Funny Adult Jokes

"It all started when I ate my prom date..." When vegetarian Anna starts to get strange cravings for meat for the first time in her life, she doesn't understand what's happening. Then on prom night when her date gets a cut, Anna's fangs descend and she nearly drains him. Running away from the horror of it all, Anna is captured by Roman and Luke. She then learns of a ancient hidden society that's been kept secret for thousands of years. A hybrid between werewolves and vampires, the Lycan race is both deadly and aien to Anna. When secrets are revealed, can Anna find her true place in the paranormal counts? And will the alpha's Roman and Luke be willing to share the one true queen? Adult language and situations- not for children.

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.

Ethan Lewis has been in the bright lights for as long as he can remember. He’s just turned the cusp of celebrating his twenty-fourth birthday, and yet he feels more like eighty. Living the life of a celebrity isn’t all it is chalked up to be, and dealing with the unruly number of women who are more interested in his billions than who he is as a person is getting old. He has resigned himself to giving up on love and focusing on the only thing that truly gives back – his career. Riley Phillips has always dreamed of being on a big stage with the warmth of the spotlight baring down on her, but she just couldn’t seem to catch the right agent’s attention. After giving a quick commencement speech as Valedictorian of her graduating class at Billmore High, she’s offered something she can’t refuse... The chance to work in Hollywood. It’s not all it’s chalked up to be, but she works hard and finally gets her big break four years down the line. There is a new movie that her agent wants her to audition for, and her co-star? The dreamy Ethan Lewis. She scores the part, but soon regrets it due to his callous, overbearing persona. He’s nothing like the public touts, and she for one isn’t impressed. Funny enough, he is - immensely.

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

When Aderaldo Cetta Early desires something or someone, nothing can stop him. For him Naara Kiva fulfills all the requirements he’s looking for and desires. To make her his lover is the only choice for the man. In Early’s eyes, their relationship is splendid, until Naara ruins everything. Naara’s life is turned upside down as she is forced to become the lover of this cruel and authoritarian man whom she just met. Even worse, Naara is only seen as a toy for him. It’s like Early is never serious with her. Naara has no desire for a relationship with no feelings, but she cannot forget Early.

Love doesn't work the way people thought! Melissa Harts happen to be a victim of a confused and frustrating love triangle. As a young adult, she had to struggle over the urge of pretending to love a playboy,billionaire and the favorite legitimate son of his father. Loving Williams Hughes eventually turns out to be her worst punishment. Been caught in the painful web of love, should she pardon love or despise love?

Pelican Bay Security is full of hot former Navy SEALS, a small costal town in Maine (with a crime problem), and a group of Bakery Girls waiting to cause trouble. When I moved here to set up a new security company as a fugitive recovery specialist, I didn’t plan to find my next-door neighbor breaking into her aunt’s house. I also didn’t expect the random henchmen harassing her for diamonds she insists she doesn’t have.Tabitha is running from an ex-boyfriend, and I desperately want to help. As a former Navy SEAL I have the skills to deal with almost any idiot willing to give his girlfriend a black eye. Her lies, drama, and ex-boyfriend catch up with her and it may not be something I can handle on my own. I just hope if things turn violent, we both come out alive.A fun, humorous romantic suspense series from USA Today bestselling author, Megan Matthews!#explicit #Suggested age 18+Pelican Bay Security is created by Megan Matthews, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author.

Shin. A fairly short name, but has a deep meaning. The name was a gift from my father. Dad said, "I don't want to burden you with the length of a name. Shin, I think this name suits you. For a personality that never complicates things."My life changed drastically after the death of my parents. My brothers did not guard me, but tortured me. Previously my house was like a palace, but now it is like a house in hell.However, the suffering that I thought would be eternal slowly disappeared after the presence of a strange man in my life. He thought that I was his lover in the past. The man made the flow of my life uncertain. Happy, sad, hurt, all I often feel. Especially when a woman returns who turns out to be the man's real lover.

18+ ( Warning: Language, Violence, adult scenes etc) "I'll kill anyone who touches you, Balia." "Even yourself?" Senna's eyes narrowed. "Especially myself." - In the dark world of organized crime, loyalty is a luxury and love is a deadly game. When Balia is taken captive by ruthless mafia don Senna, their twisted relationship ignites a deadly power struggle. Will their passion be enough to overcome the secrets of their past, or will it ultimately destroy them?

The corner of my eye noticed someone sitting on the first bench. He looked at me and stared at my ring, then shook his head. Oh my God, is this a bad sign? "Just throw away the ring because it will cause disaster in your household. You will die and come back to life because of that man's love." *** Hard romance|dramatic|betrayal