son had drowned in the pool was the day I made my decision and stood by it. Nothing was going to make me stay in this five years marriage. So, I took the divorce papers, signed it and left everything behind. Including the wealth and company I Inherited from my late dad. I had handed everything in my life over to him when I was blinded by love. Now, I vowed as I stepped out to get back everything until my sister and my ex husband are reduced to nothing. * Andrew McCarthy The day before my wedding, I had caught my first love and wife-to-be getting fucked by my PA in the study room. I had said nothing and simply went out to drink, completely hopeless for love. There I met her, a beautiful young lady whom I could use for the night. The sex had been good but that was about it. I cancelled the wedding when I got a call to come back home and take up the responsibility of a father, to adopt my niece because my twin brother had just been murdered. Five years later, everything is in chaos and I need a woman who is experienced in raising children who will stay. So when I met that lady from the one night stand again, I made up my mind to have her for myself. She would be my wife and would raise my daughter, no matter what.

Elizabeth Kennedy, an orphan who doesn’t want anything but a normal life. She wants a quiet life away from all the complicated fucked up, scheming life that others live. She doesn’t have money, friends, and family to call her own. A lone girl making her living with a part-time job and all the odd jobs she can to make money. Supporting herself is tiring sometimes but she has no other options. She just wants to complete her college and find a decent job to make life easier. She is a simple girl with a difficult life until she meets him. Christian Ford is a billionaire who can get everything he wants with just one word. People respect him, fear him, scheme around him but can never take advantage of him. He lives a carefree life. He never has such feelings until he meets Elizabeth. Something in her attracts him, and her blue eyes capture his heart. He is pulled towards her unconsciously. He decides then and there that he will make her his. But the question is that he has a secret. Will Elizabeth accept his Darkside and be willing to be with him? Somehow, Elizabeth ends up tangled in all the scheming, dangers because of Christian. She tries to escape; he finds her every time. Will she survive all the hardship and get together with Christian? Can Christian protect Lisa and make her his? Will Lisa be able to escape from his clutch? Or will she fall for him? Let 's read and find the answers.

To fulfill his sister's birthday wish, Anthony - a billionaire CEO who loves privacy perfection and orderliness - has to accommodate Vivian, a stubborn lady who doesn't care about details and is used to chaos. They start out as enemies, fighting over every little thing but they have no choice - Anthony has to fulfill his sister's birthday wish, and Vivian has nowhere to go as her parents sent her packing. Slowly, they begin to see the good in each other, and that they aren't all that bad after all. From small talks and jokes, they progress to filling in as dates for the other, until they fall in love. But Vivian didn't disclose everything about her reason for being disowned and sent away by her parents, Until her past and her arranged husband begins to haunt her. Will their love stand the test of time? Only one way to find out!

Three years ago, I drugged the mafia heir, Vincent. After that one wild night, he didn’t kill me. Instead, he fucked me until my legs went weak, gripping my waist and whispering the same word over and over: “Principessa.” Just as I was about to propose, his first love, Isabella, returned. To keep her happy, Vincent let a car hit me, had my mother’s heirlooms thrown to stray dogs, and sent me to prison… But when I was finally broken, flying to Boston to marry someone else, Vincent tore New York City apart to find me.

Freda Aton dream was about to come true; getting married to her mate and future Alpha until a strange mark deemed her cursed.  Rejected and abandoned by her pack, she ran into the Blood moon pack Alpha, Craig Redding, who kept his identity hidden from her. He knew about the cursed mark, and Freda would do anything to know about the mark that just ruined her life. Together they embarked on the journey to discover who Freda really was.  Is the truth about both their identities going to break or make them?