Funny Cat Stories Novels & Stories

“You scared me! Geez!” What was her name again? Piper? Pepper? “Hey! Yo momma is so ugly that if Shrek had a live action film, she wouldn’t even pass as the donkey,” I laughed out loud at my own joke while staring mockingly at the cat, as if it was Juno I was talking to and insulting directly.

It’s just like how I don’t like going to the dentist. “Are you liking your move so far?” Miss Redford, the cat owner asks, she’s very friendly and likes to talk. I don’t really mind so much as it fills the silences and I enjoy talking about crap as much as the next person. “So far it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.” I smile up at her and she grins wide. “Just ignore all the horror stories.” She laughs. I look up at her again. “Horror stories?” “Oh yeah.” She eagerly nods. “Wolves and kidnapping, it’s always been a little scary myth around here but that’s all it is.” She rolls her eyes. “Just old stories handed down in generations. No need to worry.”

Till then, I could keep my hands to myself or walk away when I couldn’t stand it anymore. “I’m just curious,” he replied. His voice pulled me out of my thoughts and my face morphed into a frown. I was happy to zone out of the conversation and stick with my thoughts, but the more he spoke, the more I’m reminded that I’m still here, stuck with someone I don’t want to speak to. “We all know what happened to the curious cat. How ‘bout you learn from that tale?” “I don’t have to worry about any of that. I had no affiliations whatsoever with cats,” he said and chuckled at his own joke.

And I can't be less proud of her. The rest of our dinner time is filled with us eating together and my mum and I laughing at Cathy's hilarious jokes and stories, particularly at the story she told us of how she had to throw bagel bread at an annoying colleague of hers so that she can grab his attention to work. I really tried so hard not to picture the scenerio in my head, but I just could not stop myself from laughing at the imagination. Thank God I had already swallowed my food before then.

“Happy?” I asked. “Tell me a story,” she said. “I need to fall asleep again.” I furrowed my brows for a bit before I finally spoke. “Once upon a time, there was a little caterpillar named Alfred,” I began. “Alfred was the strangest creature in the entire meadow, and he was always seen as the odd one out. The other caterpillars made fun of him all the time, and they would secretly plan how they were going to make fun of him whenever they saw him. They hid the best leaves from him, and he was forced to eat rotten and dried leaves most of the time. Even though his father was the largest and most important caterpillar in the meadow, no one cared about that. They still picked on him, so much so t

Putting her glass down to focus on him, she continued, “When I was little, I used to think I could talk to stray cats since I was always surrounded by them. So, I tried to lead a whole army of them into my neighborhood compound to start a rebellion against some strict landlords. I ended up getting chased up a mango tree and had to stay there for three hours until someone brought a ladder.” “Aren’t you a stray cat too?” “What? Don’t say that!” “Alright, commander.” A new round of laughter burst from Thalia. “Oh no…” Julian watched her with a look of pure, undivided fascination in his eyes. Seeing her like this… talking non-stop, laughing, sharing silly childhood stories, her small frame vibra

"Now it's the turn of the small talk." A man near her was telling an anecdote about how he lost his house while playing poker. Cat joined the audience and laughed at the appropriate places. The story wasn't funny at all, who was playing for a whole building? Only people who have had the money in both ears and who probably only noticed the loss of a property after months. Still, she was flirtatious and cultured, toasting the speaker with the others after he finished. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed at the same time that Dareon was talking to an elderly lady. Apparently she found him very amusing. When the pack was lost, Cat walked over to the outspoken gamer and smiled charmingly at

I asked in a babyish voice. "Remember; curiosity killed the cat," she said and laughed at my inquisitiveness. "But I'm not a cat," I joked, rolling my eyes even though she couldn't see me, I was sure she was already imagining me doing just that. "Whatever... I gotta call the girls too, bye," she said and ended the call immediately. I smiled at that and kept wondering what the good news was. I hoped it was what I was thinking. I totally forgot about the story I was about to read and called Raj to inform him about my meeting with my friends. I left afterwards.

As I drove down the street, I noticed he had gone unusually quiet in the back seat. "You okay back there?" I asked, glancing at him through the rearview mirror. He nodded, still pouting. "Want to hear a story?" I asked. His head lifted a bit. "Only if it's a funny one." I smiled. "Alright, once upon a time, there was a little lion who didn’t want to go to school. Every morning, he would hide in his blanket cave and pretend to be asleep." Jace chuckled. "But his mom, the lioness, was very smart. So one day, she put a cookie at the edge of the cave and said, 'Whoever comes out gets the magical cookie of bravery!'"

I yelled with fake anger, "It almost turned into a real crime, and you’re dreaming! And my pants with the pink and orange cats… yes, those too! They were my favorite. I want to cry." My voice cracked, like losing my cotton cat pants was the final blow to my patience. Isla couldn’t hold it in. She exploded with laughter, falling back onto the couch, holding her stomach. "Oh my God! Your cat pants!! Did you say the cats were lined up like a flock of ducks?!" I smacked her shoulder hard. "Stop it! I’m being serious!" She wiped tears of laughter. "So am I! If I were you, I’d cry over the pants alone. Bags can be replaced, but pink cats are priceless!"