Funny #aliens Novels & Stories

He laughed. “You’re an alien!?” I yelled shocked. My dream just got weirder. “Dolhq to be exact. I’m kind of in-between.” “This isn’t a dream is it?” I asked as something slippery swam between my legs. I felt a shock travelled through my body before everything went black…

"I'm proud of every one of you. Now we get to see some aliens for a change! And who knows... maybe we’ll get to have a picture with them and even shake their hands afterwards. Any of those two accomplishments would serve as bragging rights to tell our grandchildren and their children’s children for generations to come! But first, we need to do our job. Move out! And Godspeed!” Samuel offered a jest to lighten up the mood of his soldiers because there were really no other words that needed to be said that were of import. At least these ones came here knowing full well of what they faced. Not one of these brave souls were picked in a list of random marines for the aliens to cook for breakfast.

The emotional damn came dangerously close to collapse. “Sorry, mom. The wound is too fresh. How about some music,” He played with the radio dial and found nothing but static. He checked his mother's phone and his, no internet, or cell reception. He pressed play on the cd console. Bizarre Latin dance filled the van. Warren groaned and dubbed the offensive noise: it was better than nothing. Answers, Warren wanted answers and explanations. Did the world get attacked by aliens while he skated his way to a provincial hockey championship? The thought seemed wholly ridiculous, but given the evidence, a real possibility. The argument fell apart because the creatures used primitive tools and crude we

“Hey what happened to that guy you were with a couple weeks ago?” “Oh him? We still talk but he clearly is an idiot, I thought if we dated id feel something for him but I don’t. I think I don’t like guys at all.” “You like girls?” “I don’t know never thought about it.” “Well, you can’t possibly like aliens.” “You don’t know that. They could really be aliens in outer space and I could very well be attracted to them.” “The day aliens come to the planet I will gladly offer you up to them to save the planet.”

“Okay, first off, please, don’t call me that anymore. Second, I never expected to run into another Kaiju like that.” “Kaiju? So, they are real?” “Yeah, they are real. Not all of them are as friendly as I am,” he warned. “Where did that Kaiju back there come from? Matter of fact, where did you come from?” “Well, I have no clue where it came from, but as for where I came from, that’s a little more complicated.” “What do you mean complicated Are you an alien? " “Not exactly. Aliens come from space. Kaiju come from a different dimension,” he explained.

She was in the same outfit as earlier. “I thought you might wear a gown” I teased her “I’d rather buy one on earth” she laughs “Are you excited mom? she questions as we head down the stairs “I sure am” mom replies with a lively tone and walks ahead of us “Finally, its farewell aliens” Arig speaks as we pass by him “Yeah Alien. It is” I speak first “I’m gonna miss the two of you” he smiles “Don’t worry. We’ll meet soon at a peace treaty” I blur out that makes us all laugh

I paused to see if he was going to, but he remained silent and listened. “These new shifters came from space.” Kyle spoke. “Aliens! We’re all freaking aliens!” He shouts with a huff. Kyle only laughed at his outburst. This let Chaze know that he was wrong, to a certain extent. “No, man… I mean, sort of. Anubis and the others were thought to have come from the sky as well, but we’re not little green men.” Kyle corrected him, which surprised me that Kyle knew a bit about the human history of things. Impressive.

“From what I've been told, only for a second before it heightens your orgasm.” “So we'll have to have sex?” I snort, picturing him fucking me and biting me at the same time. Who knew aliens were a kinky bunch of feral species? “Yes, but most of my essence will enter you through my clubbed-cock-” I gasp, “your what?!”

Well, one girl, the other was very much a woman. “I want to travel on clouds,” Sofia said. “Do you think they would help us to fly?” “Yes. We’d be able to go to space and see if there are aliens.” “You and aliens again,” Alix said. “Do you think that’s where we’ll find the monster shark as well?” “Yep, and he will nibble your toes,” Sofia said. “Daddy!”

I trailed off as the cabinet itself opened and something came out. The something has a figure like a human being but is covered with black holes. "GUACAMOLE IS SHIIIIT!" I cringed as I grabbed the knife on my boot and was ready to stab the thing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The 'thing' chuckled. What? "It talks..." Realizing what's happening, I bursted into tears and held my knife right in front of me. "The human race is in danger, aliens know how to speak!"