Funny Backhanded Compliments Novels & Stories

I retort stupidly, rolling back my shoulders, and they laugh again. The man who came out of the forest first tsks, “Oh, I’m really sorry, your Highness.” Him mocking me triggers another round of laughter, and even the wolf snorts as if he were joining them. Idiots. “It’s okay,” I put up a smug smile, straightening my spine. “You couldn’t know any better.” A sense of complacency wafts through me as his idiotic bully face falls, and I take another step backwards to just turn around. “It was nice meeting you, guys.”

I looked back up. He was grinning. "Oh wait," he continued with his perfect thirty two on display. I couldn't help but notice how perfect they were. "Never mind, that's just your nasty personality." His friends wheezed. I turned around without breaking stride and walked backward for three steps before I stopped. "That is really funny coming from a block head whose only known personality is just daddy's money and a sports title. Take just one of those away and what is left? A very tall nobody?" I retorted.

I say, grateful for his help. “You know you’re not as boring as I initially thought you were. You know how to crack jokes making you relatively funny and you know how to hold an interesting conversation” I tease. “Gee” he scoffs, “thanks so much for the compliment” he replies sarcastically.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” “What about ‘persistent’?” He counters. I roll my eyes. “That’s one way to put it.” “Or, maybe ‘physically strong’?” “Absolutely not.” “Smart?” “Good one.” “Right right. Insanely intelligent. That’s better.” “You forgot ‘humble’,” I retort sarcastically. “Ok. How about clever?” “That’s pushing it.” “Frustrating?” “Yes!” I give him a mocking clap. “You finally got one right.”

he stated, pointing with a smirk. I brief wiped my nostril, guffawing. “Really? I’m this type of mess!” He chuckled and leaned nearer. “It’s cute. You need to encompass it.” “Embrace being a mess?” I responded, grinning. “I suppose I’ll skip!” Jake leaned again, shaking his head in enjoyment. “You’re lovely even as you’re being stupid.” The compliment made my cheeks warm. I loved how clean it became to comedian story spherical with him. It felt natural and comforting.

“Sorry, I’m more of a ‘do-unto-others-what-they- do-unto-you’ kind of guy.” I laughed. “No wonder God made you cute. You will not handle criticisms and insults well.” “Cute is a huge understatement, don’t you think?” He winked. “Cute is actually a very generous compliment,” I said, teasing him in return. “I will grow on you. One day, you’ll see.” He smiled, reaching across the table to pinch my nose. “Maybe. So let’s order before I starve to death and not live to see that day, shall we?”

A bright smile on his face and everyone sank low, disappointed, including Kai. “What a waste of chance,” he rumbled. “God, you’re so dumb.” The twins synchronized with drowsy faces and I chuckled. “Of course.” I beamed and Kai ruffled his fingers through my hair. “My turn,” He continued, “SJ, you peed your pants yesterday, didn’t you?” Everybody chuckled and Mr. Kim’s face turned red. “God, I hate ginger,” He said as I filled a spoonful paste in front of his eyes, “of course,” he hastily replied, “of course, I peed my pants yesterday.” And everyone lost it, laughing like idiots, so this is called backfiring.

he smiled as I took the can from his fingers, “not every guy you will meet here is going to be a jerk." I nodded at him and gulped half of the soda from the can down my throat. Carrie rubbed my shoulder when he cut the silence again. “Well, you've caused quite a stir. I can see why.” I was taken aback by his backhanded compliment. Carrie gave him a look. “If you don't leave my best friend alone this instant, I will stir-fry you later.” This made me smile and they both went on and on with a light banter to lighten my mood. They tried hard and I appreciated it.

I try to stretch a bit more but the muscle spasms worsen. “Nope, it’s definitely broken.” I comment, clutching my tummy again. I feel like my insides were almost gouged out. “Next time when you meet someone, you should lead with ‘Hey, I’m the Alpha prince, and I have a horse dick which could potentially cripple you.’” “I’m flattered that you think so highly of me…” “That wasn’t a compliment, you cocky bastard.” I rolled my eyes playfully. “But…I wouldn’t need to make the statement because I wouldn’t be meeting any new person that needs to know that.”

he pointed to the screen. “What? No way!” I barked, eyes widened as I started. Ah… did he just say all of that? What am I supposed to say when someone compliments you like that? Wait… he compared me to an animated rabbit, is that a compliment? But the animated cartoon is loved by all, so that should be a compliment right? Ugh… should I say thank you? Silence. Neither of us said anything, until I broke the silence, “I’m so glad I agreed for us to be friends.”